True Stories....

More Hype Coming Soon....

2007-08-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time...but I now have some extra free time in the coming weeks. All is good on the home front and job front (In fact, couldn't be better). But, I have lots to share with the world. Keep checking back as I will be re-launching this blog. If you're all still out there...let me know!

A Little Diversion Called Life.

2006-09-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

Good, Ol' Joey...sigh.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Been busy with life. Needless to say I have been traveling all over for work, going up to Northern Arizona on the weekends and just enjoying the little things of life, and the big things as well. But I also have not written in awhile because of the last post and the idiot that decided to post the mean and nasty comment. After a well investigated search, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really could care less who that person is. Although I am 99% sure of who it was, I figure, hell, let him just wallow in his miserable life and continue on the downward spiral. I even thought about posting a link to the Maricopa County Court System to be really mean and cruel, but then I though, eh, that would be stooping to the low level that he is at. So, all in all, he knows who he is and well, that’s enough said. All, I have to say is you know who your friends are, and you definitely know who are not. The end.

A lot has gone on in the world, since I last posted. There are so many things I could comment on, and going forward I definitely will, such as:

1. Can you believe Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown broke up? FINALLY. It’s about damn time. I can’t wait for her next “I’m so damn mad screaming diva” album.

2. How low can gas prices go with the election coming up? Can the Republicans be any more obvious? Gas hit under $2.00 a gallon in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. Hummer sales are going to SOAR! (Whatever.)

3. OK, can Joey Lawrence get any hotter? As far as I am concerned, he IS the star in “Dancing with the Stars” on ABC. (Of course, there is that little rumor that Joey is known for having something big, other than his dancing ability…but I digress…sigh…)

4. I just love Meredith Viera on the Today Show. She seems so much more fun than Katie Couric.

5. The political election in Phoenix and Arizona is getting absolutely INSANE. God, love my Janet sign in my front yard! John Kyl is a complete idiot. I cannot wait till mid-November when there are no political attack ads.

6. When will NASA understand that the debris flying off the Space Shuttle is not the problem considering that the Shuttle itself IS a pile of ancient flying debris. Did they ever think about putting nice smooth large panels over all those exposed pipes and wires so that debris wouldn’t float all over the place?

7. When was the last time you were yelled at like a child by your President?

8. The new “Here and Now” Monopoly game is fabulously fun! They even have a space for Cleveland, Ohio (Mediterranean Ave) and Phoenix, Arizona (Kentucky Avenue). Check out the actually game pieces….way cool.

9. Dealing with job recruiters can be way frustrating.

Speaking of Job Recruiters, I have decided to take the job search seriously considering my boss has become even more of a “C You Next Tuesday”. In fact, its getting extremely hard to get out of bed and go to work. Work has turned from a fun career to a job. To manage, I’ve now manipulated my schedule to “work from home” on Fridays. It does give me some relief but it’s still hard working with a woman who does nothing but lie to you. I’ve stepped up my front by contacting Employee Relations at my company. Unfortunately, the problem is when you work in Human Resources, you ARE employee relations. There’s really no place to go when someone in HR has a problem. Which sucks. So, in an effort to change my work life around I have decided to funnel my frustration and negative energy into finding another job. And it’s starting to work. I had 2 interviews with 2 different companies and have to return calls back to 2 additional ones. So, its hopefully a matter of time before I have an offer on the table. I really do love my job and actually do like the company, but I cannot work for this woman any more. Only time will tell.

The good part is that I have a lot of diversions other than work going on. You know the little and big things in life: the house, Tim, travel, and trying to relax. I finally got my mountain bike tuned up and it’s ready to roll. Now that the weather in getting cooler I can enjoy it once again. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a story to tell about the biking adventures around Phoenix? More to come….

More Than Meets The Eye.

2006-08-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

Transformers

I am so excited about the live action film “Transformers”. I remember these little robots from the 1980’s in my adolescence years. I’m actually not shocked, at all, with the studios remaking this cartoon into a live action film (I mean, come on, they remade the Flintstones for god sakes!). Either case, it should make for some interesting fun in the summer of 2007. Here’s the teaser trailer for Transformers. I also found this gem of a commercial that uses some of the same graphic technology as the upcoming movie. Looks like the movie should be ultra cool.

Speaking of transformers, the house is slowly transforming into a great gem of a house. Little improvements here and there are all now starting to show great visual effects. Outside I’ve resorted to mostly cactus and succulents. And, believe it or not nothing has died. In fact, with the recent rain we’ve gotten they are actually growing! Who knew?

On the job front, well, that couldn’t be more disappointing. Well, as I expected my new boss, went back on her promise of promotion and stuck me with more work and more responsibility. All of this without a title change or even an increase in pay. She’s a total bitch, plain and simple. But, if all goes well, she will be fired within the near future. I’ve been told she is being investigated for some naughty things at the company. (It rhymes with “bugs and shlal-cohol” and hexual carbassment”) Yes, believe it or not. So maybe I’ll just take her job once she leaves. What a messed up bitch.

On the Tim front, things couldn’t be better. He’s playing volleyball again. This is a huge thing for Tim. He’s competitive. And volleyball is his way of kicking some major ass in the competitive front. (Did I mention that volleyball players are way sexy too?).

More too come. Been busy with work travel….you name it, I’ve probably been there: San Francisco, Colorado Springs, Minneapolis, Portland, San Diego, and looks like I might be going to, (gulp) Des Moines. I feel sometimes like I live in San Fran…..the people at the hotel I stay at know me by my first name. Oiy.

Everyone Does IT....

2006-07-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone Does it...

Birds do it, bees do it, even Boston beans do it…..Yes, and you know what I am talking about: sex. So why is it that so many people are uptight about talking about sex? Point in case: This absolutely wonderful commercial in Australia. Nissan took the bold steps to make a fun commercial for its Tiida car starring Kim Cattrall from Sex And The City. If anyone knows me, they know that I totally love and identify with Kim’s character in Sex And The City….god love her. So you can imagine how I found this commercial intensely fun to watch.

Unfortunately this commercial was pulled from many stations in Australia and New Zealand. Don’t even think about it showing here in the conservative, religious-right, Focus on Everyone’s Family, wacked-out United States. It’s funny, after you watch the commercial and really digest it, it’s really not that bad. Yes, it’s suggestive, but it’s not out of line…no more than bikini clad blondes opening up a bottle of beer, or Paris Hilton with a Carl’s Jr. Hamburger. So why is it that people are so uptight about sex?

Here’s my theory. I propose that these people are just not getting any, and because of it are too sexually frustrated to watch anything with a hint of sex. You know those people…the ones hiding behind that Bible, or are so uncomfortable about themselves that they blame other people for their shortcomings. We’re all human and we all have an instinctual need for sex….so why deny it? (As long as it’s done in a non-destructive way.) Our culture discourages sex. Discouraging something we all do. Just like masturbation. Which then leads to discouraging self-expression, free speech, and the pursuit of happiness. Not very American is it?

Who are these people that actually call up the television stations and complain? If I were the switchboard operator here’s what I would say:

Ed: “Thank you for calling Channel 3, how can I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, I’d like to complain on the Nissan ad.”
Ed: “What seems to be the problem?”
Caller: “It’s offending, and sexually explicit!”
Ed: “What exactly is it that you find offending?”
Caller: “Um well…she’s suggesting she’s aroused by driving the car.”
Ed: “Ok…so can you give me more detail?”
Caller: “Well…she’s sexually enjoying the ride…if you know what I mean.”
Ed: “Actually I don’t, could you be more descriptive?”
Caller: “Excuse me? It’s obvious she’s sexually aroused by the car!”
Ed: “Are you sexually aroused by this car?”
Caller: “What? No!”
Ed: “Do cars sexually arouse you? Do you find them seductive?”
Caller: “Um No!”
Ed: “What kind of car do you drive?”
Caller: “Excuse me? What does that have to do with this complaint?”
Ed: “Ma’am I’m just trying to get as much information as possible.”
Caller: “A Ford Taurus. I don’t see why you need to know that.”
Ed: “Actually miss, you drive a boring car, so I assume you haven’t been laid in awhile, there fore you must find this commercial offensive.”
Caller: “What!!??.”
Ed: “Yea…..so I suggest you just get over it, trade your Taurus in for a convertible, and try masturbation. It works wonders.”
Caller: “Excuse me!!?”
Ed: “Um yea…..so just get over it. Bub-bye.”

God, I wish I could do that.

So, after you watch the commercial again (which I know you’ll do), think about how offending it is. Is it that bad? Or, how about we show commercials that show real people crashing in Volkswagens (scare tactic), or show the expanding cotton in a tampon (just downright gross), or how about even those political slur ads with the upcoming elections in November (no ethics)? Yes, there are a lot of “offending” things in the world. But an ad like this is no where near as offending as the things the actually do get through.

Something to think about….

PS: Here's the even longer version of the commercial. FABULOUS.

The Oh "From" Ohio....

2006-07-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

Liza helping Parker "find" herself.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It was a jammed packed fun filled weekend. Tim and I had a couple of our close friends over to help us break in our new home. It was a smashing success that ended up with everybody in the pool and more liquor consumed than an Irish funeral. What more could you ask for in a housewarming?

Aside from the party, I came across the best movie trailer of a movie that looks absolutely awesome. The movie is called “The Oh In Ohio”, and it stars one of my favorite actors: Parker Posie. I remember that they were filming this movie back home in Cleveland, Ohio some time back. I got calls from my family and friends back in Cleveland saying that Parker Posie was in town and she was asking for me. (Well, actually that’s not true, but how fun would it be to have the original “Party Girl” say something to that effect?...but I digress…) It also stars gay-icon Liza Minelli, and a slew of other A, B and C-List stars. What makes it great is that it is filmed in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio….and from the trailer looks pretty darn true to the look and feel of the city. So I’m all excited to see the movie until I look at when the general release is.

Why is it that when a movie comes out that I really want to see, it always has limited release in cities far, far away? For god sakes, it opened in Cleveland. (Well, I guess that’s a given since the movie happens in Cleveland.) But still, Phoenix will not see this movie in some time according to the movie website. Sigh. I feel like I am living my Brokeback Mountain drama all over again. I guess I will have to see it on my next trip to San Francisco this month.

The Oh in Ohio Movie trailer.

Things that don’t die.

2006-07-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

Gotta love my Saguaro.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s amazing how things tend to not go as planned. Case in point: plants. The past couple weeks I have been busy planting in the front and back gardens. I had this grand idea that I would have all of these really cool plants, lots of color and things that would last throughout the year. I ventured to Home Depot and Lowes to find such flora that would survive the absolutely brutal desert climate. I dragged Tim with me to have a second set of eyes (and well, he lives here too…so he needs to be involved in the process, of course).

I read every damn label, instructions, tag, and even asked the “oh-so-informative” garden associate (that was way sarcastic). I bought plants that would flourish in the direct sun, heat and dry climate here in AZ. I watered, watered, and watered again (but not too much). And, of course, the beautiful flowers died. The only things that survived were the cacti and succulents that I planted along side the flowers. So, now I am just going to throw my hands up and plant more cacti and be done with it. The good part is that I am very happy with the cacti and succulents because they last and some of them do bloom now and then. Quite frankly, it’s nice to plant things that don’t die…..and in the long run, I’m sure I’ll be happier.

Which got me thinking. Plants are a lot like relationships. Just replace the flowers with all your ex-relationships, and substitute the cactus with the one you really do love. Sure things get thorny now and then, but that cactus can weather a hell of a lot and still survive. And if your lucky, it blooms with some really awesome flowers that rival any other plants.

So here I am, watering my plants and having a Zen moment. (These moments tend to hit me at the weirdest times….watering plants, on the toilet, driving on the freeway, watching Star Trek….you know what I mean…). That’s when I smiled and saw Tim….he’s one hell of a Saguaro. Oh and by the way this is him: TIM.

*happy sigh*

A Couple things before I go for the weekend…I am absolutely obsessed with the new album by Connie Bailey Rae. It’s a wonderful CD that is perfect for a lazy Sunday Morning reading the paper in the sun. (Thanks to Lady Miss Elle for putting the song “Put Your Records On” on her fab blog….) I think this is my favorite new music of the year so far.

Also, I tried a new look for the blog….something different, and a little brighter. More fun to come….

What the World needs right now is….

2006-07-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

A Strong Black Woman. That’s right, a bone-fide, straight from the inner city ghetto, all-American, “bitch get out of my way” black woman. (Not to be confused with the pervious post concerning Star Jones, she is an annoying black woman.) What makes me bring this to the blog today? To be honest, it’s all of this news on North Korea, actually. It’s amazing that a little country like North Korea can make such an impact on the political scene. Hurling defunct missiles into the Sea of Japan does make a political splash. Although I have to admit, knowing that they could possibly put nuclear warheads on top of those defunct missiles and potentially send one our way is a bit unnerving. Also, the pictures of the North Korean leader are particularly annoying. He looks like the kid who got beat up at school, and now has a “Dr. Evil from Austin Powers” ego, and now is going to get back at the world for stealing his lunch money. Point in case, the picture on this post.

As to such, I propose that we do an American Idol type search for America’s Strongest Black Woman. Let’s find the biggest, baddest most ghetto diva and send her right over to Pyongyang to bitch slap Kim Jong-il with some big ol’ long duc dong. Now, seriously you know that such a strong woman would not put up with these political games. She’d tell it like it is and tell it straight up! (okaay?) Unfortunately, we have Condi Rice as America’s strong black woman. (I absolutely love the photos on CNN of her, they always show her scowling or in a “pouty pose”)

Although she has the “Don’t fuck with me fellas” look, Condi is a far cry from a strong black woman. Just think of it…we get the top 10 finalists in the Strong Black Woman Idol competition and we send them over to the World’s hot spots in a convoy of Cadillac Escalades with a simple message: “Don’t fuck with us, or will kick your nappy ass.” We’ll even throw in Martha Wash to sing a battle charge as the convoy approaches. There is no escape from the scorn of a strong black woman.

Of course, if the resistance to the Strong Black Woman Convoy fails, well, they you just pissed off 10 Strong Black Women. Now, the convoy turns into 10 Angry Black Women, and well, you just as well should consider the place nuked.

In either case, when you sit back and look at the world, it’s a pretty crazy place. From Iraq to North Korea, from Global Warming to Gas Guzzling SUV’s…..there’s no one single solution. But, throw it a strong black woman and it’ll be much more interesting to watch!

Star-Fangled View

2006-06-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

Big Fat Star Jones
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Why is it that, at times, we are drawn to the stupidest things? I don’t think I’ll ever have the answer to that, but recently, I have been absolutely drawn to a really stupid thing: Star Jones. Gosh, I really despise that woman. So, knowing that, I was pleasantly surprised by her recent departure from The View. But, I was even MORE pleasantly surprised by the abrupt dismissal of her sorry ass the next day from the show.

If you know anything about Star Jones, you surely must know she is one of the most self-absorbed women on television. From her dramatic weight loss and her outright denial that the gastric bypass surgery had anything to do with it, to her absolutely insane self promoting wedding to her banker hubby. Anyone who looks for sponsors for a wedding as if it were the Superbowl looking for advertising space, is a little self-absorbed. What pissed me off about her the most were her obviously anti-gay remarks she made on The View, which honestly turned me off to the show from the get-go. She also had this “holier than thou” attitude. And, of course, she always played the victimized “black woman” and how she was the voice of “the people” on the show. (Now honestly, how victimized could a rich corporate lawyer be?).

Anyway, I was happy to see that she was booted off the show. It was about time. I guess she’ll have to resort to schlepping shoes for Payless Shoes (which of course, she would never buy from. I wonder if the geniuses at Payless know that?) I personally think Rosie O’Donnell had a hand in the whole thing, and if she did, THANK YOU. This is one star I’d be happy to see extinguished.

On a lighter and more positive note, I came across a video from MSNBC.com with Keith Olbermann. He has this wonderful habit of making fun of Bill O’Riely. If you know me, you know that I hate, yes, hate, Bill O’Riley. (Almost as much as Ann Coulter…the ultra-conservative she-male.) The man is pure evil and doesn’t have a problem spreading messages of hate. Anyway, check this link out on Keith addressing Bill on his recent remarks. Way to go Keith!<br />

Happy Fourth of July! I thought I would wish you all a little early! Tim and I have plans for absolutely nothing but working on the house this long upcoming weekend! I am taking some pictures of Tim and me this weekend, so I PROMISE to have a pic of him on here soon. Sometimes you have to wait for the good things!

The Future (with some updates….)

2006-06-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

$200k ticket outta here.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s been slow at work. Yes, believe it or not, it gets slow (now and then) here in the wonderful world of Human Resources. But that’s a good thing considering that I have a ton of work to do on the house. Slow times allow me to take longer lunches for the gym, trips to Home Depot, and even some telecommuting from home. Got to love it. But like many of you, when it is slow at work I do what most people do: surf the net. So, I though I would post a couple of sites I came across that really makes one think about the future. You know, that George Jetson, pleeping flying car, moving side walks, moon base kinda future. So here’s some REAL legitimate websites of the not-so-distant future.

DestinyUSA.com: When one thinks of shopping you think of the cities that offer the most: Paris, New York, Chicago, London, Los Angeles, and Syracuse. What? (Did he just say Syracuse?) Well, if developers have their way, Syracuse will be the next shopping Mecca. I came across this site by accident. When I dove deeper in the site I was absolutely amazed at what these developers are trying to do. Hotels, Shopping, Restaurants, and Entertainment all enclosed in a huge habitat that is energy efficient, self-sustaining and greener than Kermit the Frog in a Hybrid SUV. The architecture of the place is pretty wild as well. Think of an extreme makeover for your local mall. Definitely a cool vision of shopping in the future.

VirginGalactic.com: Now, who wouldn’t want a trip to outer space? Well, now you can put it on your upcoming Christmas list right next to that Prada sweater. And I know all of you have an extra $200,000 to go. Yikes, that is a lot, but it’s awesome that Richard Branson is actually going through with putting “normal” people in space through this new company. I’m sure prices will come down (or at least I hope they would), but for now I’m sticking to a 737 with a bag of peanuts. (Hmm…I wonder what it takes to get into the 200 mile high club?)

Burj-Al-Arab.com: Sexy, sleek, and over the top. This hotel is simply gorgeous and is just the start of a number of Extreme Hotels being built in Dubai. “Designed to resemble a billowing sail, the hotel soars to a height of 321 metres, dominating the Dubai coastline. At night, it offers an unforgettable sight, surrounded by choreographed colour sculptures of water and fire. This all-suite hotel reflects the finest that the world has to offer.” How cool is that? What’s even more amazing is that even crazier hotels are currently in construction. Actually makes one consider going over to the insane Middle East to check the scene out. Now, only if we could get more hotels like that here stateside.

Now, for some updates.
1. Got passed up on a promotion at work, and am really bummed about it. But, I still have a job and it could lead to better opportunity down the road.
2. I hope to plan on posting a picture of Tim and me soon. Yes, he’s hot. (For those of you who want to know.)
3. The house is slowly coming along…and we hope to have a house warming party in July some time. I plan on painting the house over the next week. (God help me.)
4. I plan on posting some insightful topics in the near future. Been hard to blog with so much going on.

That’s about it….more to come…

Diamond in the rough....

2006-06-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

This little gem.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Just a short post to let you all know its been friggin’ CRAZY the past couple weeks. Tim and I finally moved into our new home. Here are a couple things to keep you thinking until I can post next:

1. Never move when it’s 110 degrees Fahrenheit outside.
2. Good plumbers are a godsend.
3. 3 Day Blinds installers like to smash windows..thank god they are insured.
4. Having tons of gay neighbors is fabulous…they all came over to say hi on our move in day....very Desperate Housewives.
5. The Summer Sale at IKEA helps out greatly.
6. I hate hex wrenches.
7. Your first time using Flood Irrigation for the yard is a scary, scary experience.
8. I am so glad and happy I own a home.

More to come…stay tuned!!!!

The Best Dressed

2006-05-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

Marge is sure to get laid in THIS outfit.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m in San Francisco this week for work. I really enjoy SF. One thing that always impresses me is the fact that people here are really well-dressed. All the men and all the women dress fashionably and impeccably. It doesn’t matter if they are going to work or the gym, people here really know how to dress and do it well. Another thing that amazes me is that they are always prepared when the weather changes. If the temperature drops by 2 degrees, “poof” they have a hooded pull-over or Prada windbreaker. If rain starts to fall, “poof” they have a Dior umbrella or a Columbia Rain Parka. It’s simply amazing. Be it a backpack, “manbag”, side saddle, or those adorable Kate Spade purses, people in SF seem to pull a plethora of couture fashion magically out of their bag. Only New York gives this city a run for the money when it comes to good looking, fit and well dressed people. It’s like walking in a Banana Republic or Nordstrom’s catalog. God, I love this city.

I’m also here in the Bay Area to interview for a potential promotion at work. I had a long discussion with the Boss from Hell and she finally came to the realization that I was the only one left standing after all of 8 resignations. (Yes, I used it to my advantage and now am interviewing for a promotion…hey, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. Okaaay?) Now, it’s just a “wait and see” situation here at work. The interviews went well, and I hope to find out soon.

This morning though I had an absolutely crazy experience getting my cup of Starbucks. As I was waiting in line for my Non-Fat latte I noticed behind me there was a really beautiful guy waiting for his morning cup of Joe. This guy was stunning. 6’2, brown hair, ice blue eyes, exceptionally muscular build, form fitting white polo top with khakis, chiseled features…the guy was straight off the cover of Men’s Fitness. He was getting looks from EVERYBODY: women, men, even the floral arrangements were tilting his way. I could sense all eyes on him.

As we were standing there, another equally hot guy was walking towards and entered the Starbucks to get his morning cup of ambition. He had to be 6 foot, brown hair, green eyes, perfect muscular build, dressed in a business suit (probably Hugo Boss), perfect smile, tan, and could be a runway model on his worst hair day. There was so much “good looking” in the room that people were getting nervous and fidgety…as if the caffeine from the coffee didn’t do that already. Then it hit: When I realized I was in SF and when my masculine fantasy ended. The two saw each other, and….

Guy One: (eyes wide and surprised with a high pitched gasp) “Guuurl..what are YOU doing here!”

Guy Two: “Oh hey princess! (exchange pecks on each cheek) Augh, it’s been a rough day…I broke up with Stephen and I need to find a job!”

Guy One: “You finally ditched your sugar daddy. No more Paris Hilton for you. Aww…come here peaches!” (hugs)
Guy Two: “I know…but I totally went on a shopping spree with his AmEx Platinum card and got me some fierce clothes and this fabulous suit….don’t I look fierce!??”

Guy One: “You look incredible. You GO GURL!”

I barely dodged the pearls, sparkles, and shimmers that were flying through the air. The people around me were just as amazed as well. The two Asian girls in front of me whispered into each other’s ears and giggled. The Starbuck barista rolled his eyes and the floral arrangements started to wilt. (As did many other things). Never fails, they always look hot until a purse falls out of their mouth. Sigh. (Thank God I have Tim.)

I fly back tonight, where I look forward to a quiet night at home with Tim. Who knows, maybe I’ll get upgraded to First Class. If not, I’ve always got next week. We’re both going to SF again for Memorial Day weekend. Tim is really looking forward to it. But I’ll have to remind him to pack accordingly. (Not that it will be difficult for Tim…he always looks good.)

Oh, The Places You’ll Go….

2006-05-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

On the Edge
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

There’s nothing like a big hole in the middle of nowhere. Yep, that’s right a big ol’ hole in the middle of the barren desert. (Well, it’s actually cooler than it sounds) This past weekend Tim and I decided to tour some of the wonderful tourist sites here in the great state of Arizona. Believe it or not, there’s a heck of a lot to see out here in the desert Southwest. So here’s the four destinations we visited in 48 hours last weekend. (Yes, we hauled ass all over the state).

Meteor Crater, Arizona: Four score and 50 thousand years ago, a big ball of metal fell from the sky and slammed into the earth at roughly 40,000 miles per hour. What was left was a big meteor crater and a subway sandwich shop. (Well, ok….the Subway was added later down the road, but it’s quite amazing where you’ll find a Subway now-a-days, let alone a Starbucks.) After watching the Discovery Channel one day, I was immediately interested in going to visit this strange place. So, we ventured up to see the huge crater and were honestly quite impressed. In the photographs it looks big, but until you see it for yourself, it’s hard to imagine the sheer force of the meteorite slamming into the ground. You may remember seeing the Meteor Crater in the movie “Starman” with Jeff Bridges. Well, fortunately there were no alien ships descending down on us that day, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any odd people there. Including Jolene who worked at the Subway shop at the visitor center, shlopping 6” Meteorite Subs for $2.99. (Which actually were just the $2.99 6” meatball subs…..very clever.) Tim and I laughed on the way out imagining Jolene saying to her friends (in a hick Texan accent) “I wurk at the Subwaay, at dem there Meteor Crayter” The place is interesting to see, though. I would pass on the Meteorite Sub, and go for a cool postcard at the gift shop instead.

Petrified Forest National Park: OK, first thing’s first: There are NO trees in this forest. In fact, there’s barely any vegetation at all. But, there are plenty of petrified tree trucks strewn all over the place. The neat freak in me came out and made me think “Geez…someone really needs to pick up after themselves!” It’s another pretty barren place, but it did have some interesting things to see like the petrified tree trunks, prehistoric wall paintings, and the lunar-like mounds of dirt. It’s definitely a wild place. It was quite peaceful. That is, until a tour bus the size of a football field pulled up and dropped off 3,000 senior citizens all with cataracts and hearing aids with low batteries. “Wha? Huh? Harold! Can you see that! Wha? Huh? My walker won’t make it up there! Shirley did you take your pills? Ohh! What? Huh?!” This went on for a number of minutes before I looked at Tim and we headed back to the car and drove our way to Flagstaff. On the way there we stopped at the Painted Desert which was quite nice.

Flagstaff, Arizona: We spent the night in Flagstaff which is a really cool town. Being that the town itself is at an elevation over 7,000 feet, it was much colder than the surrounding desert. Flagstaff is place where you feel like you should be walking around in ski boots carrying a snowboard. It’s so radically different from the rest of Arizona. You feel like you are in Colorado or Idaho in the mountains. There was still snow on top of the San Francisco Peaks which made for a nice backdrop. We had the best dinner I had ALL DAY at the Olive Garden. (That was sarcastic) We were hungry….starving actually…and it was there. That’s why we ate at America’s most sub-standard Italian restaurant.

Grand Canyon, Arizona: If you never been to the Grand Canyon, you really need to go. It’s quite a sight to see. We got up early on Sunday and drove to the Grand Canyon from Flagstaff and made it record time (less than an hour) with absolutely no traffic. We literally pulled right up to the park entrance and paid the $20 entrance fee with no wait at all. We spent approximately 10 hours at the Canyon, hiking the trails, taking pictures, enjoying the views and trying to translate what people were saying. There was absolutely no one (except us) from the United States. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you’d be hard pressed to find someone who spoke English and was from the US. The Grand Canyon really is an amazing place. The pictures you can take there are simply amazing…that is, unless The Great Wall of China is blocking your view. (The Great Wall is not actually in Arizona, but a huge crowd of Asian tourists lining along the rim of the Grand Canyon blocking your view, is. Hence, what I like to call the “other” Great Wall of China.)

Overall, we had a great time and a lot of fun. It was a great stress reliever for me as I’m closing on the new house in a couple of weeks. By Memorial Day, I’ll be a proud homeowner….and all the fun (and stress) that goes along with it. Arizona is a beautiful state. I’m happy that I am finally getting to enjoy it.

Push My Buttons.

2006-04-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

The seductive Easy Button.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s been a crazy and rough past couple of weeks. Although most of the stuff has been good news it’s still quite a stressful time in my life. Lots of change and unexpected crap that just pops up. So, to my delight I found my solution to the trials of life by watching a Staples commercial. Yes, a Staples commercial. Their new ad campaign centers on a device called the Easy Button.

Whether you’ve seen it or not, the idea is quite simple. The device is a big red plastic button with the word “Easy” on it. It can be placed almost anywhere, on a desk, on a table, on a car dashboard….it can be picked up, it can be put down. You could even glue it to your forehead if you really wanted to stand out. But what makes this device so magical is the powers that it commands. When things get tough, press the easy button.

So I was excited to see that Staples has actually mass-produced the Easy Button for purchase at their stores. I, of course, bought one and brought it back to the office to see if it really worked. I put it right next to my phone, as that is where the bulk of my work stress comes from. As I looked at the big red button, I thought of all the use this darn thing would get:

Complicated employee relations issues? Click.
Sexual Harassment suits? Click.
High Prices at the gas pump? Click.
Stress with the new house? Click.
Bad Women Drivers? Click.
The idiot at Starbucks who can’t make up their mind in front of me in line? Click.
The Iran nuclear Program? Click.
Doing my taxes? Click.
Al Qeada? Click.
Painting the House? Click.
The 2008 Presidential election? Click. Click. Click.

The possibilities are just endless. But as the work stress came rolling in, and I pressing the Easy Button, nothing really happened. To my dismay this big red button was nothing more that a Madison Avenue ploy to purchase a piece of plastic made in China for $4.99. Big bummer. My dreams of “Gosh, it’s so hard to get my favorite porn stars to come over. Click.” are now gone. (Really big bummer.) Now, the Easy Button sits next to the company logo stress ball and the penholder with pens I never use. The magic was gone, then enchantment faded, and the word “Easy” really meant “Dreaming”.

So, then I though what mythical “other” buttons would be fun to have (and work of course.) So here’s a couple other “Buttons” that would be fun to have.

SLEAZY. (For those really prude people)
MUTE. (For those people you just want to shut up.)
LIFE. (For people who need to get one.)
PRETTY. (When you want to “pretty up” things, places or even people)
AA. (For the drunk people at bars.)
CLOTHES OFF. (For those times when you just wish the other person would.)
CALGON (When you just wish Calgon would just take you awaaaaaaaaay.)
MONEY. (Got to have this one.)

Again, the list can go on forever. But it’s nice to dream, isn’t it?

Gosh, I'm Tired!

2006-04-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

SOLD!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Yup, that’s right it’s been a crazy last couple of weeks…and quite frankly I’m tired. The good news is that good things are happening. (Knock on wood.) I am buying a house. Yes, I am finally taking the leap into home ownership. Made an offer on a house last week and it’s going through. I’m happy I found a house within Central Phoenix in a good neighborhood. (Not to mention a relatively good price) Now, I’m just getting exited looking for things like a washer and dryer, shades, and what color I plan on painting the house. Tim is already lining up us buying a chocolate lab puppy when the house closes and we move in. Yes, we’re excited. Did I mention is has a pool too?

On the job front, the evil boss situation is turning out to work in my favor. I had an offer from another division in my company. As it turns out, the powers that be slapped my evil boss hard on all of the retention problems in her department. Because of this she came back with a sweet offer for a rather large promotion to keep me. Needless to say, she made me an offer I could not refuse. We’re working through the details and the promotion will be in place by May 15th. I figure I could definitely use the promotion and I’ll only have limited interaction with her in the new position. A win-win situation none the less.

So now it’s just trying to keep up with the house and work situation. This weekend should hopefully be a relaxing one. I’ll have more time to post then….and give you some insight on some insightful topics.

Turning off the Cruise Control.

2006-04-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

Tom Cruise, South Park style.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I have to admit, the creators of South Park are absolute geniuses. If you haven’t seen the episode “Trapped In the Closet”, then you are missing some of the best humor on TV. What strikes me the most is the fact that I cannot stand Tom Cruise. I could care less about the guy. Unfortunately, when ever I turn on the TV, glance over at the Tabloids in the checkout isle, or read the Life section of the newspaper, his name and face are all over the place. And that’s when I ask myself: “Who the hell cares?”

I think one of the reasons why I don’t like Tom Cruise is because he represents everything I hate about Hollywood and American entertainment culture. Why are people obsessed with this guy? I used to work in the entertainment industry in the mid 90s and we had a word for these groupies: Starfuckers. Augh, I just love that word. It so captures the nature of these people. So what’s the deal with Tom Cruise? Here’s a couple of my perceptions of why I believe he’s a total wacko.

Tom Cruise is gay. I mean, really, come on….think about it. If you do a google search on “Tom Cruse Gay” you get over 7,080,000 results. That’s a heck of a lot. It’s full of rumors, eye witness accounts and factual sightings of “less than hetero” activities. Although I, personally, cannot prove a thing, I believe this guy is one of the biggest closeted moes out there. And, if that’s true, he’s living one big lie. And THAT pisses me off. Of course, he’s “straight until proven gay”, but have you ever gotten in a conversation about how “straight” Tom Cruise is?

Tom Cruise is a wack job. Tom’s behavior publicly has not been what one would say is “normal”, even for Hollywood standards. Maybe it’s the Christian Scientology, maybe it’s the suppressed homosexual inside, maybe it’s all of the flash bulbs triggering a type of behavioral seizure; either case jumping on couches isn’t normal. (Yes, Tom, your overly excited about Katie…..stop trying to prove you are straight….it’s not working.)

Tom Cruise is a horrible actor. Let’s be honest…do you see Academy Award in is credentials? Not so much. He’s a typical type casted actor that has no real ability to act. He’s up there with Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwartzenagger. But, yet he’s still one of Hollywood highest paid stars, go figure.

Tom Cruise is hurting people. Proof in point is his outspoken words against aint-depressants. Again, call it the brainwashing of the Christian Scientology cult, but anyone who would tell people not to take prescribed medications without knowing background, or medical history of people taking them, is just out to get publicity. I know many people who are on anti-depressants whose life has changed for the better because of them. Tom doesn’t know them, thank god. Maybe if he took them he’d be in a better place too. Belief or not, he’s got a social responsibility with star power and he’s abusing it for his own personal gain.

Which brings me back to South Park. I have to give credit to South Park for calling the cards on Tom Cruise. Of course, everything is fictitious, a satire, even. But, the fact remains that Mr. Cruise is a total wack job. What amazes me, though, is that he still has legions of fans that would do anything, and I mean anything, to be near him, get his autograph, or shake his hand. Sorta reminds me of Michael Jackson. And THAT’s when it starts getting scary.

Immigration & Starbucks

2006-04-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Come one, come all. Just play by the rules.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God love coffee. It wakes me up, keeps me going, and makes me happy. All is good with a warm cup of coffee. Be it Starbucks or Dean & Deluca (which is way superior to the former) it always brings a smile to my face and makes me feel good inside. That is, unless your way to Starbucks is blocked by 50,000 immigration protesters. (record scratch).

“What the, who the? Immigration reform? Are these people crazy? Do they even speak English? Get the hell out of my way…..my cup of happiness is awaiting!” Here in Phoenix, as well as many other major cities in the US, the political landscape is all abuzz on immigration reform. But unlike the media and political buzz, most of the 300 million Americans don’t have a clue about, or even care, what everyone is up in arms for. So, I asked myself about what I believe this stuff is all about, and what I believe most Americans would say about immigration reform. I asked a couple people in my office about it and got a myriad of answers. “I have no idea what its all about.” “Send those illegals back home!” “The system is so f’d up I don’t know what anything is about.” “Augh, another march? Are you kidding me?” .

The sad truth is most Americans don’t really care about immigration reform. The usual “How does this affect me?” question kicks in. And since no one knows, they just don’t care. So I thought to myself, what is immigration reform to me? And I thought to myself here’s what I believe in regards to immigration:

1. Immigration should be like abortion: legal and safe.
2. In order to vote, you need to be an American. (Born here, naturalized, or be a registered citizen). It’s a right of the American People, not the world.
3. In order to receive public services, you need to be a tax paying contributor to the US. We can’t even pay for our OWN poor people, so why are we paying for other country’s people? Emergency/Police Services (like ambulance service) should be exempt for this.
4. If you want to work here or live here, you’ve got to play by the rules. People need to register with the Federal and State government. The process should be easy, safe and should address national security issues.
5. I don’t believe it should be a felony to be here illegally. BUT, I do believe that if you are here illegally, you need to either register or be deported. If you refuse to play by the rules, then you should leave. Try Canada. (No offense to Canadians.)
6. Although Spanish is great to know, our main language here is English. Please, at least, try to learn it. And your protest signs should be in English too….makes a bigger impact if people can read it.
7. If you continually break the rules, you should go to jail or not be allowed back into the country.
8. Protest marches should not block my way to Starbucks.

That’s about it. Pretty simple. Of course there are plenty of other issues that I don’t know about. Why? Because that question kicks in again “How does it affect me?”. And because of that question most Americans don’t care. It’s my country, and if you want to move here, then go through the motions. If not, why not work on making your own country better? Yea, it’s pretty sad. So immigration reform? Sure, I’m all for it. As long as people wishing to immigrate here play by the rules and don’t’ block my way to a cup of coffee. Then I’ll just get mad.

Hybrid Hysteria

2006-04-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

Not Quite Yet.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s amazing how hyped up hybrid cars are now a days. Just think, a very few short years ago, no one would know what you were talking about. Now it seems the word “hybrid” is mentioned in every car commercial, political conversation and Hollywood interview. Yes, America is obsessed with hybrid automobiles and the perception that they alone are saving the country, and the world, from the evil dependence to foreign oil. Oh yes, and saving the environment too….can’t forget that.

I personally know 3 people who own hybrids. I’ll agree that their Toyota Priuses are quite nice…neat even. Push the button, flip a lever and off you go…sipping gas and expelling “look at me, I’m saving the world from evil” right out of their chrome plated tail pipes. All of them bought hybrids for the right reasons and economically it made sense for them. And yes, they look fabulously eco-chic. They love their piece of the automotive future. The only thing missing is the “pleeeeeeep” that the infamous Jetson’s family car made.

But what I find amazing is that although hybrids ARE better than their gasoline counterparts, they are only MARGINALLY better. So I decided to be a good little blogger and actually look at the numbers behind some of the most popular hybrids. When looking at the EPA MPG’s, I decided to really only consider the low numbers in their calculations. Let’s be honest, the high mileage per gallon numbers are in the absolute right conditions and are an estimate. You can’t really guarantee perfect conditions on the road, especially here in Phoenix with construction, traffic and accidents. BUT, you should be able to hold true the bottom number. So, without further adieu:

Escape Hybrid SUV: 36 city/31 highway
Toyota Prius: 60 city/51 highway
Toyota Hylander Hybrid: 33 city/30 highway
Lexus RX400h: 31 city/27 highway
Lexus GSh (2007): 30 city/26 highway
Honda Accord Hybrid: 25 city/34 highway
Honda Civic Hybrid: 49 city/51 highway
Honda Insight: 60 city/66 highway (The best of the bunch)

Ok, yes at first glance they look like pretty good numbers right? Well, consider that these cars are NOT hybrid, but rather all gasoline, normal cars:

VW Golf Diesel: 37 city/44 highway
VW Beetle Diesel: 37 city/44 highway
Toyota Matrix/Pontiac Vibe: 30 city/36 highway
Honda Civic: 30 city/40 highway
Hyundai Accent 32 city/35 highway
Acura TL 20 city/29 highway (I clocked my car getting 31mpg at times)
Toyota Rav4: 24 city/30 highway

So when you really look at it…although the numbers ARE better for hybrids, you have to admit, it’s not a HUGE difference. Which brings me to one of the points of this post: Why is it that we can go to the moon, put 10,000 songs in our pocket, and even make hundreds of thousands of Twinkies an hour, but yet we cannot make a car that gets 100mpg? People are raving about not having to fill up their hybrid after 400 miles. Shouldn’t normal cars do that? I find that odd. One thing to clarify: I think hybrids are a great idea…and quite frankly I would get one. But, governments and auto manufacturers need to really do what they need to do: Make cars go farther on gas, or really stand behind alternative fuels, like hydrogen. (By the way did you know that 2/3rds of all matter in the known universe is hydrogen? Hmmm….don’t really see a hydrogen shortage anytime soon, do you?)

Anyway, as much as we all love those nifty hybrids, here’s another thing to consider: “Do you know any people who drive hybrids who make UNDER $30k?” Nope…not me. You’d figure that hybrids would be the perfect solution for middle America, let alone the booming population of China. Because hybrids are targeted for the upper economic social ranks, the cost of a hybrid is, at most times, out of reach for most people. Can you justify the $3000-$6000 price premium on top of the regular car price? Nope, I wouldn’t really want to do that either. Because of this, hybrids will NOT drop in price anytime soon. Boy, Lindsay Loham, Brad Pitt and Salma Hayak sure look fabulous in those shiny hybrids. (Too bad they also all drive big SUVs too….sorta cancels out the point, doesn’t it?) Is saving the planet and reducing our dependence on foreign oil only for the chosen few?

So, next time your zipping along on the freeway and you pass that hybrid, think to yourself: Who are we kidding? Yes, it’s a step…a baby step. But, until perceptions change, governments change, and auto manufacturers change, hybrids are no more than regular cars, with marginally better mileage and a huge “cool” factor to them. Yes, it looks like the future is on the horizon….but the wait is going to be a little longer than expected.

Choice Stops on The Information Superhighway.

2006-03-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

Oh, the things you'll find on the web...
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God love days off. Sometimes, you just got to take a day off from work. Call it vacation, PTO, personal day, or even a “mental day”…sometimes you just got to let go and let the monkeys fend for themselves. Plus with all of the drama going on at work it felt good to just sleep in and let the place burn down in a fiery inferno.

So, aside from running all of the errands today, which included cleaning, tanning, haircut, dry cleaning, grocery shopping, car wash and the gym, I surfed the net and came across some absolutely interesting websites along with some newly downloaded music. But this post I’ll discuss some of the finer “pull-offs” of the world wide web.

Our first stop is at a wonderful website called FUH2.COM. I absolutely hate and despise Hummers. They are nothing more than supporting the nation’s addiction to oil. Who, honestly, needs a big hulking tank of a car? Here in Phoenix, they are synonymous with little blonde rich Scottsdale 34DD plastic surgery soccer moms that have nothing better to do that shop. Augh. What a waste. But I did find this site humorous as it’s very fun to read, and brings one to “awe” with America’s obsession with excessive SUV’s. I’m mean, really, Hummer’s are so freakin’ stupid.

Next stop on the wonderful web is t-shirtsthatsuck.com. Now, I am not into those cutsie t-shirts that everyone buys at Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister. In fact the guys that wear those t-shirts usually fit that certain stereotype of “got to be seen”….you know, the way too tight, disco ball, tweaker type. But, I have to admit these t-shirts are just down right hysterical. My favorites are “Sup-Fool”, “Fat kids are harder to kidnap.”, and “Where my Bitches At?”. Now you all know where to get my birthday gifts. (July 5th).

No gay web site browsing experience is complete without visiting danoramaproductions.com. Quite simply, the gayest place on the web. And you ALL know it’s fab. Ok, ok….it’s WAY gay, but way fun to click through. Check out all the Cher stuff. By the time your done…you’ll be using all those “ous” adjectives. Such as: illustrious, glamorous, fabulous, and sparkle double Dutch delicious. Yea, it’s that gay.

Finally, speaking of birthday gift ideas, why not give the gift that keeps on giving? Yes, I’m talking about a kitschy bookends, candy dish or candleholder. If these are things that you just can’t live with out, then go to this gem of a website and order a Diva Dahlin. No home décor is complete without one. Fo’real!

It’s quite amazing how google can change your browsing experience. I actually found a website on how to turn your laptop into a weight scale. Scary but true…people actually believe this shit. I thought the picture was quite humorous. I could see my great aunt actually doing this. Tell her it’s a scale, and she’d stand on it. Ouch.

Love & Closure

2006-03-22T12:44:00.000-08:00

Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I had to say goodbye today. It was the hardest goodbye I have ever had to do, but it was necessary. Necessary for me and necessary for him. It was of those moments in your life were time stands still, moves in slow motion, and moves too quickly all in the same experience. I had to say goodbye to move on, to move forward, to complete the healing process. With a hug and a smile, I said goodbye. As emotionally painful as it was, it felt right. This song sums it all up:

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Now, it’s time to explore the new love in front of me and learn to love again. Sometimes with pain comes progress. And sometimes it takes love to find love. Now the anticipation of a new “great love” is happening. As this goodbye, as painful as it may be, will let both of us move forward.

My New Boss is EVIL.

2006-03-20T09:59:00.000-08:00

My new boss absolutely sucks.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s often said that people leave jobs not because of money, but rather because their boss is a total jerk. Well, I’m finding that out right now. You see, while I was in San Francisco last week, my boss resigned. I was devastated because, actually, I love my boss; she is supportive, dedicated to my development, and just an all around cool lady to work for. She always said “thank you” for doing a great job and made me feel totally valued. For Christmas, she even sent me a huge Napa Valley gift basket filled with totally cool stuff. I enjoyed my boss. She was awesome. So much in fact, that I would work at 110% my capacity level, because she motivated me to do even better than I already was doing.

But, now she’s gone. And, she confided in me that the reason for her leaving was because her boss was a total evil bitch. And I now have to report to this evil bitch. I knew my boss was having trouble with her boss, who just started with the company not even a year ago. The rumor on the street was that her boss, who we will call “Angry Black Woman”, came to the company after leaving her previous company after a huge management shakeup/downsizing. We now know that she is now suing her previous company for racial discrimination for a very large sum of money. Yes, that’s right, she plays the race card. Now, if it’s legit, I’m in total support of it. But if you met this lady, you’d know she’s up to no good. To give you an idea of how evil this lady is here’s a couple observations:

• Her door is always closed. (Not very Human Resources of her, is it?)
• You are NOT to talk with her unless it is important. (Important on HER standards)
• If you do not report to her directly, there is no need for her to know you. In other words, if she doesn’t HAVE to deal with you, she won’t.
• It’s her way or the highway. No input from you is needed.
• A one-on-one development session should not be longer than 3 minutes. (NOT and exaggeration)
• You are to complete a “status report” to let her know what is going on. DO NOT call her. SHE WILL CALL YOU if she needs you. This needs to be completed on a weekly basis, and is to cover everything you do and how this affects her.
• You will be immediately fired if you comment that she looks like an angry black drag queen.
• If you send her an email, you will not get a response in a reasonable time frame. Unless, you beg for an answer, at which could potentially get you fired for BUGGING her.
• She has a perception by the HR community at the company that she cannot be fired because she is a minority, and she’ll sue your ass if you should do such a thing, even with cause.

Sigh. And to make things worse, all, and I mean ALL, of my co-workers in my group resigned in fear that they would have to work for the Angry Black Woman. I stand alone. Yes, I’m absolutely and totally screwed. 6 resignations in 2 weeks. So, now I am loaded down and stressed beyond belief. (FYI, for those of you that may, by chance, think I have a problem with black women, it’s in your best interest to know that all of the resignations were minorities. Yes, she is THAT evil.) What to do?

Well, being a person who believes “The only way to escape a problem is to solve it.”, I have applied for 2 internal positions which I have 3 interviews set up this week. I also have an interview with an external company tomorrow night. So I got some things in the hopper, it’s just a matter of time before it happens. I even had some people I work with here offer to help me get out any way they could assist me. Made me feel really good. The one thing to remember though, is that I hold one hell of a big chip in my hand. If I leave, the Angry Black Woman is totally fucked. She doesn’t have clue about what I do, and she would be up shit creek if I leave. I could work this to my advantage, (i.e. a huge retention bonus), but in the end my life would still be miserable working for her. So now, it’s up to me to make things happen.

It would be a great feeling to just get up and leave and get an even better job than I have now. I can sit here for the time being, but I know eventually I am going to have to move into a different position or company altogether. Crazy huh? Well, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but I have a feeling things will turn out fine. Maybe if I am lucky she’ll get hit by a bus. (Just kidding………….or am I?)

Lost Signs

2006-03-18T17:44:00.000-08:00

Broasted Chicken....and BEER.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Mmmm…. Broasted chicken. Actually, I don’t think I’ve had broasted chicken. I assume it’s between broiled and roasted. Either case, this sign caught my eye on a trip that Tim and I took today. We explored the Superstition Mountains, Canyon Lake, and the hokey little Goldmine (tourist trap) Town on the way. There were beautiful views of the mountains on our trip, as well as the plethora of tourists at Tortilla Flat and that hokey tourist trap town.

Tim likes to take pictures…lots of pictures. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I would guess his mother’s maiden name is Kodak, Canon, or even Fuji. The guy LOVES to take pictures. We’ll be driving along and he’ll be snapping away pictures at 75mph through the tinted windows of my TL. I’m always amazed at the fact that the pictures do actually come out. Finally I told Tim that “Maybe the pictures would come out better if you took them not through the window and with the car going near 80mph.” Tim looked at me and agreed. So now the window is rolled down and I’m asked to stop when ever there’s something worth taking pictures of. Needless to say my brakes are getting a workout. I don’t mind though. He’s totally enjoying it and he’s pointing out things that I never even noticed here in Arizona. The only problem is my camera is a total piece of shit.

My camera, a Sony Cybershot, is a good camera, actually. It’s taken some very good pictures in it’s time (And I mean VERY good pictures…wink wink). Unfortunately, it likes to eat batteries like an alcoholic drinks liquor. I could of bought a new camera with all the money I spent buying it batteries. I think it’s got to do something with when I dropped the darn thing. Now it’s pissed off at me and does nothing but eat batteries. Needless to say, a new digital camera is on the list of things to buy….in the near future.

The only thing that I absolutely HAD to take a picture of was this sign. I have this thing for old signage. There’s nothing like an authentic sign to remind us of yesteryear. And the fact that I never saw the word “Broasted”. Maybe it’s the Midwest in me, but chicken was never broasted. I though to myself, this HAS to be a made up word. But to my surprise it IS actually a word…and in the dictionary, even.

Unfortunately, the place was shut down….and for a number of years it looked like. So, I was not able to try their infamous Broasted Chicken. Damn. Maybe it was lack of business, the bird flu, or even, the elusive Lost Dutchman. Who knows. But, you have to admit…they had an awesome sign.

This ad is HOT, and well..very GAY.

2006-03-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

This happens to me ALL the time.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

While in San Francisco, my friend Paul (the Ambassador of San Francisco) and I ran downstairs from our office and grabbed a Starbucks to shake off the morning blahs. As many of you know, I travel to SF a lot for work. After we grabbed our morning cup of ambition, we stopped by a newsstand where Paul said “You’ve got to see this new D&G ad in the current issue of GQ.” I was sort of confused as to what he said, probably because I didn’t have the caffeine pumping through my veins from the cup of joe I had in my hands. Paul discreetly pulled out a copy of GQ from the row of magazines and quickly turned to the 5-page D&G ad. My mouth just about dropped to the floor. Was I looking at the newest issue of Playgirl or XY? As we paged through the ad, I couldn’t believe this was in GQ. (You know, because GQ is a “straight” magazine and all. No one would EVER guess that there are ANY homoerotic undertones to that magazine, ESPECIALLY since only total STRAIGHT guys read GQ and they do NOT cater to ANY gay clientele AT ALL. Yea, whatever.) Anyway, the Ambassador pulled out the $5.99 and bought the magazine, where I instead opted for the current issue of Vanity Fair, as it had my “Number 2” (out of the top 10 guys I’d sleep with in the world…a fantasy, of course) guy Tom Ford on the cover. You got to love Tom Ford…they guy is sexy beyond belief. (But, I digress….)

So today I was bored surfing the net this morning and decided to see if I could pull up pics of those ads. I came across the D&G website and found that they had an actual screensaver with all of the ads. (For those of you who’d like to see, just click here and search for it on the site.) Again, I was quite amazed at the boldness of the ad campaign. I think they took the idea from Abercrombie and Fitch, but made it a little more mature (they boys have grown up a bit….post college maybe late 20’s 30’s kinda thing) and a little more direct. Now honestly, when was the last time you stood there with a “friend” over a naked guy looking down at him in a room full of other hot guys? (Don’t answer that question some of you…) Not very realistic. But definitely a fantasy. (Those men are going to tear that guy into two…..or at least that’s what the pic says.) A picture IS worth a thousand words, you know.

Anyway, I started to laugh after looking more in depth at the pictures. I thought to myself, “Gee…these pics are SO unrealistic….there are like NO Asian guys in these pics!” I have this blatant stereotype burned in my head of slightly overweight Asian “bois” wearing overly tight “extra small” black D&G wear frolicking around a crowded bar with a cranberry vodka in hand. Honestly, when was the last time you saw a hot Italian guy wearing D&G? Maybe in Italy, but not in the US (Aside from the occasional sighting in NYC.)

But, at the end of the day, these ads are quite good. They definitely provoke emotion and stare (whether good or bad). And, the ads definitely have gotten some press. Would it make me buy D&G? Not really. (Do I look Asian to you?) Now, if we were talking Armani, well, that’s another blog entry.

Seminars and Spas

2006-03-07T22:25:00.000-08:00

Lowes Santa Monica Beach Hotel
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m currently in Los Angeles, Santa Monica specifically, for a professional development seminar. I was really excited to go, as I haven’t actually been to a “training” seminar for myself in a long time. I seem to be always teaching the seminars as opposed to actually going to them. The premise of the seminar was to develop my “Influencing and Leadership” skills professionally and personally. It looked like a really fun and interesting seminar. Additionally, it was a “privilege” to take as you had to be nominated by your manager and have thirteen thousand levels of approvals to go. I was, of course, one of the lucky ones to be nominated and got all the necessary nods from the powers that be. The course was to be held at the fabulous Lowes Santa Monica Beach Hotel right on the ocean next to the Santa Monica Pier. (An exceptionally wonderful location). I think I was more excited at the location of the seminar than the actual seminar itself. I should have listened to my gut, as that’s exactly how it turned out.

You see, the bad part about working in Human Resources is the fact that you have exposure to almost all of the training that an organization has. And although that may sound great and all, it really can work against you when you need to sharpen your own skills. To this point, this seminar is nothing but rehash of stuff I currently teach. Yes, I was being taught stuff that I already knew and nothing was enlightening or “new” for me. In fact, I caught myself lip synching with the instructor a couple of times. (I’m sure she thought I was mocking her or playing some silly game with her. Not to mention she improperly went out of order teaching the training sequence…but who am I to judge?) So, as you can guess I am pretty disappointed in the overall course as it was nothing I did not already know. My skills in “Influencing and Leadership” were not sharpened. But, what I did enjoy was this fabulous hotel.

Yes, the hotel. I have to admit, this hotel is almost on par with the W Hotel. When I arrived I decided to take full advantage of the Spa. They have a great spa here called the Ocean Spa & Fitness Center. Very nice facility. I immediately booked myself a 50 minute deep tissue massage and a 50 minute men’s facial. As I booked I did my normal request of “Can I have a male massotherapist?” Now, normally, this request can be met very easily, but when you book literally 10 minutes before the service, it’s not always going to happen. Unfortunately, they did not have a male working at the moment. (A huge difference between this hotel and the W Hotel…as the W Hotel KNOWS their client base…wink wink.). So I had a wonderful massage with a small Mexican lady with the massage force of a steam roller. I had no idea a little woman could have so much force. She worked me over like a big piece of meat….and it felt pretty good. Especially when she hit the glutes.

Now, when you get a massage, one never knows if the massage guy (or girl) will hit the big old butt with a good deep tissue massage. If you haven’t had it done before, I highly suggest it. Now, it’s not sexual or anything, but it honestly makes for a really relaxing massage. This Mexican lady shoved her elbow on my butt (as opposed to “in”, you perverts) like nobody’s business. I never knew I had that many knots in my glutes. YIKES! Needless to say my ass felt awesome. (Insert witty pun here.)

As for my facial, who knew one could devote 50 minutes worth of time steaming, buffing, massaging, scrubbing, extracting (ouch), mudding, buffing, rubbing, applying, mudding and steaming again your face? I’m usually used to the wash and apply SPF 15 kinda thing. I have to admit though it was a great facial. I felt so LA. All I needed was a pair of J Lo sunglasses, frosted hair and a polo shirt with the collar turned “up” driving away from the spa in my convertible Chrysler Sebring, blaring a Cher or Madonna song. You can’t get more “gay LA” than that. I’ll settle for just the facial, thank you very much.

When I was done I went to the men’s spa locker room to take a shower and head back to my room. It’s always interesting in a spa locker room. It’s quite different from a gym locker room. In a gym locker room, you get the usual crowd of gay and straight kinda guys. Usually, you can tell if someone is gay (by the long stares, heavy lisps, or rainbow flag towel as they frolic to the shower….or combination of all three) or straight (b line to the locker , b line to the door…maybe a shower if they HAVE to). Well a spa locker room is quite different. EVERYONE stares and your chances of bumping into a gay or at least “bi” guy are 1000000 times better than at a gym. There must be something about getting your body rubbed up and down that makes men’s inhibitions drop to the floor like their towel in a the steam room. (Which is always an experience.) This spa was no exception. Lots of men with wandering eyes and “up to no good” smirks. Also, it’s the only place (spa locker rooms) where the steam room is packed beyond belief. Of course, I could be totally wrong and the spa could be crowded with men in touch with their feminine sides. (Long pause) Metrosexual my ass!

I head back to PHX tomorrow. I’m looking forward to getting back to sanity. LA is a peculiar place. I honestly can’t stand the place. Maybe it’s my history living in New York, or the fact that people here are just weird. Sure, there’s some “beautiful” people here….but I never met such dumb people before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are some wonderfully smart people here, but I never truly connected with this place. It’s amazing how different San Diego (my favorite city) and San Francisco (another favorite) are from this place. LA is just not for me….the plane can’t take off soon enough.

When in Rome or PV....

2006-03-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

The liberating square-cut.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

So there you have it, the elusive square-cuts. Yes, the article of clothing that is both sensually enjoyed by many and absolutely feared by others. I have to admit, I think square-cuts look way hot on guys; guys that should actually be wearing them. As for the rest, well…that’s why they made board shorts. Either case, my recent trip to Puerto Vallarta was a truly enjoyable trip, and a “coming out” of sorts. Coming right out of those board shorts and into a pair of (gasp) square-cuts.

The flight down was really great considering I got upgraded to first class. (Got to love America West/US Air Elite program….at least when you get upgraded….of course, when you don’t get upgraded…it’s the absolute worst.) My travel buddies were Chris (The President), Will (The Captain), Velasco (No nick name yet), and Paul (Ambassador of San Francisco). All of us flew down from PHX aside from the Ambassador, who of course flew from SFO. We arrived to wonderful hot and humid weather….perfect beach weather. We stood in line for about 30 minutes waiting to get through Mexican Customs. While in line, I chatted up a couple of older lesbian ladies, who swear by Puerto Vallarta. “You’re going to have such a fabulous time, you boys are!!” The conversation was a sign of gay things to come. We were soon quickly ushered into a van and taken to our hotel, Hotel Mercurio.

Puerto Vallarta is actually quite a nice place. I was expecting it to be more touristy, something like Cancun. But, actually, I was impressed by it’s old town charm, good beaches, and the fact that PV is the GAYEST PLACE IN MEXICO. I like to call it “Castro by The Beach”. There were gay boys everywhere. You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting some guy in square cuts or a sarong. (For those of you who don’t know..a sarong is the gayest legitimate article of clothing you can posses. It says “Look at me and how comfortable I am with myself…and no, silly it’s not a skirt!”). The Hotel was adequate for sleeping, stashing your stuff and the occasional continental breakfast. (and of course sex…for those that were able to do that.) It wasn’t the W Hotel by any sorts, but it was close to the beach and the bars.

The beach was wonderful. We anchored ourselves everyday by the Blue Chairs Beach Resort, which is where all the men hang out at. It was crowded, but not so much where it was ridiculous. We got 5 chairs on the beach very easily every day. The crowd of guys were awesome…tons of guys from Canada, Chicago, and other Midwest cities. All of them cruising through their mirrored sunglasses and periodically whispering comments back and forth between each other. (Except for the drunk ones….they were quite obvious and couldn’t care less.) Actually President’s Day weekend is THE weekend to go….it’s got a great mix of guys and isn’t too overcrowded. We drank Mango, Strawberry, and regular Margaritas on the beach and soaked up more cancerous rays of the sun than we could possibly want. I turned slightly red my first day, but it turned to a great tan thereafter. Everywhere you looked there were guys in speedos and square-cuts. I, of course, came unprepared and wore my board shorts the first day. So, I had to do something unthinkable.

The 2nd day, we ran out shopping in the early morning, where my goal was to find a pair of stylish square-cuts. Now, this is a big step for me. It’s not like I’m fat or anything, but I’m not at 3% body fat either. But after one day at the beach I realized that about half the guys were muscle bound hotties and the other half were polar opposite. So, I had a 50/50 chance of being grouped into one of those groups. But then I thought to myself, “Ah, who the fuck cares….when in Rome…” So I bought my first pair of square cuts and felt liberated. All five of us looked quite good at the beach, all sporting stylish square-cuts. And, I got a number of looks as well….good looks, that is. Made me feel good.

The rest of the trip was great. The food, bars, and travel companions were top notch. The Captain was the trip photographer, and I hope to get the official pictures very soon. If you’re debating a trip to PV, I would highly recommend it. Just don’t forget those square-cuts!

Karma

2006-02-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

Good news awaits inside....FINALLY!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

You have to love Karma. It gets the bad people with the bad and the good people with the good. What comes around goes around. Although I do not appreciate Karma all the time (I am a good guy , dammit!) it seems to take care of me when I least expect it. Now, I just need to convince Karma that I need to win the Powerball and all will be good. So, Karma got me back (in a good way) this past weekend.

So, as you all know, I recently settled the Bank One/JP Morgan Chase lawsuit that was dragging on my for over a year. The stress, frustration, and just stupidity of the lawsuit were just crazy. And, as you may all know, I recently settled the lawsuit by paying half of the amount to those money grubbing idiots. Roughly $1900 and some change. It took every ounce of strength in my body to pay that amount to the evil money mongers that they are. But, I figured it was best because it put an end to the stress and I didn’t want to battle this out for months, if not years, on end. I figured I won some, they won some, but in essence, no one won the complete battle. That is, until I go the mail on Saturday…..

It was like any other normal Saturday morning: the sun was out and the day was just perfect. (Except for the fact that I lost my voice and had a sever amount of antibiotics in me fighting a bacterial infection….got to love Zithromax) So I took my drugged up self and went to my mailbox. To my surprise there was an envelope from JP Morgan Chase. “What the fuck now?”, I said to myself. My anger boiled in me to the point I could feel my heart starting to pound. I aggressively opened the perforated envelope and got the biggest surprise.

“Dear Edward:
According to our records you have an outstanding balance of $2199.63 in your Bank One Cash Balance Plan. Please advise us on how you would like to continue for us to either accrue this balance, or have the amount distributed to you. You can contact us at 1-800-XXX-XXXX.”

WHAT!!?? (Yes, you read correctly). I had not a clue that I had a vested cash balance plan. So essentially, they are paying me the amount (minus taxes). How freakin’ cool is THAT!!!??? I guess this means “I WON!!!!” Those idiots are so big and ignorant that they have not a clue about how everything relates.

You’ve got to love Karma.

Next post coming soon: Puerto Vallarta: The good, the bad, and the (gasp) square-cuts!

For Sale. (But not for you.)

2006-02-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

PHX Housing Market: A Fucking Mess
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m homeless. Well, at least I soon will be. I’ve gotten the unfortunate pleasure of being notified that my apartment complex is going condo. The letter was discretely left on my door last night, right after I got home from a great Valentine’s Day dinner with Tim. Sealed in a non-descript white envelope, was the “official” letter saying (in a ghetto voice) “Dis apartments is goin’ condo, an is to spensive for yous to have!”

Yes, that’s right my small 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment is going for $303,900. (Gulp. HOW MUCH!!??) Yes, that’s quite a pretty penny to pay for an APARTMENT. Oh yes, don’t forget the monthly HOA fees of $202.98.

Now, I know I live in a good area. In fact, a really good area. But it’s a crying shame when middle-class folk like me are essentially priced out of living in a decent area in a relatively safe neighborhood. I knew it was coming…..the apartment complex going condo, but I thought the places would sell for a MUCH more reasonable price. I totally blame California for these over-inflated prices. People from California come over to places like Arizona and Nevada, buy up property and flip it within months. They don’t even live in the darn places. In fact, most apartment/condo conversions sit empty until they “flip”. It’s a fucking mess. They will pay over the asking price which in turn jacks up all of the property values to insane highs. Sooner or later the bubble is going to burst here…and I hope it is soon…so I can buy a god damn house. Augh.

The good news is that I can stay in my place until January 2007, when my lease expires. It’s just sad because I absolutely love the Biltmore area of Phoenix. It’s close to everything and is conducive to my lifestyle. (Sigh.) Now, I dread going through the home buying process. I figure, now is probably better than any other to buy than rent. Know any good mortgage brokers? (I just opened this blog up to a billion items of spam by saying that….yikes). When will this housing insanity stop? Will I ever be able to live the American Dream of owning a home? Will that home be decent or will I have to buy 50 miles out in the middle of the desert or afford anything? Augh…this is just insane!

The Honeymoon Hasn’t Ended.

2006-02-14T15:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God love Valentine’s Day. Actually I really don’t care for Valentine’s Day. Never really did. Why is it that you HAVE to be romantic on only ONE day of the year? Doesn’t really make sense does it? I was at target today marveling at all the people crowded around the Valentine’s Day display with all those cards, chocolate, and those annoying stuffed animals. I mean, really, who needs a 3 foot pink stuffed gorilla? Yea, yea, yea, it’s the thought that counts, but after the thought, who needs a 3 foot pink stuffed gorilla? Whatever happened to practical gifts? You know, like a $50 Target gift card. Everyone could use that!

Ok, I admit it. Yes, I am in the Valentine’s Day mood…..well, hell I got Tim…..duh. So, yes, I did break down and got some Valentine items to celebrate with him. (Just no pink gorillas.) Actually, the best place to get Valentine’s Day stuff is at the Porn Store. Nothing says “I Love You” like a big bottle of premium EROS lubricant or that video that just reminds you of him/her. Ah yes, Valentine’s Day with a naughty edge…what more could you want?

It’s been a crazy past number of days since I last posted. The trip from Cleveland to Phoenix was great. We drove the first day from Cleveland to Tulsa, OK (980 miles), from Tulsa to Santa Fe, NM, and then Santa Fe to Phoenix. I have to admit, Tim was a ball of fun to travel with. We laughed most of the way and really talked about a lot. By the time we reached Phoenix I felt incredibly good about his decision to move. And the honeymoon hasn’t ended yet.

This week I posted for an internal job at my company. I love my job and all, but there’s a great job opportunity in downtown Phoenix, which is MUCH closer to my home. Plus it’s a higher position with much more career potential. I had my phone interview today, which went very well. So well, that they are in the process of scheduling a second interview as soon as possible. I’m really excited, but of course, keeping my expectations low to keep me in check. I’ll keep you all posted.

Thursday, I fly to Puerto Vallarta with some great friends of mine. I’m really looking forward to taking a vacation. I haven’t been on a real vacation in some time. Tim, is staying home for the weekend. He’s in the process of looking for a job and due to expense and last minute changes it’s not feasible for him to go right at the moment. We’re both ok with it. I’ll, of course, miss him like no tomorrow, but he trusts me and I trust him. I know that my friends here in Phoenix will take care of him while I’m out drinking margaritas.

The Long Journey Home

2006-02-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

The Long Journey Home
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s amazing how as time passes things have a tendency to change. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not so good. It’s been a really crazy year. If I ever had to ask myself if I thought I would be where I am right now a year ago, I would have thought I was crazy. I’ve survived a dramatic break up, now almost a year past. I survived the horrible side of corporate America, settling the Bank One lawsuit. I survived the dating scene in a very plastic world. I traveled all throughout the western United States meeting some fantastic individuals. I’ve strengthened many great friendships that helped me through so much. I became “me” again, pulled myself back up to who I was and really deepened my sense of self. It was a rough year, but one that has taught me a lot.

And like a clump of coal that is under immense stress, pressure and time, I’ve gotten a diamond. I’ve earned my grey hair. (Although I’ll never dye it.) On a chance, and unexpected, I came across a real diamond, a real person, who I believe is right for me. And just like a diamond, you get infatuated with the sparkle or shine, the sheer beauty of it. But after you look past all of the infatuation, the brightness and the beauty, you realize that it’s something solid, something lasting, and something more than a pretty rock. That’s where I’m at.

Tim and I had a wonderful past 5 days. Sunday we took a drive up to Sedona and took in the beautiful landscape. The sky was clear and you could see for miles across the valley and the sun accented the red rock, as it almost always does in Sedona. We climbed up Bell Rock and looked across the wide open space; and that’s where that one “L” word you say came out. The word that should never be said unless you mean it. The word that many people fear, that many people avoid. The word that provokes such an emotion that you can’t contain it….your heart pounds, you sweat, you try to contain it, but it just happens. And once it’s said, you get goose bumps, your hear races, you feel relieved that you’ve finally said it. In amazement, the world didn’t crumble in on itself, and you can’t believe you said it, but you did….and it feels right. No, it’s not a mistake, in fact, it just the opposite. The response to that “L” word was just as intense and equal. It’s funny how amazing and intense one can feel when they are in Love. (And you thought I was going to say Lesbian…didn’t you?)

Anyway, I fly out to Cleveland tomorrow to drive back to Phoenix on Friday morning with Tim. The “Long Journey Home” as I like to think of it. I’ve never taken a cross country trip before. So, I’m excited on one hand, but not looking forward to spending 30 hours in a car. I’m bringing my digital camera to take some pictures of American oddities that we come across on the journey. You know, like America’s “biggest ball of string” and stuff. Our trip takes us through Columbus, Dayton, OH, Indianapolis, Oklahoma City, Amarillo, Albuquerque, Flagstaff and then Phoenix. I’m sure there will be lots to see and document on the way home. I’m looking forward to some good conversation, music and scenery on the way. (I have the song Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks playing in my head as I envision driving across the Great Plains.) More to come….

Impatiently Waiting....

2006-01-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

A Seductive Working Relationship
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m an impatient person. I’ll admit it, I am. If there’s something I want, want to get done, or need….it’s got to be done right away. I hate to wait. I don’t really care for lines either. Things like waiting in line at the Post Office, a Restaurant, or even an Amusement Park are things that I just don’t care to do. I’m an instant gratification kinda guy. Lines do nothing but delay the inevitable…and quite frankly, annoy the living hell out of me. BUT, I do know that waiting does have it’s purpose and patience is a virtue…yadda yadda yadda.

So, you can imagine how frustrating it has been waiting for Tim to come out to Phoenix this weekend. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I last saw him in Cleveland. We’ve been planning his trip out to Phoenix for over a month now, and it seems like it has been taking an eternity for it to arrive. Well, today is the day and the waiting is over. He arrives tonight on a Continental Airlines non-stop flight this evening! I’m really looking forward to spending quality time with my guy and having a fun weekend. More importantly, I’m looking forward to introducing him to my core group of friends this week as well. This is very important to me, as I truly value the opinion of my friends. I have a feeling they are going to really enjoy him and vice versa. I can definitely say I have taken a huge step up with Tim. Time goes by so fast when you really are with someone you enjoy and have fun with.

Speaking of time, I am also on the hunt for a new alarm clock. I have this oversized box of an alarm clock that I bought back in 1996. It was all the rage back in ’96. It even had a “compact disc” player in it. (Oooooo….nice!!!) Well, now it’s 10 years old and it’s starting to go. Aside from the scratchy radio reception, the skipping CD player, the miniscule clock display, and the nuclear war deaf tone alarm, it’s a pretty good clock. It’s always gotten me up and done it’s job. We’ve had a good working relationship, my clock and me. I often find the snooze button to be the most seductive feature in all of machines. You seem to always want to “touch” it. (You know you want to….just touch it one more time…..) But now that I am in my 30’s I’m finding that my eyes are starting to go. (I say this as if 32 means 89 years old…which really isn’t that old, but would someone please tell my eyes that…). So essentially, I cannot ready the display at night and that is a problem for me.

So that’s my current issue, trying to find a BIG display, small box, radio alarm clock. (Preferably in a blue display…..where’s a minimalist designer when you need one?) I can ditch the CD player as I never used the one in the old clock. Anyway, I’m on the hunt for my new alarm clock, my new bedside friend, my new working relationship. And If I’m lucky, it’ll have a seductive snooze button as well. (I’m all about being seduced.) More to come as time ticks away….

Oh (NO) Canada!

2006-01-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Leave it to the crazy right-wingers to potentially screw up a beautiful and inclusive country like our neighbors to the North. It appears that the conservative party is taking control of the government of Canada. Albeit, the current liberal government is speckled with scandal, but yet knowing that Canadian rights are at risk now is a crying shame.

I’ve always loved Canada. I used to travel to Toronto all the time when I lived in Cleveland. It was a quick 4-hour drive and made for great roadtrips. I’d spend wonderful weekends up in that great city and marvel at the gay scene on Church Street. I always found the people up there to be incredibly friendly. It really is a beautiful country. (Not to mention most of the men are way hot….must be something in the water…) Unfortunately, due to a couple people screwing things up with the Liberal Party, the Conservatives have moved in like a pack of wolves to a heard of sheep. Now, things like a woman’s right to choose, handgun law, and gay marriage are all at risk. (Hmmm....sounds strangely like a country I live in....odd...isn't it? Hmmm...)

Now, I’m no expert on Canadian politics, and I do not claim to be, but from what I read, it is a sad day in Canada. I’ve read a lot of sites: MSNBC.com, CBC.ca, BBC.com to get a holistic view on the state of affairs. All of those news sites give the same message: “Improved relations with the United States.” Um, excuse me, but aren’t we getting along pretty good, considering every other country HATES US!!?? It’s a sad day when another country has to please another country (via it's own elections) to keep good relations.

Whatever the outcome will be, I hope that the social progress that Canada has made will not take a reverse direction. Canada will survive, as most of the people are cultured, inclusive, proud, and educated. (Except for the people who voted otherwise.)

msnbc.com
cbc.ca
bbc.com

The Year of Yes.

2006-01-20T18:20:00.000-08:00

The Year of Yes.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Can you imagine saying “yes” to everyone who ever asked you out on a date for one year? (Honestly, yes, because no one ever directly asks me out on a date…not that I have to worry about it now…) But, seriously….what a crazy thought, huh? Well, that’s exactly what Maria Dahvana Headley did in her new memoir. I was getting ready to go to work this morning watching my Today Show family Katie, Matt, Al, and Ann when they did a segment on a new book called “A Year of Yes”. When I heard the premise, I HAD to watch the segment. Katie, being her plucky self, asked a ton of obvious questions. “Why did you do it?” “What was your craziest date?” “Did you wear clean underwear?” But the real fun was listening to all the dates Maria went on. Everything from a famous rock star to a (literally) bum on the street. I was absolutely enthralled with her adventures. Unfortunately, they ruined the segment by having the CEO of match.com commenting on how wonderful her experiences were. (For someone running a dating site, she totally needs a stylist, as she looked like a soccer mom….and do you want dating advice from a soccer mom? Not so much.)

So after the segment I immediately logged onto amazon.com to get the skinny on the book. After reading the reviews, I had to get the book. Click. Sold. I’m now patiently awaiting the book and to read the adventures Maria had. Here’s an excerpt from the Editorial Review:

“It sounds disastrous, even scary, though she chose to exclude the drunk, the drugged, the violent, and cheating husbands. The first date was the Puerto Rican handyman who came to fix the toilet with his daughter in tow, the second a 40-year-old who spoke only Polish. One took her to a strip joint, one wanted his penis bitten, one was a woman and one asked her to marry him on the first date. One of the nicest turned out to be the 70-year-old Latino who made obscene sucking noises and claimed to have 11 children. The one Headley got a crush on turned out to be "mostly gay." And then what happened? Believe it or not—true love.”

How fun is THAT!!?? Anyway, should be a fun casual read. Now for a couple updates. First, thanks everyone for the email and comments on the Podcast….it was a great time and I hope to have another one out soon. I’ve already mentally picked out the next guest…which hopefully will agree to be recorded….keep your fingers crossed, as they are some funny peeps!

The Bank One trial is coming to a close. We’re in the process of settling. My counterclaim got their attention. I could go ahead and pursue the counterclaim, but honestly, it’s not worth the stress and headache. I win some, they win some, I loose some they loose some. It’s worth the nominal price to get it settled, and I at least don’t have to pay anywhere near the original $3900. Augh…I know what you are all thinking. But, I’m so over it. In protest, I suggest you close all your accounts with J.P. Morgan Chase or Chase Bank. They suck.

On the love front, things with Tim are going well. He’s coming out next weekend and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m trying to figure out a clever way to greet him at the airport. He’s also put in for a transfer to Phoenix. (What??? What’s that you say?) Yes, he’s decided to move on out here. And I feel great about it. We’ve talked it through and we both want to pursue it. What have I got to loose? It feels right. In February it will be 2 months. And that’s about the time he’ll be moving to PHX. I’m really excited and for once, someone makes me feel great through and through. More to come…..

A Voice with the Face.

2006-01-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

Chris, Me & Travis after my 1st Podcast.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Well, I finally did it and figured out how to Podcast. I enlisted my friends Travis and Chris to help me out, and I think we did a pretty good job. I don’t plan on doing a lot of these…but you definitely will see these in the future. Today’s podcast we’ll be discussing the following topics:

• New Year’s Resolutions
• American Idol
• Howard Stern
• Apple Phenomenon
• Husband Hunting

Let me know what you think! More to come!!!

TRUE STORIES…. PODCAST #1

(1/16/06: Ok, should be working perfectly now.....click on the above link and try it...bugs should be worked out. Still keep an eye for iTunes version!!!.)

Batting Near 6000

2006-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

On The Radio
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Wow, look at that hit counter go…and go….and go! Who would of though that many people would be viewing my blog. Well, it’s not like Amazon.com or anything, but yet, it makes me feel good. Thanks for all the comments over the months. I think over the next couple months, I’ll dabble into the podcasting…just need to find some time to do it. I got a lot to say, and actually did a radio show back in college. Gosh, that sure was fun, doing a radio show on 1030AM at Kent State University. I used to have a ton of people call in which was nice considering it was a closed circuit radio station on campus. I’d get some crazy calls, and play some even crazier music. (Sigh, the memories.).

Speaking of radio shows….you ever listen to the Delilah Radio Show? I know she’s syndicated in almost every city in the country. Now, let me just say, that is just one corny radio show. She get’s a little preachy now and then, but I crack myself up everytime I listen to her. (which means I usually listen to her when I’m flipping through the stations…I’m not a fan…but sometimes I need a good laugh.) Anyway, the people that call into that show are total Jerry Springer types. Which is sad because for the 1 or 2 people that are actually serious “love” calls, they end up being grouped into the trailer trash types. (No offense to anyone living in a trailer…but you know who I am talking about.) So here’s a sample of her show and my comments (or should I say “thoughts” of what is going through my mind.):

Delilah: “Hello caller, who’s this?” (Like she cares)
Caller: “Um yea this is Shirley.” (Like that is her real name.)
Delilah: “Hi Shirley, what a wonderful name…” (What? Oh she soo lying! As she takes a drag of her 20th cigarette and swigs a bottle of whiskey.)
Caller: “ Well, um I have this guy I’ve fallen in luv with, and he’s been called to active duty in Iraq, and sometimes it’s so hard to be without him.” (Which essentaially means she’s got extra room in the trailer and she’s been getting nailed by his cousin Bobby Joe or something.)
Delilah: “Wow, that’s so hard. When is he coming back?” (She let’s out a huge yawn)
Caller: “I just don’t have any idear.” (She could care less, she’s getting some from Bobby Joe.)
Delilah: “So what can I play for you?” (Pours another cup of whiskey, scratches her ass.)
Caller: “Hows about All By Myself by Celine Dion?” (As she breaks out her own bottle of whiskey)
Delilah: “Anything for your Shirley, and God bless.” (She does a line of coke, and takes another swig of whiskey.)

Of course, you NEVER hear a love request from a gay guy or lesbian. Although I have this strange feeling that when “Pat” dedicates a song to “Chris”, they are both actually women. I’d love to call in as Chaniqua and make a love song request for something by Luther Vandross, and dedicate it to my sweet sistah Keisha from East Cleveland. (Ooooo child, I knows dat be a goo one.) I wonder what would happen if her show was all of a sudden inundated with gay love requests, how she would handle it. You have to admit, it would be pretty funny hearing her reactions. She’d probably all damn us to hell or something…she sounds like a bible beater to me.

Delilah: “Hello caller, who is this?”
Caller: “Hey girlfriend, this is SSsssteve!”
Delilah: (pause) “Um hello Steve, what’s on your mind tonight?”
Caller: “(Sigh), It’s Ronald…he’s SUCH a bitch!”
Delilah: “Oh really? Now, now, we’re on the air..be nice.”
Caller: “Augh, I know…but he sooo is. He’s been deployed to Ibiza.”
Delilah: “In the Middle East? I didn’t know we had troops there!”
Caller: “Augh no ssssilly! He’s been deployed with a circuit party promoter to be a go-go- boy!”
Delilah: (pause) “A go-go boy?”
Caller: “Well, duh, he’s hot AND hung! Anyway, can you play ANYTHING by Erasure? They are so fab!”
Delilah: “Don’t know if I have anything by Erasure.”
Caller: “Pet Shop Boys?”
Delilah: “Nope…don’t think I have that either. How about Melissa Etheridge?”
Caller: “Augh do I even SOUND like a lesbian?”
Delilah: “No, but…”
Caller: “Whatever!” (click)

This is what goes through my head when I listen to that damn show. Gay, ghetto, gay and ghetto, white trash….all the stereotypes.….it goes through my mind. Makes the show so much more fun to listen too. Anyway, if you happen to listen to the show…think of me.

Gate C-24

2006-01-11T12:44:00.000-08:00

Blowing Leaves. (Cause he knows I'm on the phone)
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Well, it’s been awhile since I posted last, and that’s because there is so much going on right now. It’s been a whirlwind kinda month so far for January. You name it, it’s happening right now. And, most of it isn’t that bad actually. But first, let me tell you about a couple of observations I have made about leaf blowers.

Leaf Blowers? (Yes, leaf blowers.) It never fails that when I need to be on the phone, there is a landscaper with a leaf blower near by. It’s like some unspoken rule of leaf blowers, that if they see, or even think that someone is on the phone, they immediately flip the blower on high and blow dust right near the window or area you are in. It’s annoying. I have the same problem with buses when I am outside on my cell phone. Never fails. I’ll be making a call and the biggest diesel clanking bus will be driving by just as I’m about to say “hello”. Carpool my ass….the bus does nothing but annoy me. Anyway, onto some updates:

Monday I filed the counterclaim against Bank One/J.P. Morgan Chase in Ohio. It felt good. Tim went with me. When I filed the papers they asked me if I wanted them “served” to Bank One (which essentially means they are delivered by a cop or some other form of “official uh oh you’re in deep shit now buddy” kinda way.) You bet your ass I did. It felt good. So, now it’s a waiting game to see how they react. Here’s what I am now suing THEM for:
• Constructive Termination
• Unfair Treatment under the Bank One/J.P. Morgan Chase severance plan.
• Breach of Offer of Promotion and implied contracts.
• Harassment by management actions and sexual orientation.

Yes, I threw in the “sexual orientation” piece because it’s a known fact that my boss at the time did not like gay men. Even though it cannot be legally enforced (blame the Bush Administration), I could prove that they broke their own rules and policies on sexual orientation, which in effect could be tried as unfair treatment. Eh, only time will tell. Keep me in your thoughts.

On the love life front…..it couldn’t be better. I snuck away to Cleveland on Friday and called in sick on Monday. I used one of those $400 travel vouchers and jet-setted my ass to Cleveland for some luvin’. Tim and I had a great weekend. Tim is an amazing guy. We have this awesome connection. I know a lot of people will think that I’m totally infatuated with this guy, and to some extent that is true. But, I’ve been infatuated with a lot of guys and none of them seem to be quite like Tim. He’s a very genuine guy. From the moment I stepped off that plane to the second I left, it felt great. It felt right. We talked a lot about how we felt and where we want to go with this. I can’t believe it’s been a month now since we met. So, we both agreed we really want to make this work and pursue each other. So we’re currently looking at ways to make this happen.

You know, it’s funny. I never expected to meet someone like Tim. But it just happened. I’m at that stage where I have a billion things going through my mind right now. All good. We have great communication, we laugh a lot, and I just absolutely love being with him. We have a lot of fun, but we’re both serious about this too. I still can’t believe that he grew up no more than a mile from where I grew up…..yet we never met until now. Kinda makes you think about that “fate” thing.

So as I waited for my flight back to Phoenix, I sat at the gate feeling a little depressed about the upcoming time away from him. Yea, sure, he’s coming out to visit PHX in 2 and a half weeks, but when you feel this way it seems like an eternity. As I was pondering the depressing thoughts, I got a text message from Tim. “Look inside your large carry-on.” So, I flipped over my carry-on bag, unzipped it, and found a small stuffed animal (a monkey), and a card. My heart was racing from the romantic gesture. I opened the card and it said: (cover) “And now for an update..” On the inside it said “I’m still Crazy about you.” Signed Tim. That’s when it hit. Wow, this guy is special…..this guy is for me. My eyes watered up and I felt like a big sissy at Gate C24 at Cleveland Hopkins International (they fly to London…one flight makes the airport “international”) Airport.. It’s stuff like that that gets to your heart. It’s the little things not the big ones that can ultimately lead one to the big “L’ word. More updates to come….

I’s got me some Bluetoofus

2006-01-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

Wireless Wonder!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God, I love Bluetooth Technology. A world without wires. Freedom from the tangled web of cords. I never though much about the technology, but now I feel like it’s becoming something I got to have. For example, I have a Bluetooth phone (A Treo 650), which connects into my car, which has Bluetooth handsfree (05’ Acura TL). It works so seamlessly and effortlessly. My Powerbook has Bluetooth, which connects into my phone and printer. I even have a Bluetooth headset for my iPod, which brings the experience to a whole new level (no white cords here!). Let’s not forget my Bluetooth wireless keyboard and Bluetooth mouse. Bluetooth, Bluetooth, Bluetooth….it’s a wireless wonder. I see a bunch of people wandering around with Bluetooth earpieces for cellular phones. That’s where it’s going a little too far for me. All those people with pieces of plastic and metal with little blinking blue lights. Sorta reminds me of the Borg from Star Trek (resistance is futile).

If only life could be as easy as Bluetooth. Unfortunately they have not come out with the “Bluetooth Do It All” device. You know, something that could wash your clothes, make you dinner and vacuum your carpet. (Well, I’m sure we’ll see a Bluetooth Roomba vacuum soon…. You know, that creepy little round disk that roves around your floor and supposedly cleans it, all along the while scaring the shit out of your cat or dog.).

Now for some updates. The Bank One trial continues. I am now going to be filing a counterclaim on Monday suing them essentially for constructive termination and unfair treatment. I never wanted to play the “sue” game, but after repeated attempts to settle this case in the last week, and no response from their attorneys, I have no other choice. So I am filing a counterclaim and demanding damages well over the $3,900 they originally filed. Let’s just say this you need to multiply that number by 19. Yea, it’s a lot more money. Hopefully that will get their attention, and push this case to settlement. At this point, I’m getting angry and want this over with. Wish me luck.

As for things back in Ohio, I am looking forward to using one of my travel vouchers to see Tim this weekend. We’ve talked everyday since I returned home to Phoenix last week. He’s turning out to be an awesome guy. For some reason my heart races when I talk to him….must be because I really like this guy. As a lot of my friends can tell, I’m pretty smitten with him. I’m looking forward to introducing him to everyone here in PHX when he comes out to visit at the end of the month. He’s picking me up at the airport tomorrow night. I can’t wait. A little fact about Tim: He’s a competitive volleyball player. I have yet to see him play, but I hope to very soon. (You have to admit, volleyball players are sexy…very sexy.)

The weather here has been insanely beautiful. Mid 70’s and clear as a bell. We haven’t had measurable rain since October 17th. Now, if I could just somehow bring the warm weather with me to Cleveland….

The Journey Home

2005-12-31T09:49:00.000-08:00

Back Home in Phoenix, Arizona
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m finally back in Phoenix. It’s good to be home. But the trip back to Phoenix was not without it’s hiccups and money-making opportunities. How’s that you say? Well, it goes a little something like this:

When we last left our intrepid traveler, I was delayed by roughly 2 days. I received a $500 travel voucher and was to be booked first class back to PHX through Houston. I was pretty ok with going back on Thursday (as opposed to Tuesday), but was a little annoyed that my luggage was going to Phoenix and not I. Wearing the same clothes for three days is not a fun experience. (Don’t worry I DID wash my clothes at my mom’s place the next day….so it wasn’t THAT bad…..but aesthetically I never like to wear the same clothes over and over again…fashion faux paw) The extra time I had on my hands was very well spent with family and Tim. But it gets hard saying good-bye over and over again.

Thursday morning, (not to be confused with Lauren Bacall’s Tuesday Morning…god, she’s on a downward spiral career wise schlepping bargain cut outs at discount stores….what a shame…) I got to the airport at 7:30am for my 8:55am flight to Houston. I flew 1st class to Houston and had a wonderful omelet and fruit plate with a hot cinnamon roll. Not too bad. I arrive in Houston to beautiful sunny weather. I was almost home! I journeyed to my connecting gate in the new E terminal. While on the way, I stopped at the Swatch Store and bought 2 awesome swatches. (I love swatches…I loved them in the 80’s and I love them now. They’ve come a long way and the designs and materials are top notch. Swatch Watches are my little unknown obsession.) I get to my gate and then board my direct flight to PHX. Continental 1st Class service is damn good. I had a Bacardi and Diet Coke (with a lime) to take an edge off the late morning while I waited for the coach cabin to board. THEN, it came. The gate agent pulls the microphone from the galley and says:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we currently have an oversold situation. We are looking for volunteers to deplane this flight and take the next available flight to Phoenix connecting through El Paso, Texas at 2:30pm. For your seat, we are giving a $400 travel voucher good for wherever Continental or Northwest flies.”

Well, my day was shot anyway, so why the hell not? DING DING DING. I got my things, got off them plane and went to the gate counter. They gave me a $400 travel voucher, a $6 meal voucher and I was off to the next gate in the B Terminal. Wow, I just made $900 bucks off this trip! But wait kids, it’s not over just yet.

I get to Gate B84C for my El Paso flight, which was packed. According to my new travel itinerary, I was to go to El Paso on Continental Express (a little regional jet) and then connect in El Paso to PHX on America West. (This usually NEVER happens: where one airline flies you on another airline...but who cares, I was getting home). The flight to El Paso was delayed due to a mechanical problem….so much of a problem, they had to get another plane. This delayed the flight by an hour and we were cutting it close for the connecting flight. Finally, we get on the plane and it’s packed. They close the cabin door and do the Flight Attendant Safety Dance, and then the engines power down. Oh God, what now? The pilot opens the cabin door and deplanes to talk with the ground crew. After about 20 minutes, the gate agent comes on the plane and grabs the microphone in the galley and says:

“Good afternoon everyone, we currently have a weight balance situation due to the small size of this aircraft. We are currently looking for volunteers to take another flight to El Paso or their final destination. For cooperation, we are offering a $400 travel voucher good for wherever Continental or Northwest flies.”

You’ve GOT to be kidding me!?? DING DING DING! (we have a winner!) I got off that tiny crowded plane, with 2 other people, all of us going to Phoenix (as crazy as that sounds.) I got my $400 travel voucher, another $6 meal voucher and a confirmed seat on the 10:45pm non-stop flight to PHX. I was also put on the standby list for every non-stop flight to PHX starting at 5:35pm. I just made $1300 in travel vouchers. God, where ever will I go? (My original ticket to Cleveland cost $277).

I was lucky enough to get on the 5:35pm flight back to PHX and was home by 7:45pm Thursday night. My bed never felt so good. I called Tim when I got home and told him the crazy story and we both laughed…and felt awesome about the free travel. I’m going back to CLE (free) next weekend, and he’s coming out here to PHX end of January. When you think about it, things happen for a reason. I’m never good at long distance kinda things….but with 3 free tickets…it’ll make it a whole lot easier and nicer. Who knows, maybe in the near future I won’t have to deal with a “long distance” relationship, but rather a fantastic one.

A 1st Class Delay

2005-12-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

1st Class Ticket Home
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Where in the world is Ed? Wouldn’t you believe it, I am STILL in Cleveland, Ohio. God love the airlines. Leave it to them to overbook flights during the holiday season. Thankfully, though, Continental Airlines has a pretty good policy when it comes to bumping people off their airplanes. So here’s how the day went yesterday:

I wrapped up the day with seeing the family. I had the usual long Italian good-byes of hugs and kisses and “When will we see you again..” kinda stuff. Tim volunteered to take me to the airport, as it what I was hoping for, as I had even longer Italian good-byes with him. He’s such a hot guy. (long pause….mind wanders) Anyway, I said good-bye to Tim and started my adventure into Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. CLE (airport code for Cleveland) is actually a very busy airport. It’s not as busy as Phoenix Sky Harbor, but for being a Continental hub it’s pretty busy. As I walked in I could feel the travel tension seeping through the air. People running all over the place, men arguing at the ticket counters, travelers sleeping on the floor, bags of freshly opened holidays gifts (that are way too big to put in the overhead bins), and the “fingernails on chalkboard” sounds of babies crying. I think it should be law to sedate children under the age of five, and check them with your luggage. It would make life a lot easier on the flight. In fact they should come up with ADULTAIR, an airline without children under the age of 18 and younger than the age of 65.

I waited in the Security line for 30 minutes watching people take everything off except their underwear. The very attractive muscle-bound TSA guy was asking everyone to take their coats off and a couple of people took EVERYTHING off….it was funny. (God love those people from Poland.) I got to the gate, and they started making this wonderful announcement: “ Thank you for flying Continental airlines, at this time we have an oversold situation, we need up to 20 (yes…that’s TWENTY) volunteers to take the next available flight and receive a travel voucher for $250 good for your next flight on Continental or Northwest.” So I sat there, thinking I could use the voucher, but really needed to get back to Phoenix. Additionally, the next flight to Phoenix would be on Thursday morning, due to heavy holiday flight loads. Nah, I needed to get back to Phoenix.

So I got on the plane, which was insanely packed. I got to my seat 10F, which was a window seat. It’s important for me to have an isle or window seat as I am 6’3. Plus I like the window because it is easier to sleep up against a wall. As the plane loaded, the cabin got louder and louder with hard of hearing old people, loud people with major nasal accents, and the worst of the worst....crying babies. As my luck would have it, sitting in the middle seat was a 4 year old gem with the vocal cords of Mariah Carey on a bad day. I thought everything would be ok until the mother disciplined the little girl for playing with the tray table. Then it hit like a Christmas Tsunami. I could feel the blood starting to ooze out of my ears from the screechy scream from the depths of hell that came out of the brat’s mouth. Then like a sunbeam out of heaven, the flight attendant made this announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we still have a need for a couple more volunteers due to the oversold situation. At this time we are offering to book you FIRST CLASS through Houston on Thursday morning, also giving you a $500 travel voucher to anywhere Continental or Northwest flies.”

As I looked at the Devil Mom and her Seed of Satan next to me, I couldn’t reach the call bell fast enough. DING DING DING DING DING! I got my carry-ons and I was deplaned to take the flight two days later. There was only one hang-up. My luggage could not be taken off the plane due to time constraints. Yes, I had no clothes. I did, fortunately have all my toiletries. I got all the details wrapped up, got ticketed for my 1st class flight, got my $500 travel voucher and was on my way. I immediately called Tim to pick me up which he was more than happy to do.

As I waited outside, I couldn’t help but be excited to see Tim again. It was another opportunity to see a guy I really wanted to see again. It was as if I was given another belated Christmas gift. Tim pulled up to the curb I put my carry-ons into the back seat and he gave me one of those huge bear hugs that just go straight to your heart. We kissed and drove off to go back to his place for a couple hours. As we were going back, I couldn’t help but think about my luggage. Hopefully, they will lock my bag up in Phoenix when it get’s there like they said they would. Having no clothes for two days is going to be interesting. Eh, it’s not like I needed clothes last night anyway….

The Day After

2005-12-26T09:49:00.000-08:00

Cleveland, Ohio
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Greeting from Cleveland, Ohio….yes, the dreary city on Lake Erie. Actually, my mom’s house is in a southeastern suburb of Cleveland, called Northfield Center. Eh, Cleveland, Northfield Center, it’s all the same: cold, dreary and depressing. It reminds me of why I moved to Phoenix.

Aside from the depressing weather, I have had a great time with that family and doing the holiday thing. Traffic out here has been absolutely insane. God love development. Since I’ve moved away, they have built so many strip malls and stores. From Target to Best Buy to everything you can think of. I remember when the surrounding area was nothing more than a two lane road and rolling hills. Now, it’s a commercialized mess with more traffic than you can imagine. The population here surges around the holidays with all the people coming back “home” from all over the country. Cleveland airport was absolutely a mad house of people and presents and crying babies. The flight out was uneventful, which is always a good thing.

Since, I’ve been out here I’ve been spending a lot of time with my buddy Tim. He’s an absolutely insanely wonderful guy. Remember when I blogged about how all the good ones live far away? Tim is one of these guys. I don’t think I could ask for a better Christmas gift…definitely makes the weather much more bearable. I hope to have him out to Phoenix soon. It’s going to be a depressing flight back.

Aside from a great Christmas with family and Tim, I got a nasty Christmas cold out here. So my mom, has been feeding me Antibiotics (sore throat), Advil, Sudafed and cough drops. I hate colds. It helps having a mom who works for the Cleveland Clinic. I also rather have a cold out here than in the beautiful weather in Phoenix. The only good thing about the cold is that it’s keeping me from totally pigging out on the huge amounts of bakery, Christmas cookies, poppy seed rolls, cheesecake, pineapple upside down cake, and more leftovers than you can shake a bat at. I am so doing South Beach Diet when I get back.

So, now my sister Anne and I are going to go hit the stores at the mall. How crazy are we? I hate going to the stores after Christmas, but it’s a holiday tradition. I think I’ll take another Sudafed to make it more bearable.

Wind in the Palm Trees

2005-12-18T12:25:00.000-08:00

Antonio D'Acchille's Masterpiece
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

You ever have one of those days where you have enough time on your hands to really look back and reflect on a number of things? For most people, like myself, you don’t get these times often. It seems the world is just running about you at WARP 9 and time always slips away and everything is just so rushed. This morning, I woke up, poured a cup of coffee, and sat out on my patio. It was a gorgeous morning…low 60’s the sun was shining brightly in the morning sky, and there was this eerily calm in the air. The air was crisp from the overnight low temperature, and I could hear the church bells from St. Thomas Church in the distance. (They are praying for me, you know). So there I sat drinking my crème brule coffee just staring blankly at the Royal Palm trees across the street. I had a million things going through my head, all the while trying to digest each item in full detail and color. So here’s a selection of my morning reflections:

Brokeback Mountain: I didn’t cry. But the emotion inside me was there. It was an incredible movie that deserves all of the accolades it has received. The story was very tragic, but emotional and real. I won’t go into too much detail, to save the movie for those who haven’t seen it yet, but I will say it’s a moving love story that I and many people can relate to (Well, not everything, but many parts.). Unfortunately, I saw the movie in a packed, mostly gay crowd. Here’s my thing: going to see a movie with a bunch of queens is almost as bad as seeing a horror flick in inner city ghetto East Cleveland. (I love ghetto black women at a horror flick with comments like “Oh no she did-ent” “Watch out! He gonna get chu!” “Wooo gurl…dats just nasTAY!” ) I was totally annoyed at the queen behind me saying “Oh! Here they go…they're gonna do it! That is so hot!!!” And comments like “God, I want Jake’s ass!”. I turned around twice and shot an evil look, but it did nothing to deter the totally inappropriate comments coming from the sexually deprived queen behind me….and all about the theatre. So, now I’ll have to go see it again to really experience the movie with a mature audience. I mean come on…it’s a serious movie. I do, though highly recommend the movie.

Romance & there lack of it. : Why is romance an unrealistic concept in today’s world? Again, not to bitch, but it seems that the idea of romance is just dead. Sometimes I think I am old school on this topic, but this has really been getting to me lately. Maybe it’s the holidays, maybe not…but do people out there understand that life is more than expensive labels and a quick fuck? I mean, really, think about it. It’s a simple concept, just made complicated by your own perception and barriers. Live to Love, Love to Live. That’s my concept. But alas, finding people with less luggage that a 747 is hard to do. So I plod on….

Home: Just the other day, I came to the distinct realization that Phoenix is now my home. I’ve lived in the Valley now for 2 years and have successfully integrated in to the crazy culture out here. I love it here. Although Cleveland will always be where I am “from”, Phoenix is now my “home”.

Art: The picture on this post is Antonio D’Acchille’s “dalla Realtà al Mito”. This is one of my most favorite pieces of art. I have a small print of this framed in my apartment. This picture brings vivid imagination to me in many ways. It also reminds me of the gallery showing in Cleveland at Brenda Kroos Gallery and the massive amount of wine I drank in 1996. I tried to google the artist to see about purchasing some more art from him, but have been unsuccessful in finding him (Let alone everything is in Italian). What images and emotion do you see in this picture?

Personal Transformation: I have grown a lot in the past 8 months. A friend of mine that I have known for a very long time said to me: “It’s good to see the old Ed back…I though he was gone, but you’re back and better than ever before.” Now that I have moved on from my break-up and realized that I have a lot of living to do, I’ve noticed that I’ve gone through a personal transformation, not just physically but more so on the emotional and personal side. And it’s a good feeling. Although, I’ll never regret my past, it’s good to feel new again and experience life. I’ve seen many people go through personal transformations, but when it happens to you….it just hits you.

Las Noches de las Luminarias

2005-12-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

Holidays at the Desert Botanical Garden
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Last Night, I ventured to a Phoenix holiday tradition. The Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix puts on the annual Las Noches de las Luminarias. Travis convinced me to go, as I was not in the holiday mood lately. I was quite impressed. The place was filled with thousand upon thousands of luminaries. (For you who don’t know, luminaries are those candle in paper bag thingy that line a sidewalk or walkway…a cheap, effective and festive way to light up an area to walk through.)

The night was filled with Holiday cheer and music by many different bands and artists. My favorite was the harp player, and the bell ringers. Very festive. We ate at the event where I had my first holiday tamales. Green Chile and Corn Tamales with a creamy spicy chile sauce. (Krist, you’d be impressed…they were damn good.) It was a great relaxing night. A glass of cabernet topped off the evening. Or more appropriately a plastic cup.

After the event, we decided to run out and continue our holiday cheer with some cocktails at the local bar Homme. It was dead, but the Bacardi Limon and diets were flowing very nicely. The bar was playing the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Have you ever seen that movie? Is that not the weirdest movie you have ever seen!!?? We couldn’t stop watching the movie. It’s like watching a train wreck or something. What made it even weirder was that the whole bar (all 5 people) were entranced with the movie. It was like a form of mind control or something. Or everybody was high.

Today I get to see Brokeback Mountain. Got my tickets for the 7:40pm show. I’m totally excited. The Arizona Republic gave the movie an excellent review. (Which is pretty good considering the AZ Republic tends to be on the conservative side.) So now I need to prepare for the movie. All the usual questions pop in my head….do I bring Kleenex? (Answer: Yes….but the travel size so your discreet enough, but yet not obvious) What do I wear? (Answer: NOT western wear…which I don’t have any anyways. That’d be really queer.) How early do I get there? (Answer: Early enough to get a good seat, obviously……oh jeez….I’m talking to myself again….) I’m sure the who’s who will be at the theatre. I could only find one theatre in Central Phoenix playing the show, which is right next to the Scottsdale Fashion Square Mall. Should be a great movie to see.

www.dbg.org

The Saga Continues

2005-12-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays from Bedford, Ohio.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Well, I’m on the plane back to Phoenix. The trip was a total waste of time. Well, not a total waste…..there were some very good highlights, but this trip was for the court case. The judge overturned the dismissal and threw the case back into litigation on request of Bank One/Chase. I AM FURIOUS. BUT…….the judge was quite helpful. The judge believed that I had enough evidence to file a counter claim against Bank One/Chase. So, she essentially left it open for 28 to 60 days to file a counterclaim, which would essentially take it out of her court into Common Pleas. The advantage of this would be that it could be tied up in Common Pleas for up to 5 years. Yes, you read correctly….FIVE FUCKING YEARS. I know that sounds like a lot of time, which it is, but there’s now an incentive for Bank One/Chase to withdraw the suit or spend GOBS and GOBS of money in legal fees (Well over the $3,900) over the course of the potential litigation. She requested that we either settle out of court, I file a counter claim, or they withdraw. After the hearing, the opposing attorney asked to speak with me to which I replied….”I want to settle, but I’m not paying anything near the $3,900 and if otherwise, I will file my counterclaim, where I am assured to win on my merits and evidence.” They said they will get back to me in the near future. So, I sorta have a huge wild card in my deck of tricks. We’ll see……I was just hoping to get this settled before the holidays……why not wait another couple weeks? So, the saga continues…..

I did have a great time seeing my family. I had an awesome night (the night I was there) in Bedford, Ohio where I had some great connection and conversation. Did you know Fed Ex has the second largest fleet of jet liners behind American Airlines? Huh,…learn something every day. Today before the airport I did some retail therapy with my sister Anne. She’s a blast to hangout with and we laughed and laughed our way all through Crocker Park, a new outdoor “lifestyle” shopping area on the West side of Cleveland. Which, of course, we got lost trying to get to because we’re East Side….and we didn’t have our passport or map to travel on that side of town. (It’s a Cleveland thing.)

This trip was almost like a preview to next week when I fly back for the holidays. Although the weather was insanely cold….it was 25 degrees as a high and cloudy…..I did get in the Christmas spirit a little bit. It’s hard not to when holiday tunes are playing snow is falling and your all bundled up in a thousand layers of clothes. (As some of you may know I definitely prefer to take clothes off than put them on.) I even helped decorate my mom’s 10 foot Christmas tree. Now I know why Hallmark stays in business. My mother buys ever single ornament they make. I suggested she Ebay some of the damn things and get some major cash for Christmas….and she just looked at me….like I was telling her to sell a child or something. Of course this time of year makes me quite emotional too….I tear up when I hear Faith Hill’s “Where Are You Christmas”….and even that damn Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You.” Augh, I feel like a big sissy.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get upgraded coming or going on this trip. No free drinks. BUMMER. But, I did get to see an annoying “Elite Member” bitch at the flight attendant about not getting upgraded to first class. People like that annoy me. He was a total asshole and actually was holding up the boarding process. I think the flight attendant peed in his drink. God, I hope so. Phoenix here I come……

(Brokeback Mountain in 2 days!!!!)

My Hell is Almost Over....

2005-12-12T13:50:00.000-08:00

The Card of EVIL.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Disclaimer:
The intent of this post is to let everyone know my frustration. All information below is true to the best of my knowledge and is entirely my opinion. Names of individuals have been deleted to protect their identity. As always, you should make informed decisions on who you decide to receive financial services from. So here I go…..

FUCK Bank One/Chase. I have never met a more fucked up and vindictive organization in my life. As some of you may know, I am in the final stages of legal litigation with my prior employer. Yes, I used to work for Bank One (now known as Chase). I worked for Bank One for 2 long years, and did a very good job working in their Human Resources Department. In fact, I did my job so well, I received a huge promotion which moved me out to Phoenix from Cleveland. I really enjoyed my job. In fact, I loved it. That was until 6 weeks after I moved out to PHX. Around January 23rd, Bank One announced it was merging with J.P. Morgan Chase. This is when I found out that my job was being eliminated.

I was crushed. I had a great job, great career ahead of me in the company, and now it was being eliminated. So, I did what any other good employee would do…..keep doing my job until I found something that was worth my while in the new company. I worked for months, 6 months in fact, working without knowing if I had a job. So I worked those six months laying people off. My awesome job turned into the WORST job. All I did for those months was lay people off in very economically depressed areas like Milwaukee and New Orleans. It was extremely disheartening. I was, if you will, the hatchet man from Human Resources. All the while, trying to figure out what was going to happen with me. Finally, I got word that I was being slated into a job. The job they slated to me was a low level HR position. A job that I did not want and a job that I was put into without choice. Additionally, they were supposed to offer me a severance package, which they failed to do. I know this, because all I did for 6 months was deliver pink slips and severance packages to displaced employees. Anyway, it was a shitty deal that was handed to me and a deliberate career block by my co-worker and manager. So I worked a month in this position against my will (I needed a job), and then found a new job outside of the company (where I am now), at a great organization.

Anyway, end of story, right? Um, no. About 2 months after I left Bank One, I received a letter demanding that I repay $3,900 in relocation costs to Phoenix. I was floored. They eliminated my position! Additionally, they failed to offer me a severance package when I was entitled to it! And NOW they want a nominal amount back in relocation expenses? My anger started to bubble. So I responded to the letter as such:

November 12, 2004

XXXXXX
Relocation Counselor
J.P. Morgan Chase & Company
1111 Polaris Parkway
Columbus, Ohio 43240

Dear Ms. XXXX:

I am in receipt of your letter addressed to me dated October 21, 2004 and which was received on October 25, 2004. I am writing to inform you that based on your constructive termination of my employment and lack of good faith in your actions as my employer, I will not be paying the requested amount. Based on the Bank’s conduct, I am informed that I would not be held responsible for the alleged reimbursement under my employment contract and may have counterclaims in excess of the amount you have demanded.

The facts regarding Bank One’s failure to live up to its contractual obligations to me as an employee are summarized as follows. I received from Bank One an offer of promotion on November 20, 2003 to become a Sr. Human Resources Business Partner supporting the National Auto Finance Group based out of Phoenix, Arizona for Bank One Corporation. Based on this offer, the Bank offered me a relocation package. The package was always offered in connection with relocation to Phoenix for the express purpose of commencing a Sr. Human Resources Business Partner position. A material consideration in my acceptance of the offer was the promotion to a Vice President Level, Sr. Human Resources Position. This position was part of the Bank One Retail Lending organization.

Thereafter, the Bank failed to live up to its promises:.

1. Bank One Corporation announced that they were merging with J.P. Morgan Chase. My termination was over 2 months after the closing of the merger on July 1, 2004.
2. In February of 2004 I was told that I would have to re-interview for the position I moved across the nation to accept, a position supporting XXXX, Auto Finance Executive. I interviewed with XXXXXX, Sr. Human Resources Manager for J.P. Morgan Chase.
3. I was informed that the Bank unilaterally scaled back considerably my position in scope and responsibility. I previously supported 6 national groups for the Bank One Auto Finance Group. The new position would support only 1 of my original 6 groups.
4. I was misled to believe that I was, in fact, interviewing for this Sr. Human Resources Business Partner position. A conversation with XXXX, Bank One Sr. Human Resources Manager (My current supervisor at the time), disclosed that I was not being considered for his previous position, AFTER I interviewed with Mr.XXXXX. In fact, I was told that there could be no commitment to any position at that time.
5. My prior position was given to XXXXX, a Sr. Human Resources Business Partner, Vice President, who did not previously have responsibility to the Auto Finance Group. She previously had responsibility to the Default Management Group. She will be supporting XXXXX, Auto Finance Executive.
6. I was given a lesser position, in both scope and responsibility as a Human Resources Generalist, at a regional level.
7. This new position was a demotion, which made no sense in light of stellar performance reviews, as:
a. The position was not a Senior Level Human Resources Position
b. The position offered was not at a national level.
c. The position offered did not directly support a Sr. Executive Level Manager.
d. The position required that I report to a previously same level co-worker.
e. The position offered was approximately 2 levels lower that I previously held.
f. The position offered was not a Vice President level.
g. The position offered was approximately 1/4th the scope and responsibility of the position I was induced to move across the country to accept.
h. I was not offered a severance package in lieu of this position. Additionally, I worked months without knowing whether I would be offered a continuing or new position.

If you review my personnel file, you will find that throughout the last two years of employment, I performed all my duties and responsibilities well and to the expectation of my supervisors. I received an exceptional rating (“E” rating, the best an employee can receive) on my last performance review. The reward I received was to be lured to a new city across the country, then deprived of the career opportunity that the Bank promised me. Under these circumstances it is remarkable that the Bank would make demand for reimbursement of moving expenses. It is even more remarkable, given that I have personal knowledge of another employee for whom the Bank waived the relocation reimbursement provision, under far less egregious circumstances.

I will consider this matter concluded unless I hear from you further. In that regard, any further attempt to collect this alleged obligation will be handled by my lawyer.

Cordially,
Edward XXXX

So what was their response? A big ol’ lawsuit: filed in Ohio, none the less. (They had to make it more difficult for me by not filing in Arizona.) So I have been fighting this legal case for almost a year now. I’ve been representing myself, which has been a great learning experience. (Need any legal advice in Ohio? I can help ya…) Anyway, I’ve been bouncing back and forth with depositions, Motions to Compel Discoveries, Interrogatories, travel to Ohio, and certified mail like no tomorrow. It’s been extremely frustrating and honestly has been the source of most of my stress for the past 10 months. Now, let’s get something straight, I would of totally paid the bill if it was the right thing to do, but I am a person of integrity and character. It’s just not right to pay this when I was treated as such, and they broke the rules in the first place.

Finally, last month, the Magistrate in the case submits his decision to dismiss the case in my favor. (The Magistrate in Ohio submits the decision to the Judge and the Judge rules on the submission….99% of the time they rule for the Magistrate’s submission.) HOORAY!!!!!!! All is good with the world!!! And I can move on from this and live life again. Right? No. Bank One filed an Objection to the Decision to Dismiss. Fuckers. Now, I’m really pissed. (I mean come on…it’s fucking $3,900 dollars…to a trillion, yes, trillion dollar company….they probably have spent well over that in legal fees alone….I mean give it up guys!!!) So, now I have to fly to Ohio tomorrow, to stand in court and give my side to the case. I am flying to Cleveland for 25 fucking hours then heading back to Phoenix. Only to fly back 5 days later for the holidays. How fucked up is that? (yes, when I’m pissed I say “fuck” a lot). What really makes me mad about this is that I know my ex-coworker and ex boss is pushing this issue with the Courts. Why? Well, I know both people applied for my current position here at my new company. Yes, they are pissed because I got this job and they didn’t, leaving them with a crappy company named Chase. Augh. So how fucked up is that?

So, now here I sit thinking how messed up this all is, and how happy I will be when this is over. I know I am doing the right thing…I believe it in my heart and stand by my story. With that, I fly to Ohio tomorrow prepared to do battle in Court. I have good feelings going into it and a good attitude. Many people believe I should counter sue (which I could…with almost guaranteed success), but I’m not that type of person….I just want it to all go away. I’m just looking forward to the day I can take the judgment papers and send them off to Bank One and say “HA HA I WIN, FUCK YOU.” Keep me in your thoughts, and more light hearted funny posts coming soon….my christ it’s the holidays…always fun stuff to say about that.

Why I can’t see Brokeback Mountain

2005-12-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

One hot movie cast...
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God, I want to see this movie. Really bad. Why? Well, duh. Actually, after seeing the trailer, reading the bazillion reviews, and the beautifully done photographs (Not to mention hottie Heath Ledger…ok…Jake is cute too.) I can’t help but want to see this movie and the story that goes along with it. I just ordered “ Close Range: Wyoming Stories” by Annie Proulx to ready the original short story “Brokeback Mountain” to see if the adaptation to the film is as good as they say it is. I’m really, really excited to see this movie, as it’s a groundbreaking film.

But, unfortunately, there’s a big problem. It’s not showing here in Phoenix until December 16th. You figure with Phoenix being the 5th largest city in the country by population, they would release it here during the “premier” release weekend. New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco all got it for today…..but no Phoenix. My Luck. So, for the next week I’m sure I’ll be hearing how good the movie is from my friends in those “premier” cities. Yes, I’m jealous.

So I spend a good portion of the day trying to figure out where and when Brokeback Mountain will be playing in PHX. You figure this would be an easy google search, but unfortunately it’s not that easy. I’ve tried movie phone, harkinstheatres.com, and even Citysearch…..with no luck. I feel like “the man” is working against me on this one. (And all I want is to see a little man-on-man love story…what’s up with that? Man.) Oh yes, and god help you if you want to know what is playing a week ahead at the theatre. You can put in the date on most websites, but they are incomplete. Don’t these places know what they are playing next week? Augh…it’s frustrating.

So finally, I called the local AMC theatre by me to see if they had a clue on when they would be showing Brokeback Mountain. So I called the line and got the usual VRU (voice recognition unit) with menus and menus and menus. I tried my best at the button pushing and got nothing for Brokeback Mountain. So I did what any other normal intelligent person would do: Hit zero about 30 times until someone says “hello”. Here’s my conversation:

Me: (In a very masculine voice) “Ah yea, I was wondering when you’ll be showing Brokeback Mountain?”

AMC Employee: (Hick Texan accent) “Um…let me see…what’s it’s called? Boreback?”

Me: “No, BROKEback Mountain….it’s supposed to be released on the 16th”

AMC Employee: “Hmmm…never heard of it. (Shouts off the phone to another worker) Hey Sheila, you know when we getting Brokeback Mountain? Ever hear of it?”

Shelia: “Oh yea that GAY cowboy movie…we’re getting it I think next week!”

Long pause………………..

AMC Employee: “Um Sir, we should have that next week…check back later. Thank you for calling AMC theatres” (click)

Well……..guess that answers that. Either case, I have to wait until next week. I can just see Sheila from AMC making some “fairy reference” in the background. (Eh, not to worry, I fucked her boyfriend a couple nights ago…….….ah…I say that out of anger….or am I?) Anyway, so this is why I cannot see Brokeback Mountain. But in the meantime, my Amazon.com order should be coming next week with the book. So, I can read the story before I go see the movie. Books are usually better than the movie….but this movie has Heath Ledger in it…..I vote for the movie…and I haven’t even seen it yet.

3:34pm: A Slow Day At Work.

2005-12-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

If these Butts could talk.....
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

“Time goes by, so slowly. Time goes by, so slowly.” You ever have one of those slow days at work, where it’s so slow that you actually get pissed if the phone rings? I mean, god help you if you actually want me to do my job. Actually, it is a slow day here at the office. We have our “Holiday Luncheon” today. Boston Market is catering. Our company usually does a fancy schmancy dinner-event off site, but this year we have to cut expenses…hence, we now have turkey slices and mash potatoes on paper plates. Festive. They even have cranberry sauce….which is just downright nasty. Honestly I hate these holiday functions. I never have a good time, and all the fun happens when there is alcohol around…and well, that was cut too. Bummer. They did have door prizes, though. Unfortunately I didn’t win the $5 gift certificate to Safeway or the $25 gift certificate to Red Lobster. (Do people even still go there?) So to kill the boredom, I decided to book my next vacation to Puerto Vallarta.

Ah, yes, Puerto Vallarta. Going in February. Booked 4 nights at the Hotel Mercurio and got a great deal on airfare on America West/US Air. Just a nice long weekend down in Mexico. I’ve never been, but my friends tell me it’s a great place to visit and have some fun. Paul from San Francisco and Chris from Phoenix are both going to go. So I figure it will be a fun time to let the hair down and kick it with some hot guys in square-cuts. I’m locked and loaded…..ready to go.

Yes, it’s slow here at work. Do you smoke? I don’t. I think it’s a nasty habit. But, I’m coming to realize that there are some interesting benefits to the activity. So, here’s the deal: My office has a window. (Yes, I know….sounds glamorous, but it’s not all that.) My window is right next to the ashtray outside at the building exterior wall. The building has mirrored windows. Put all that together and you have wonderful entertainment throughout the day. So, I’m coming to realize that smokers have it good. Most smokers spend at least 30 minutes to an hour a day smoking and not doing their job. And on top of that, they gossip like no tomorrow. Fortunately, windows are not soundproof. I’ve heard some great conversations, and seen some really nasty stuff. It never fails that some overweight smoker will fix their makeup or clean their teeth right in my window. Augh. Nasty. I’ve had a guy adjust his manhood. I’ve seen some lady pick her nose. And I even had a guy lean and squash his but up against my window while he tied his shoe. (Although, that is ok, cause he had a hot ass.) What gets me is that these people HAVE to know that the HR guy’s office is on the other side of the window. Yet, this doesn’t stop them. Here’s a couple of things I overheard the smokers gossiping about:

(On a cell phone) “Well, FUCK YOU TOO you skanky hoe. You’re the fucking cheat! I better not see your slutty ass when I get home!” (Obviously, talking to his mother.)

(To another smoker) “I hate this job. I can’t believe I slept with my boss….god, he was so good though….he had the biggest dick.” (Hmmm…who’s this manager???)

“You know HR is on the other side of this window” “Yea, but they can’t hear anything, these windows are solid, and they can’t hear nuthin.” (That’s right…keep thinking that.)

“I have the shits….god I’ve been going to the bathroom like a billion times today” (She says this while she’s leaning on the window…augh.)

Anyway, smokers have it down. They definitely take advantage of the time, as well, as keep me entertained. I think one of these days I’ll start pounding on the window and freak them out. “Time goes by, so slowly. Time goes by, so slowly”.

Kickin’ it in El Paso

2005-12-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

Cervezas in Juarez, Mexico
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Muy Bulto! I had a great time this past weekend with a great group of friends. You ever take one of those trips where you just genuinely had a great time and things just went so well that you’ll never forget it? Well I had one of those trips. My travel companions Bill and Rick are incredible to go on trips with….you always have a fun time and the conversations are hilarious. Add my friend Josh in the mix and you’ve got a recipe for a crazy fun time. I have to admit; I didn’t think I would really care for El Paso considering my idea of Texas prior was Houston and Ft. Worth. But, this trip really was a great time. Josh who we visited was an absolute fantastic host and really gave us a great tour of the city of El Paso and the Mexican border town of Juarez.

The highlight of the trip for me was all of us walking over the Mexican/US border to the town of Juarez, Mexico. I had no idea how big Juarez was…we’re talking millions of people living in Juarez, which I believe is the largest border town on the US and Mexico border. We had a great time soaking in the culture and shopping the many deals to be found. We ended our day trip with a couple of cervezas, which was cheaper than dirt. Beer never tasted so good. I even learned a couple phrases in Spanish from my travel buddies…..I started the post with a slang phrase…..know what it means? (I’ll give you a hint…something I look for in a guy…) Both evenings we ended up at Briar Patch and San Antonio Mining Company two gay bars in town. Definitely had a number of friendly hot guys including our favorite Raphael, who had stunning eyes and a body to die for. If only his boyfriend wasn’t there….sigh. Of course there would be one hell of a catfight between all of us on this hottie if he wasn’t. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

We ended our trips with brunch in La Mesilla, New Mexico, which is right outside Las Cruces, NM. We had a great brunch at a restaurant called the Golden Eagle, which sounds like a leather bar, but is actually a historical landmark in conjunction with the Gadsden Purchase. The small town had a quaint town square with some touristy shopping places surrounding it. I would say the town should be known for the incredibly hot wait staff at the Golden Eagle…definitely gives new meaning to a “hot meal”. The flight back to Phoenix was uneventful, but nice as we all got upgraded to 1st Class and topped the trip off with a cocktail. Overall, a fun time and I look forward to future adventures with Bill, Rick and Josh……Puerto Vallarta anyone?

Out by the Trailer

2005-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

O' Christmas Tree
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Trailers, got to love em’. YEE-HAW! I’ve had a crazy red-neck, trailer, Walmart kinda week. Any let me tell ya’ll, it ain’t fun lookin’ for dat dem der Christmas tree. Yes, I am currently in a search for an artificial Christmas tree. I usually get a fresh cut tree, but since I live alone and I am traveling over the holidays, I thought it would be better to get an artificial one. I have this insane nightmare of coming home from Cleveland after the holidays only to find my place burnt down because of a dry tree and some faulty mini lights. So it’s time to get the fire retardant artificial tree to ease those fears. So, I began my search. I ended up at (gasp) Walmart. And here’s what happened.

I hate Walmart. No, really I do. The Super Walmart by me is also known as “Little Guadalajara”. It’s an absolutely crazy place with Mexicans running all over the place, insane children, crying babies, loud speaker announcements in 2 languages, and chickens running across the floor everywhere. (Well, actually the chickens are an exaggeration, but they would totally fit in with the ambiance.) Anyway, I go over to the garden department to see the selection of trees. I couldn’t find them anywhere. Were they hiding them from me as some cruel joke? I wondered. So, I asked the blue-haired senior lady at the garden register and she said: “Oh ya’ll need to check for dem out by the trailer!” Pause. Was this for real? “Walmart” and “trailer” in the same sentence? No it couldn’t be! But, yet it was. So I went out back “by the trailer” and sure enough there was a winter wonderland of real and artificial Christmas trees. I get outside and the trailer had a sign that said “Ho Ho Ho” on it and had mini lights all over the place. To add to the holiday spirit, they were playing Garth Brooks twangy Christmas tunes out of a portable boom box. (I personally thought it should have been Feliz Navidad, but Walmart must think there are no such things as Latinos and that everybody loves country music. By the way, you can own Garth Brooks new CD for only 12.99, available exclusively only at Walmart…yadda yadda yadda..) So I looked around and came across a couple artificial beauties. Pre-lit with either multi-color lights or white lights. I was looking for something more classic like white lights, but then I though: “I’m at Walmart…classy is just not in its vocabulary.” So I inquired about a 7.5 foot pre-lit Douglite fur. (Which was Walmart’s clever way of saying artificial DOUGLAS fur.) So the trailer attendant came out and asked if I needed help. (I was at Walmart….that is a weighted question to say the least…) I asked about the tree in front of me and he replied (and I kid you not): “Oh that one’s a beauty…do you want me to cut the bottom up for your tree stand?” Um….it’s an artificial tree. At that point, I politely excused myself and decided that I had enough idiotic people for the day……Target never looked so good. On the way home I imagined this guy trying to cut the bottom branches off an artificial tree, plugged in no less. I see sparks everywhere and the emergency room doctors laughing their asses off.

So now, I am getting ready for my trip to El Paso, Texas. WEE-HOO! I’m going with a couple of my friends from PHX to visit my friend Josh, who I have known for many, many years. We both grew up in Northeast Ohio, and he moved out to El Paso a number of years ago. I’ve never been, but I’m sure after a couple of drinks it will be a fabulous place. I honestly have to say, I hate Texas. I’ve been to most major cities in Texas, and never liked any of them. Although, there are some way hot guys in that state. Who knows, maybe I’ll be swept off my feet by a hunky cowboy. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to the upcoming movie Brokeback Mountain. So maybe this trip will get me in the mood for some country music and cowboy boots. I think as long as we stay away from the local Walmarts, it’ll be a great trip. Hell, I even got upgraded to first class on the flight out there…a good sign indeed.

Digesting the Holiday

2005-11-28T14:46:00.000-08:00

Freezing our Butts off at the Grand Canyon
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I had a great week with the family, well, part of my family. As you may know from my last post, I was expecting the arrival of my mom, little sister and older brother. Unfortunately, my little brother and older sister had to endure the early winter blizzard back in Cleveland. (Another reminder of why I live in Phoenix). We had a great Thanksgiving. The Jennie-O turkey was a hit. It cooked perfect and did exactly what is said it was supposed to do: Freezer to Oven to Delicious. Definitely going to do one of those birds next year. Here are a couple crazy stories (Cliff-Notes versions) that came out of the latest family adventures:

Thursday night we decided to do what every other American family does after Thanksgiving dinner: vege out on the couch watching TV. Bravo was doing a “My Life On The “D” List” with Kathy Griffin marathon that night. We ended up watching like 4 or 5 episodes of the show. We all laughed our asses off at the show. I guess good humor does run in the family. What was funny was that my brother Neil noticed that the background music in the show was actually his music. For you who don’t know, my brother is a professional musician. So, my brother stops us all from watching the show and goes “Oh my god, THAT’S MY MUSIC!!!” We all looked at him like the triptosan from the turkey had some weird effect on him. But, as luck would have it, it was his music. So there’s a crazy 6 degrees of separation our family has with Kathy Griffin. Who knew? (And now Neil knows why he’s getting those ASCAP checks.) www.neilzaza.com

Friday, my sister Anne and I traveled up to Las Vegas for an overnighter. We got my TL to over 100mph on some of the roads going up there. Made it there in 3 hours 45 minutes (aka: WARP 8). We checked in and went to lunch at Mesa at Caesars. It was an ok meal….nothing spectacular. But, what was spectacular were all the hot straight men crawling all over the place. I don’t know, it could have been the 5 Bacardi Limon and diets, or they could of genuinely been really hot. (I think they were really hot) Either case, we were having fun and letting out hair down. Then my sister introduces me to the $5 Blackjack tables. My little sister is a competitive demon on the blackjack table. She’s damn good. Spent about an hour or so there and then went shopping. Vegas does have some good shopping. But what makes this trip crazy is the fact that after all that drinking and shopping and gambling, we ended up passing out in the hotel room and NOT going out to PURE (a big fancy club in Vegas) which I had us on the list for. (I have connections). Out intent was to take a power “disco” nap at 8pm and be at the club by 11pm. We ended up waking up at 1:30am. Bummer. But, we did have a fabulous breakfast and got some good sleep. We had fun, which is all I intended the trip to be.. And didn’t feel any “clubbers guilt” for not going. Plus we had energy to do what we ended up doing the next day.

The next day, we started our journey home to Phoenix. (By the way, my mom and Neil took an overnight trip to Sedona….just in case you were wondering if we just up and left them…which we didn’t, of course) About 90 miles into Arizona, we passed a sign that said: GRAND CANYON 166 MILES. I looked at my sister and she looked at me. We both said “Let’s go see the Grand Canyon!” So with a couple punches into the Navigation System, and we were on our way! My sister Anne and I are both the types to just get up and do those spur of the moment things. And this was one of those times. So, we high tailed it to the Grand Canyon and took some awesome pics. We made it just before the sun was setting….perfect timing! It was about 29 degrees when we got there….it was friggn’ cold. So we stayed about 15 minutes took some pictures and then bolted back to Phoenix. Not before we made fun of all the foreigners in their rented cars in the Grand Canyon Parking Lot. We crack ourselves up on how un “pc” we can be. I put about 800 miles on my car…and it was totally worth it.

So today they left, and it’s sad to see them go. I had a great time with my family and it reminds me of why I love them all so much: alcohol. (kidding) Actually a family that drinks together, stays together…well, at least in my family. I just hope I can get my drinking tolerance up enough for the Christmas trip back to Ohio in 3 weeks. I’m looking forward to a tall beer at the Winking Lizard and some good wings….which we don’t seem to have out here in Arizona. And I have to loose 3000 pounds before I go out there, cause my mom cooks up a storm. Ah…..Christmas is coming soon. But right now my biggest dilemma is this: Do I put up Christmas decorations this year? Eh, who knows….I just might.

The Calm Before The Storm

2005-11-22T17:34:00.000-08:00

Giving it one more try......
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

So, it’s the eve before the eve before Thanksgiving. I sit here writing tonight cause I am just in the mood to write. Maybe it’s the Michael Buble CD playing, or maybe it’s the beautiful evening weather….or maybe it’s just the calm before the storm. I’d normally be drinking a nice glass of wine right now (brings out the writer in me), but unfortunately, I have been recovering from a nasty case of food poisoning from late Saturday night. Have you ever had food poisoning? This is like the 4th time I can remember having it. AND IT SUCKS. I decided to have one of those nice relaxing nights alone at home on a Saturday night, catch up on some Tivo and enjoy a nice bottle of Zinfandel. (NOT White Zinfandel, which means you have not a clue on what good wine is…sorry to offend anyone who actually likes the stuff, but come on…most people who enjoy White Zin get it out of a box. Open your mind and get a nice Riesling or even a Fume Blanc….you’ll be glad you did and become a wine snob like the rest of us. Anyway back to my story…) So I stopped by Trader Joes and got a pre-packaged Chicken Enchilada meal (refrigerated not frozen), a bottle of wine and a couple other things for the freezer. So, I got home and ate the Chicken Enchiladas and about an hour later I got sick. Got the chills, the sweats, and my stomach felt like a scene out of Aliens. No sleep that night and some how I managed not to vomit everything up. Which now, that I think about it, I probably should of done. Cause the next 2 days my intestines felt like they were going into contractions to give birth. (And I have no idea who the father is…) Yuck. A perfect diet before the holidays, though. Today I feel much better.

So much in fact that, I was able to get all my baking done for the family coming in tomorrow. I baked 2 pumpkin pies, an almond raspberry tart, and a green bean casserole….which are all damn good. (Thank you very much.) So, now I’ve just finished cleaning my place to make everything presentable. Had to hide the porn. Which everyone does when they have family coming over. Doesn’t matter if your gay or straight, you always have to hide SOMETHING from your parents. Be it porn, pot, toys, condom wrappers under the bed, you name it…there’s always something. Now, I’m fortunate enough that my family is way cool with me being gay…in fact too cool sometimes….so I don’t have to hide EVERYTHING. But, if they went into my bedroom closet they would see my porn collection that would make a librarian and the dewy decimal system blush. Who knew Falcon had THAT many titles?

The highlight of the coming week is going to be Friday. My little sister (who’s not really little when she’s 27 years old.) and I are going to ditch my mom and older brother and drive up to Vegas for the night and party like high school girls in heat with some of her friends from Cleveland. My mom and brother are going to take a road trip up to Sedona for the night. Two different trips. One of spiritual vortexes and the other drinking spirits like vortexes. We’ll all meet back at my place on Saturday night and compare notes. Of course what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But, in my case, NOTHING happens in Vegas. Every time I go to that city, it sucks. Never have a good time. Not to mention the gay scene is just a joke up there. So this time I hope it will be different with my little sis. I always have a good time with her and we both can drink like drunken Irish sailors when we are together. So, I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ll bring plenty of Advil.

The family flies home on Monday. I’m sure I’ll have stories…lots of stories….next time I write. In the meantime, I’ll just kick back, listen to Michael Buble, relax, kick my feet up and enjoy this calm before the storm. (And maybe watch a quick porn…)

I'm Trapped.

2005-11-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

Instant Thanksgiving.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Yes, I’m trapped. One of the things I absolutely hate about living in a multi-unit complex is the fact of when people decide to move. Yes, it’s a really happy moment in their lives: new place, probably bought their first home, they are moving to bigger better and more happy places. Unfortunately they always decide to park their “Happy Moving Truck” in front of my garage. I’d ask them to move the truck, but why bother considering they are going to be moving all day. It’s amazing how much junk people have. I never knew it took a whole truck to move a Precious Moments figurine collection. Additionally, why do people insist on moving at 7:00am on a Saturday? “BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP….” It’s not like the truck itself was loud enough that they had to put the on loudest back-up beeper. I mean, what kids are playing behind a moving truck at 7am on a Saturday? Then, of course, they start loading the truck. Who knew that they were moving steel beams and throwing them directly on the bare metal of the truck. “BAM BANG CLANK SCREACH GRIND BAM!” Who needs an alarm clock when I got neighbors like these? Well, at least temporarily. They could have at least hired some beefy movers to watch. I can’t wait till my building goes condo. Not like that is going to make THAT much difference, but at least it will cut down on the “Happy Moving Trucks.”

So today I have to buy a turkey. Gooble Gooble…it’s fucking Thanksgiving, people. Have you gotten YOUR turkey stuffed? (That was bad I know…but I totally think that every time I pass the frozen turkeys at Safeway. I like that saying almost as much as “getting your kitty punched”. People see me laughing in Safeway. If they only knew…). So I’ve decided to get one of those Jennie-O Frozen Turkeys in A Bag. I’m all about having a good piece of meat, and well, I had one of these last year. It was just as the label promised: “From Freezer to Over to Delicious”. I debated getting a regular frozen or even fresh turkey, but then I remember that you have to gut the damn thing. Talk about a crash diet. I wouldn’t be able to eat for a week if I had to pull a heart, liver, kidneys, and what ever the hell else out of the bum of a turkey. Fisting a turkey is not my idea of the holidays. So, that’s why this Jennie-O bird is such a great idea. Take it out of the bag…pop it in the oven, and viola! It’s Thanksgiving, dammit. Who is this Jennie-O anyway? I want to shake her hand…as long as I know she wasn’t fisting her birds before….yuck.

So the family is coming in all the way from Northfield Center, Ohio. (Which is a southeastern suburb of Cleveland). Not all the family is coming, just my mom, my older brother and younger sister. I have a relatively large family. I have 2 other siblings, who will be in Ohio enjoying the cold weather and snow….and fisted turkey I’m sure. I have a sitcom family. I love them all like no tomorrow, but when you see the mechanics of my family, you think you saw something special….like a sitcom or a Broadway musical. We say “fuck” at the dinner table, we’re all loud, we argue, we laugh, we cry, we give hugs, we eat pasta, and we drink….and that’s all within 10 minutes of getting together. Imagine a “Fran Drescher like” family without the New York accent. As my siblings would agree, you have to give a disclaimer to people when they meet my family for the first time. The disclaimer being “You will be drinking, you will blush a number of times, and you HAVE to be yourself.” If you don’t get along with my family….you’ll never make it in my world. We all have polar opposite personalities and we all get along. It’s weird…..but it works and it’s my family…which I do miss. That’s why I’m excited to see them.

So it’s off to Safeway……watch out Jennie-O, here I come! (Just clean those hands.)

My Confessions on a Carpeted Floor

2005-11-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

Forgive me father, for I am sinning....
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Madonna, the gay icon. You know, she’s a big whore. Well, actually I don’t know that for sure, but you have to admit if you were married to Guy Ritchie, well, you would be too. He’s smoking hot. Anyway, I downloaded “Confessions on a Dance Floor” yesterday. I have to admit, it’s a really good album. BUT, I forewarn you, it is not a “dance” CD by any means. Actually, it reminds me a lot of Ray of Light. She definitely has influences by Gwen Stephani and Kylie Monogue. It’s a great driving CD; car tunes to the core. Over all I would say “it’s got nice lines, a fun frisky use of color….all in all, I’d have to say it’s….not bad.” (Romy and Michele reference). I’m sure when Hex Hector or some other DJ gets a hold of the album, they will come out with some amazing remixes, and totally “homo” it up with shimmers and sparkles and shit. Anyway, it’s a good album. Favorite tracks are “Sorry”, “Let it Be” and “Forbidden Love”.

I have a confession to make……on a carpeted floor, even. I called in sick today. I haven’t called in sick in over 3 years…and I feel horribly guilty. It must be my Catholic upbringing. So, as penance, I decided to clean the living hell out of my place….even, scrubbed the showers and toilet. (which was clean already, thank you very much.) So after I said 2 Our Fathers, and 3 Hail Marys, I decided to hit Scottsdale Mall to do a little retail therapy. You know, who knew there were that many hot guys at the mall at 2pm on a Wednesday? So I ended up at Crate And Barrel and got cruised by this totally hot couple buying flatware. Well, wouldn’t you know it, I was buying glassware! All I needed was a hottie buying dishes and we would have had a dinner party! How fabulous. (And gay). So I proceeded to check out and the girl at the counter asks me: “Do you know them?” I turned around and the flatware guys quickly turned the other way. SO obvious they were looking. So, the counter girl goes: “Well, if you don’t know them, they sure as hell want to know you.” I laughed out loud, because she (the counter girl) had some balls to say that. I said: “Well, if they want it, they can come and get it…cause I would totally go there!” She blushed. The guys then scurried downstairs to the furniture department. Looking for beds, obviously.

So, now I’m at home writing this blog entry and listening to Madonna. Thinking about some other confessions, I need to make. I confess, I totally took my TL out this morning and blew some carbon out of the tailpipe. I never knew 270hp could be so much fun. Sunroof open, music blaring…and gunning it all over the place…..if felt so good. Felt good to get some frustration out. Fuck those BMW 3 series…my car could kick it’s ass. In fact, I totally blew past one on the 51….damn it felt good. Next confession: I confess, I like Cher more than Madonna. Even though this album is good, I like Cher more. Shocking I know. But, you’ll all have to get over it. Final confession (for today): I confess, I have and mini crush on…….well……hmmm……I’ll keep you guessing. (And, it’s not what or who you think…)

My Life, My Documentary.

2005-11-13T19:59:00.000-08:00

IKEA, The Pseudo Gay Bar
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

“And…..ACTION!” My life this weekend was sorta one of those whirlwind weekends that could have been filmed as a documentary. You know…shaky camera angles, a voice over narrative, and people just being people? Well, this weekend was filled with lots of fun and a little bit of drama here and there. I often wonder if I ever did a documentary, would people actually watch it? Is my life that interesting (or boring) that people would find entertaining? I mean, let’s face it, documentaries are pretty darn cool......especially if you have some vested interest in the subject matter. And even more so if it’s got some plot to it…drama….sex…..nudity….hell, even some porn stars would be quite cool. Of course…now that I think about it, that would actually BE a porn. Eh, that’s cool too. But for the sake of blogdom, we’ll stick to the cockumentary…oh wait…I mean documentary. So I guess I’ll start my weekend recap documentary with a recap of the events that I like to call: “Bars, Booze, Boots and Boys at IKEA”.

Have you ever been to IKEA? I have, and well….if your gay…you probably have been too. I often wonder why the place just doesn’t put up a bar, string up a disco ball, and invite Hex Hector to spin right next to the PLYTIK Dishware or LAHOLM sofas. I love going to IKEA for the mere fact that it’s such a hodgepodge of society. You’ve got heteros, homos, metros, mexicos, African americos, lesbos, and even a hobo or two. All shopping in perfect harmony under the IKEA signage telling them what to buy and how to place it perfectly in your home. It’s amazing what clean design, functional furnishings, and Swedish meatballs can do….life is perfectly harmonious…all is right…god is upon us and he gives us good gifts of HENSVIK bookcases and KARLSLUND loungers. Unfortunately, when you get outside to the parking lot, it’s a fucking free-for-all get the hell out of my way, “That’s MY god dammed parking spot, you stupid whore!” reality, we’re all forced to face. Then you get the shit home and it NEVER looks as good as it did in the store. And let’s not forget the hex wrench. BUT, it’s all worth it because you bought it at trendy IKEA. And if it’s from IKEA, it’s fabulous…..or at least that’s what Madison Avenue is telling me. Newsweek did a great article last week on how IKEA has become a cult….much like Apple, but on a global scale. Anyway, so I was there yesterday and bought hangers (HANGSHIRTO), towels (DRYURDUPAS), and paper napkins (MESSYFASE). I know, how domestic of me.

Last night went to the M.E.A.T. Military Party. Don’t ask me what the M.E.A.T. stands for, I’m sure it’s something sexual….(well duh)…but I never thought to ask. I’m sure a billion other guys will be blogging the party as well…maybe even some pics will come out of it. So here’s the deal, you had to dress up in military garb to get in, let alone score an invite. I was lucky to have a friend who offered to give me an invite. The invites were these nifty “dog tags”. I don’t really know why you even needed an invite. They didn’t really check to see if I had an invite, they sorta just waved me into the door of the house. Eh, who knows…I thought I looked pretty hot in my camo pants, polished army boots (pants tucked in) and green army tee. Anyway, I brought along Travis, who looked good as well. (If only his gym hotties could of seen him….) It was a pretty sizable party; I’d say a couple hundred guys or so. Some dressed as I, some who went in full marine blues. (Which I have to admit was hot…very hot). There was the usual bar crowd people, online people, the rowdy sports club people, some ACTUAL military guys, local gay politicians, and even a girl or two (as scary as THAT sounds). To this day, I still think it would be a great idea to have party where everyone wore their screen name on a nametag. It would be SOOO much easier that way! Back to the party…… It was the pooh-pooh platter of the gay community in PHX. Needless to say after my 3rd Bacardi and diet, I had to “pee like a race horse”. Well, that’s when the party started to annoy me. You figure with 4 bathrooms you’d be able to get in and out with no problem. Not the case. And well, you know…when YA GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO. So I waited in line (no kidding) for 25 minutes. When I finally finished, I dreaded…no, FEARED…waiting in that line again. So I decided to get one last drink, and then hit the road. Before I left, I met the most amazing guy!!! (Well, actually that is a lie…..but wouldn’t it of been cool if that DID happen?) Actually, I just went home, had a protein shake and went to bed. But, I did have fun. Which is the reason I wanted to go anyway. And to get some face time in the crowd. Who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll be approached by a nice, sane, hunky, masculine guy who will ask: “Hey didn’t I see you at the military party?” And I’ll reply: “YES, SIR!”

So the weekend ended up with me going to Scottsdale mall to buy some clothes and skin products to shake off a little depression I’ve been fighting. Nothing big, but just have had a lot of time to think about some things. I recently gave some advice to a friend that’s been making me think. There’s a saying” “It’s not the situation, but how you respond to the situation.” I guess I’m thinking about some of the situations I’m in lately and looking at those situations. Eh, in time….nothing earth shattering, but I do believe I need to wrap some things up personally. I guess I need to start looking at situations realistically. I tend to read into things too much…and well, I need to start having fun again. Especially since we’re getting around the holidays. This will be my first holiday season being single in over 6 years. Actually 7 years if I count my ex before my ex. So, I’m not really excited about the whole holiday thing. Yea, it’s getting me down a bit, but I believe in keeping myself occupied. You know the more I think about it…I should be blaming Wal-Mart. Well, they are the ones putting Christmas shit out even before Halloween! Yup, there it is…..Wal-Mart! DAMN THEM!!!! Gosh, doesn’t it feel good when you can blame Wal-Mart? Anyway, I’ll conclude my post…err…documentary with a quick music update.

Alanis Morissette: Crazy (James Michaels Mix). Alanis remade my favorite tune by Seal. I came out when this song was released back in the early 90s. So it’s sorta my “coming of age” song. She does a great job remaking it. It’s got a more modern feel and well, Alanis’s voice fits perfect. Sorta reminds me of how I feel now…………..

Behind the 8 Ball

2005-11-09T21:56:00.000-08:00

Oh, wise one...
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s funny, as crazy as the world can get, I sometimes take a minute to think about what has transpired over the past couple years. I usually get really frustrated and then I try to center my thoughts on the future and what could be. I don’t necessarily believe in luck, although a huge win on the powerball would have been nice. Instead I find my self being very futuristic and asking myself questions. As crazy as this sounds, I find a lot of humor and solace in the Magic Eight Ball. Yes, you read correctly, the Magic Eight Ball. Now, before you go and start thinking I’m a total looney, you need to understand that since I’m not an oracle, or don’t really care to spend the $9.00 a minute charge for the Psychic Friends Network, or really care for a book on palm reading,…… a Magic Eight Ball is just as good as anything else. I’ve tried the fortune cookie thing, but I can only eat Chinese every so often, and well…..who has a bunch of fortune cookies sitting around? And you can just forget Horoscopes…..they are so “all over the place”. You figure they would all be the same…they all come from the stars don’t they? Eh, it’s all up for interpretation. I mean, you’ve got Horoscopes, HOMOscopes, Love-o-scopes, Career-o-scopes, hell you even got WHORE-o-scopes (and if you’re reading those kinda horoscopes…well…..you’re calling ME the looney one?) Anyway, the Magic Eight Ball is pretty darn good….nothing can be left to interpretation. And well, if it doesn’t know….it just says “Ask Again Later.” Pretty honest little ball if you ask me. So here’s a number of questions I asked it tonight and the answers that floated to the top……

“Is my hair brown?” A: YES, DEFINITELY. (Thank god, cause I am totally growing in the salt and pepper thing….so M8 gets kudos for making me feel better! I knew it wouldn’t let me down!)

“Will 2006 be a great year?” A: MY SOURCES SAY NO. (Well, THAT sucks. Who are these damn sources anyway? (silence) MMmmm Hmmm, that’s what I thought!)

“Will I meet any datable guys soon? You know, the ones without fatal flaws and shit?” A: WITHOUT A DOUBT. (Hooray!!!! There’s hope! That’s my ball! Keep up the good work!)

“What about a big raise and bonus from work? “ A: IT IS CERTAIN. (Fuck yea! I smell a far away vacation! A shopping spree maybe? It’s ALL good to me!)

“Will I have sex in the next 2 weeks?” A: YOU MAY RELY ON IT. (Well, goddamn. Right on!)

“Will that sex be HOT sex….not that boring bad stuff…you know what I am talking about.” A: ASK AGAIN LATER. (Ooooo, I don’t like the sound of that….NOT AT ALL.)

“Will Travis hook up with one of the 3 hotties in his gym?” A: MY SOURCES SAY NO. (Sorry Trav…..I tried.)

“Aside from sex, will I ever fall in love again?” A: OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD. (Must be talking to those “sources” again. I think you need new sources…cause they ain’t very positive…..)

“Will I get those Big Arms I want for Christmas?” A: MY SOURCES SAY NO. (Well, FUCK those sources…I’ll show them…..what do you have to say about that!!? HUH!!??)

“Sigh…ok…Will American Idol be worth watching this season?” A: MY SOURCES SAY NO. (OK…we're done here.)

Needless to say, Mr. Magic Eight Ball, is not in a very good mood tonight…but maybe a week in the desk drawer will change his mind.

"Must See" Colorado

2005-11-08T21:03:00.001-08:00

Great Sand Dunes of Colorado
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I had a great time this past Saturday in Colorado. I finally got to see the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado. My friend Jeff and I (and his dog Chancey) jumped into his Yellow Dodge Dakota and hit the road to the dunes. It’s quite an amazing site to see. The sand dunes tower over 700 feet high and cover an area of over 60 square miles. Once there, we hit the park at a great time where the sun was lower in the sky (4pm). The place looks like your in some crazy Saudi Arabian sand desert. The wind was very high and it was quite cold as well (probably in the 30’s with wind chill). But, the views are simply amazing. Words cannot describe how beautiful the place is and how just plain “in awe” you are of these sand dunes. You can walk all over these dunes as well which is way cool. We climbed up some of the perimeter dunes of the park, which is a great workout for your calves….remember it’s pure sand you are walking on. It’s amazing, your footsteps essentially disappear in minutes due to the blowing sand. When you look around all you see are the huge sand dunes and white capped mountains in the near distance. It’s quite wild. I took some amazing pictures on the dunes. Definitely a “must see” in Colorado.

http://www.nps.gov/grsa/

2005-11-08T21:03:00.000-08:00

Garden of the Gods & Pikes Peak
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Sunday, we decided to go take a walk at the Garden of the Gods Park here in Colorado Springs. Again, another beautiful natural park filled with rock formations that remind me very much of Sedona, AZ. There’s great red rock formations all over the place, that people can actually rock climb. In fact, there were a number of people rock climbing all over the place. I was sorta taken back by that considering that most national monuments/parks have strict rules on rock climbing to preserve the park. Not here. It was a rock climbing free-for-all, everywhere you looked. Made me want to take up rock climbing , because I can only imagine the views. The park had the perfect backdrop as well: Pikes Peak with snow at the top. Again, took some great pictures. That night Jeff and I and his crazy-cool-fun friends had dinner in Manitou Springs, a quaint mountain town at the foot of Pikes Peak. Imagine a tiny town with shops, restaurants and bars, but with a total “ski-lodge town” kinda feel. I felt like I should be carrying skis or a snowboard. Overall, had a great weekend. The weather was perfect, the company was great, the beer was COLD, and the quesadillas and margaritas were awesome.

http://www.springsgov.com/page.asp?NavID=987

Dessert In the Desert

2005-11-02T15:31:00.000-08:00

A slice of heaven.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Mmmmm, pumpkin pie. A sign that Fall is upon us. I love pumpkin pie….in fact, I could eat a whole pie all by my lonesome self. (Hopefully I won’t have to). From my last post, I stated that I was going to eat the whole gosh darn pie out of frustration. Well, I’m glad to report that I didn’t. I ate half. I was totally out of Redi-Whip, so it just added to my frustration…so I stopped at half. Sigh, my luck. Then I proceeded to the gym…and then felt better about my guilty pleasure of pumpkin pie. Did I mention that I make the “best mutha fu**ing pumpkin pie” on Earth? Yep, I sure do. It’s won prizes all across the land, from the rolling hills of Ohio to the Sonoran Desert of Arizona. (Actually, I am embellishing a bit. But, can you imagine going over to some guy’s house and seeing blue ribbons all over the place for having won contests for pumpkin pie baking contests? I mean, really, how queer would THAT be?) You too can bake the best pumpkin pie, though. Just use the recipe on the back of the Libby’s Pumpkin can. Yes, there you have it…I revealed my deepest dark secret to baking. Just make sure you don’t use that nasty Pumpkin Pie spice shit…..it tastes nasty…use the real spices singularly. Anyway, I wanted to mention that I like to cook….and pumpkin pie is one of my best talents. Now, if I could only make an omelet…..

I started my afternoon lunchtime workouts at the Bally Total Fitness up by my work. I decided to renew my Bally membership, because they practically begged me to come back, and let me renew at an insane price (under $90 a year). For those of you who don’t know, I used to work for Bally Total Fitness, and I can tell you they would do anything, and I mean anything, to get you to be a member. Even have sex with you. (kidding…..or am I?) Not as pretty at the LA Fitness by my house, but yet, a good way to get energy throughout the day. Unfortunately, (fortunate to some of you), it has those shower rooms instead of single shower stalls. Which, I like to call “gang bang” showers. I quite honestly don’t care for these showers. Not that I am self conscious, shy or uncomfortable or anything. But, it never fails that some creepy fat guy goes into the shower area next to me. This, of course, happened today. Now, if it were some hot hunky guy, well, then there would be a totally different story, but it never happens that way. Needless to say, the “hot” factor in this gym is quite low…at least at lunch time. Maybe that’s a good thing, as it will keep me focused on my Christmas gift to myself…..big arms. (See previous post).

One of Those Days...

2005-10-31T16:22:00.000-08:00

You ever have one of those days where, everything and everyone just frustrates the living hell out of you? Well, I am having one of those days. I’m not much for public venting, but I figure it’s time to let you all know of a couple things that freak’n piss me off. I like to consider myself a very upbeat, positive and forward thinking person, so this is rather uncharacteristic of me. So here’s a couple things that frustrate the hell out of me:

• Annoying and whinny people. Ok, sure, we all have situations in life that are bad. And, ok, sure, we all like to bitch now and then (like right now for me), but there comes a point when you just have to GET OVER IT. But what really pisses me off, is when I have to do someone else’s job, when they should have been doing it in the first place. And then, they take credit for it. If you want to really piss me off, this would be the way to do it professionally. I am only thankful that my boss saw this as well.

• The Bush Administration. What the fuck are these people thinking? I swear the cities of Toronto and Vancouver never looked so good. This newly ultra-conservative nomination (Alito) is just another shining example of the complete disconnect the Bushies have with the MAJORITY of America. The only glimmer of hope is the slow, but steady stream of indictments of Delay, Libby, and hopefully Frist, Santorum and Cheney. I just cannot believe how out of touch these people are and how much the hateful religious right has influence over them.

• Fatal Flaw and Flaky Guys. Ok, here we go again. If you are going to make a date with me, please keep it. And if you are going to cancel, please give me the courtesy of calling me and letting me know you are going to cancel. This seems to be a theme lately on the dating scene. As for the Fatal Flaw part, where are the guys who don’t have strings attached, or some other crazy flaw? Hey, we’re not all perfect, but I’m coming across some guys with some MAJOR issues, that quite frankly, scare me. Example: No Job, No Car, No idea where the hell they are cause they are screwed up on drugs, No concept of normality…the list goes on. We all have flaws….but when it comes to fatal flaws…well…I’m not interested. This is getting me a little depressed. Where the hell is the romance? I need to be swept off my feet…not under the carpet.

• Women Drivers. God, I KNOW I am going to piss a lot of people off by saying this, but, why the hell do they get a discount on insurance? I had 3, yes, THREE women cut me off today while driving. One was on a cell phone, the other was putting on makeup in her rear-view mirror, and the other was just a dumb blonde in a Hummer H2. Yea, I was pissed. Bitch.

• Halloween At Work. I love Halloween just as much as the next guy. But at work, it gets a little out of hand. People just don’t think when they do “drag” at work….and bad drag at that. Also, all rules of decency do not apply when you come as Pamela Anderson Lee with boobs the size of basketballs. I’m not being cranky on this, but if I have to tell one more person that what they wore to work is a little inappropriate, I’m going to go insane. (Although, I have to admit…very creative costumes….just not at work).

So there’s a couple of things that pissed me off today. Not a complete list, mind you. Gosh, I feel so much better! I think I will make myself feel even better today by eating the pumpkin pie I made last night….from scratch. Of course, I’ll feel guilty and go straight to the gym to work it off. Almost done with the Al Franken book…and it’s a good one! Definitely a great read. Looking forward to this weekend. Going up to Colorado Springs for 4 days and hopefully will be going to the Colorado Sand Dunes. I’ll definitely take some pictures as long as my Cybershot hold up. Until then…….

MSP, The Truth & a Butch Xterra

2005-10-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

Al's next best seller.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’ve gotten to the airport way early…3 hours in fact. So now, I’m waiting for my plane to Phoenix. America West only has one gate here in MSP, but that should change soon since US Airways has 3, I believe. I actually got to see one of the newly painted planes here at the airport, a very nice, but yet boring paint job. This merger thing still has me nervous, considering America West was making money and US Air was in bankruptcy…the second time in 2 years. Only time will tell. If worse comes to worse, I’ll turn to United or Southwest. Although Southwest has no first class or elite program. Did I mention I got upgraded? DRINKS ARE ON ME! (in first class).

I had a nice time in Minneapolis. The meeting here was extremely productive and I feel like I accomplished a lot work wise. We’re putting together a common orientation program or “onboarding” program for over 35,000 people across the country. It’s a new initiative to try to get people more connected with the company and improve the overall “great place to work” kinda thing. There are 7 of us on the project team…so we have our work cut out for us. It’s great exposure for me, and hey, gets me to Minneapolis every so often. Had some fun on Monday night, and Tuesday night I crashed and surfed the net. There’s definitely some ‘interesting ones to see’ here. If I had more time, I would love to explore this town a little more. I had the perfect car to do it in too. I rented a Nissan Xterra to tool around town in, Unfortunately, I was pretty much at the hotel the whole time. I have to admit; I looked damn good in that SUV. I had the whole look down when I picked it up: Worn Jeans, North Face Parka, Oakley sunglasses, short hair…..damn I should have been in the commercial.

So on my way back to the Airport, I had to run to the Mall of America (don’t cha know) to pick up Al Franken’s newest book “The Truth, With Jokes”. I was so excited about this book, as I read a really good review in the USA Today . I read his other book “Lies and The Lying Liars That Tell Them”. It was a freakin’ hilarious book, that was extremely well written and, quite frankly, one of my favorite reads. If you despise the radical right as much as I do, you should read both. Al’s comments are so right on. He’s a straight shooter and uses an extreme amount of common sense and humor. This is a comment from Al about his book:

“I present THE TRUTH not just to shock you, not just to make you laugh and cry alternatingly, or maybe even at the same time, not just to set the record straight – but to rouse you, to prepare you for battles ahead. The only vaccine powerful enough to inoculate you from the lies is the truth. This book is both sword and shield. With jokes.”

I’m so excited to start reading this book on the way home. I read his other book in 2 days. I expect the same with this one. I’ll keep you posted on what I think of the book when I finish.

My Biggest Stalker Fan

2005-10-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

Mary Tyler Moore Statue in MSP
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

The Twin Cities, yes, Minneapolis/St. Paul. “Your gonna make it after all…” That’s right Mary, it’s freaking cold. The high today here was a balmy 44 degrees and as I write, I’m sure there’s snow blowing in this evening. If not, it should. Cause’ it’s damn cold. Although I do love trips to the northern cities. It reminds me of why I moved away to sunny PHX. I'm here for work. I have a huge project I am working on and I am the only representative from my division of the company. Should be productive. Although there are an insane amount of hot guys here….must be something in the water.

Yesterday I had the CRAZIEST experience. About 9pm last night I went to take out the trash (literally), and as I opened my door, there was a note stuck in between the crack of the door. So, as I opened my front door, this note fell out of the crack and onto the ground. At first, I thought it was a menu from Janky Changs or Guido’s Pizza, but it wasn’t. It was a bone fide note. A hand written pen and paper note. And here’s what it said:

“Are you interested in guys?”

I was sorta taken back by this. Was this God, asking me some divine question? Wouldn’t he rather of used his booming voice, or sent Mary in some glorified vision? So I stood there…trash in hand, the note in the other and just dumbfounded. Do I like guys? OF COURSE I LIKE GUYS…well, duh. In fact I love em’. Dammit. So then I thought, who the HELL would leave this kinda note, and not even leave a number or email or even a popcorn trail leading to his (or her) house? Now think about this, did this person expect me to raise my hands to the sky and scream “GOD, YES…yes!!! I am interested in guys, dammit Yes!!!!!” I mean, come on.

So now, I am dying with curiosity on who this mystery writer is. I think it could be my new neighbor across the way that leaves his windows open. I catch him looking into my place every so often. In fact, walking around nude in my place doesn’t happen much anymore, cause it’s sorta freaky. Well, if he was hot, that would be another story.....but we won’t go there. Also, I think it’s rather bold (albeit very HIGH SCHOOL) to sneak up to my door and leave a little note. I know some of you might find it romantic and all...but I find it just weird. It definitely looks like a guy’s handwriting. I’m just glad it wasn’t a note made out of cut out news paper letters….you know like a stalker/killer.

So to you, the incognito writer, here’s your answer “Yes, I dig dudes, dude.” And for your information, please leave some means of getting a hold of you…cause I’d like to teach ya thing or two about proper note etiquette. And if your stalking me, well, you better be damn cute.

Friday Fun with Ms. Dayne

2005-10-22T16:19:00.000-07:00

AZ88, A Favorite Restaurant in PHX
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Well, I can now officially say that I saw Taylor Dayne. The show was an absolutely wonderful time. And, let me tell you, that woman has got one hell of a voice. A screaming black diva in a white gal’s body. Wow. The venue was pretty good. The concert was a fundraiser for Body Positive, our local Aids task force group. It was at the Scottsdale Center For Performing Arts, which is conveniently located right next to one of my favorite restaurants AZ88. So, as you can imagine it was swarming with homosexuals, heterosexuals, metrosexuals, metrosexuals that are actually homosexuals, and of course a slew of fag hags. (I use those terms in jest, as I refuse to be overly PC). The night started out with Kelly and Bill coming over and then driving over to the venue. I always have a ball of fun with these guys. They are they type of guys you’d want to hang out with when you want to let your hair down and get all loose-lipped and just KNOW you’re going to have a good time. Of course that usually happens with me with anyone, after 3 cosmopolitans.

Anyway, we started out at AZ88 and it was pretty crowded for 6:00pm on a Friday. Most people were going to the show next door, but I’m sure there were a fair share of other people there to eat as well. After about 3-4 drinks we moved over to the venue. It was like a huge club inside. A DJ was spinning, the drinks were flowing and the gays were throwing drama all over the room. Yes, this was a gay event. The fun of having Kelly and Bill with you is that they know a lot of the little things that you would never know about people in the room. Of course I found it humorous at how familiar some of these people looked. You know, would life be easier if just people would wear their screen names on a nametag? “Oh YOUR hungdude4u!, You look so much taller in your pics.” “Now wait, you can’t be TOPJOCK35…you’re like 60 years old.” Of course, the three of us comparing notes got all the info we could possible need. Imagine having a Rosetta stone for the gay online world.

No sooner did I figure out who HUNGJOCK4U was, then we were being directed into the theatre to see the show. Kelly got us great seats, of course as he would concur, there are no bad seats in the place. Kimberly Locke opened the show and did a pretty good job. I have to admit, she was pretty good for being the looser on American Idol. Well, I didn’t mean “looser”…hell, she did get a record deal. She finished her performance with the song “Over the Rainbow”, which she did a great job. I wonder why she picked that song? Hmmmm.

Taylor Dayne finally made it on the stage, and she really held court. This woman can sing, gosh darnit! She sang all the tunes you’ve grown up with. To many to list, but it brought back memories of 1987 and high school in the back seat of a Chevy Celebrity. Sigh. Anyway, one point to mention is that she had a really hot guitarist in her band. Very cute. Also, her back up singer was pretty darn good as well. All in all, it was a great night.

Woke up this morning with a bit of a hangover. Nothing that 4 Advil Liquigels can’t handle. So this morning, I did a ton of laundry and starting to plan out my next trip to Minneapolis. Going there Monday for three days for work. It’s been crazy at work. Had to lay off 112 people here in Phoenix. The good part is that I wasn’t alone in delivering a message like that. I had 2 managers with me. A lot of people freak out when they hear stuff like that. I was lucky that the people took the message pretty well, and that they have a 90 day working notice period, before they go out on severance. It’s the part of my job that I don’t like, but yet, it is my job. I try to structure the message in as much of a positive light as I can. It’s hard but yet, it’s got to be done.
That’s why I needed last night…to remind me that life CAN be fun as well. It was a great way to end a hard week. Now, just looking forward to relaxing as much as possible this weekend. More stories to come, I’m sure of it.

www.az88.com
www.phoenixbodypositive.org

I Often Wonder....

2005-10-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I often wonder if Emily Post would have written a book for “Polite Rules for Conference Calls”. I’m currently sitting in my San Francisco office on a conference call. I’m merely on this call for observation, and to make sure that no one is doing anything illegal Human Resources wise. Unfortunately the guy talking on this call is the most insanely boring monotonous Indian guy you have ever heard. So imagine: a thick accented and monotone voice talking about some technology issue. It’s enough to make you jump off the Golden Gate Bridge (at least here in SF). There’s about 9 people on this call, and each person is doing SOMETHING not very polite. For example, there’s one person, who we’ll call Edie the Eater. She’s talking on the call chomping on her breakfast of Crunchy Crunch Bark and Styrofoam cereal. I can tell by the annoying crunching that people in Nevada can hear…cause it’s so damn loud. I guess she never heard of the saying “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Another person, who I like to call Tim the Typer, seems to love beating up his keyboard to the point I can hear the plastic flying off the computer. I know he’s not taking notes on the meeting, I suspect he’s chatting with his next trick on AOL or some other instant messaging service. You can just tell, short bursts of typing and then short pauses. I suspect his screen name would be TIMTOPTYPER4U. It’s called the mute button, buddy. Then there’s my favorite “impolite” conference caller: Trish the Telecommuter. Since when does a conference call involve having your 3 month old on the phone with you? This baby was crying like it was being shaken by a British nanny. Then of course her dog was barking in the background, and the doorbell rang twice. I think the cable guy was installing in a new cable box and the other one was Fed Ex dropping off a package. The fact that I even KNOW this is a sad example of how annoying it was to have her on the call. Of course, there was also a person on a cell phone at the airport, who was leaving for flight 149 to New York on American Airlines. I know cause it sounded like the gate agent was announcing the flight on the phone, it was so loud. SO now, I have the incredible urge to announce “Will all off you rude people, please MUTE your lines so I don’t have to hear your business!!??” ERRR….freakin’ annoying!!!

Having a great time, otherwise, here in SF. The weather here has been insanely beautiful: 80 and sunny. The weekend was wonderful. Paul and I tore up the town on Friday night and Saturday. Visited a number of watering holes and just an all around fun time. Paul is a great friend to have in such a fabulous city. He knows SO much about SF and is able to maneuver the city like a well oiled machine. He is the ultimate guide to SF, and I consider myself lucky to have him as a good friend. Friday we went to a club called 8. We had a great time. Good drinks great music, but a lot of Asians. And let me tell you, these Asians were quite forward….my ass was grabbed way too many times. They must have a thing for 6’3 Midwestern guys. One practically tore my jeans. I was a bit PO’ed on that, but I think he got the idea that I wasn’t into Asians. Now if he was a hunky Italian? Well, that would be a different story.

Sunday we ran away to Sonoma to escape the city. Paul had use of a fabulous Mercedes SLK 2 door convertible. Top down, driving in wine country, perfect weather, sun shining,…..I mean, could it get any better? I just needed a pair of Jackie O’s and a long white scarf flowing in the wind….too glamorous. We also had use of his friend’s house in wine country, which included a huge pool. So there was 4 of us up there and laid out by the pool, and had a fair share amount of beer. It was just wonderful. The drive back was amazing as the sun was setting and as we drove over the Golden Gate the moon was full, and hanging low just over the city. It was like a post card. I do love this city. Very romantic.

Well, it’s back to PHX, and looking forward to the sunny weather, and the Taylor Dane concert I’ll be attending on Friday. Should have lots to write about that.

When did CNN get HOT?

2005-10-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

Roberts "Giving Good Headlines"
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

The Hampton Inn here in Springfield, Illinois is simply the most luxurious hotel one can imagine in this god forsaken town. Actually, the Hampton has done a good job reinventing itself into a “hip” low cost hotel that caters to the 20s-30s. They have new graphics all over, free breakfast, and free high-speed Internet, all in a “High Style bought at Target” kinda feel. It’s definitely better than a Motel 6 or your local HoJo. I guess when you “grow up” you get to go to the Hilton or something. I personally love the Starwood Hotels Group. Like the obviously gay in your face W Hotel. And we’re getting one in Scottsdale!!!

So, I’ve been sitting in my hotel room, minding my own business, when I come across CNN. Headline News, specifically. I was shocked an amazed to see that the on-air personalities were secretly replaced by hunky Men’s Fitness models. I immediately came across hottie Thomas Roberts “giving good headlines” as the hourly anchor. Could this guy be any hotter? I mean, his picture on the CNN website does not do him justice (or anyone in their on-air talent pool). He could give me bad news any day of the week.

Then like a Midwestern thunderstorm, Rob Marciano comes blowing in. He totally reminds me of Antonio Sabato Jr. The guy is one hot Italian. Every time I see this guy, I drop everything and just watch him. All I hear is “blah, blah, blah, blah…” I mean who cares about the weather when you’ve feel breaking news in your pants.

And then there’s Steve Overmyer. When did Abercrombie & Fitch lend it’s models to CNN? Did I miss the memo on this? I mean, again…another looker. All these guys are incredibly good looking and make news MUCH more interesting. I’m already a news junkie, but now I have even more incentive to watch CNN. God help me if they ever move to FOX. I would suggest updating all of the pics on the CNN website, say..... with shirts off?

All Points Bulletin

2005-10-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

They want WHAT!!??
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

That’s right, I’m officially putting out an APB for single guys in their 30’s. I’m 32 years old and trying to find a single gay guy in his 30’s. You figure it wouldn’t be that hard, especially in the nation’s 5th largest city by population. But alas, there seems to be a huge shortage of guys in their 30’s. Browsing the classifieds, or even surfing the online world, still shows that the number of 30 something guys is proportionately low. There’s PLENTY of 20 somethings, and more than enough of 40 somethings….but gosh darn it…not enough guys age 30-39. It’s not that I have a problem with guys NOT in their 30’s, but I’d like to find a guy to date relatively around my age. 22 is just too young, 44 is just too far from my age to relate. God, I sound like Goldie Locks…..”this one is JUST RIGHT!” Well, until I find that “well fitting” guy, I’ll pursue those elusive 30 somethings where ever they may be hiding.

My experience in the dating world had definitely been an adventure. I’ve found 2 types of guys out there. First, you have your guys who are out JUST to get laid. I’ve come across plenty of those. The “Wham Bams”, as I like to call them. These are the guys you meet online, or in a bar, or at a party. They have one thing on their mind, and usually pursue you for one reason. Although I am happy to oblige some of the time, these guys just end up being a fun time and nothing more. Wham Bams aren’t looking for a relationship, and although some may have potential, they still have only one thing on the mind: getting laid. Nothing wrong with this, as we’ve all been in Wham Bam moods, and hell…we all need to get laid.

The other type of guy is the one who is DYING for a relationship. I like to call these guys the “Husband Hunters” or “HH”. HH guys are actually great guys, but unless you are also a HH, there’s no way this is going to work out. I’ve met a number of HHs in my single days so far. Some have all been hot guys with total potential, but not for me right now. They are ready and willing to pick out that China Pattern at Macys. I give these guys a lot of credit as they usually know what they want, and go for it at 120% and at WARP 6. Unfortunately, sometimes they can end up being stalkers as well. In this case a police restraining order comes in handy. Boiling rabbits on the stove top, is never a good sign.

I, on the other hand, am dead center of these two types of guys. Just playing the field and weighing out my options. Sorta take things slow and see where they end up. I’m totally open to dating guys, but just not ready to move in after two weeks of knowing someone. Sure a wham bam is nice once in awhile, but meeting a guy and actually going on a real date is nicer. Eh, hey… if the date has a wham bam too….ok…I can do that, but shouldn’t be expected. I met a guy recently who asked me what was my expectations before we went on a date….and I said “none”. I think that statement made the date go SO well. And, no, it didn’t end up being a wham bam. Although I would have been more than happy for it to be, I actually got to know the guy and well…..it was nice. Of course he lives 500 miles away…..which is a whole OTHER blog entry: “Why do all the good ones live far, far, far away?”

So, in closing I though I would leave you with an absolutely insane personal ad I came across, that show’s just how crazy the gay dating scene can be. If you can’t figure out what the letters mean, ask a friend. Enjoy, and happy dating!

AD from Craigslist: Desperate and eager for total submission and humiliation. Need a top who gives orders and takes complete control. Am prepared to do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE. Especially need public humiliation. Am ready for ws, cbt, bondage, forced nudity, forced workouts. Ready to be in public wearing whatever I am ordered. Am excellent cocksucker, but expect that will only be my reward for performing well. Need to be challenged and tested. 6'1", 185#,32w, 44c.

Can you say “issues”? Sounds like someone you’d bring home to mom, huh?

Powerballs & Porn Stars

2005-10-08T22:55:00.000-07:00

The $3 Thrill.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the Powerball. Can you imagine? Wow….that’s a whole heck of a lot of money. $240 million, in fact. Of course after the government takes it share, it’s ONLY $112 million. Do you think you could request that the money you pay in taxes could NOT go to any Bush agenda items? Unfortunately, I haven’t won the Powerball, and don’t plan on it, but yet, I’ll still play…cause you JUST never know. Have you been Powerballed lately? Wait……don’t answer that. Today I was trying to think of creative slogans for Powerball and here’s what I came up with:

“Have you played with your favorite balls lately? Powerball”
“Get Powerballed!”
“Bigger Jackpots, Bigger Balls”
“You’ve got 2 we’ve got 6. Powerball”

Now think, if you actually DID win, what would you do? I know that I would definitely quit my job, and travel the world. I’d buy a couple houses and then just live off the interest and enjoy the finer things in life. Nothing too extravagant. My family would be taken care of, and a select group of friends. Definitely would change my phone number. Isn’t it amazing how we can just sit and imagine for hours on winning a large sum of money? Sigh. I’ll let you all know when I win on Wednesday. And if you win, I’ll forward clothing sizes and a wish list or two. (Hint: 3 letters: B. M. W.)

Last night I went out with my good friend Travis. The night seemed to have this “porn” theme to it. We started our night out by going to Castle Mega Store over on 44th street. For those not from PHX, Castle is a porn store. Yes, you know, the place you buy those naughty videos, condoms, lube and all the other fun stuff that makes you a total sinner in the eyes of every right winged Christian man, woman, and child. (You’re a sinner and you know it, gosh darnit!) Anyway, by request of myself, we stopped there so I could pick up some “items”. No, it wasn’t any toys, videos, or that leather harness thingy-ma-gig….that’s what the internet is for. ;) (Don’t worry, not a leather daddy here) While I was there I kept thinking that I would just LOVE to work at a porn store for about a week. The stuff people buy there would fascinate me. I would probably get fired from asking too many questions. “Sir, would you like any condoms to go with that 12” double dong?” “Miss, you are aware that you’ll have to buy D size batteries for that vibrator…oh wait!…I see it has a plug (raised eyebrow)…never mind….that will be $109.” “Your total is $69 dollars….no way!”

After our little jaunt to Sinner Mart, we went to this new bar called HOMME off Camelback. I love this new bar…it’s so cool. It’s a loungy, everyman’s bar. Something for everyone. Multilevel, and intimate. Unassuming and unpretentious. Plus it had a vibe all it’s own. I just hope that it doesn’t fill up with the drug/looser crowd. Definitely where I would like to hang out. Anyway, Matthew Rush was there with some other porn star. He’s in town working on a play called “Making Porn.” I’m sure it’s a Pulitzer-winning story line with riveting acting and a plot…..NOT. If you’ve ever scene a porn, you know why those people are in porn…and it ain’t because of their acting. He’s a lot shorter than one would think…still a big muscle guy, but shorter. Of course, everyone is short to me.

We ended the night at Roscoe’s, which was dead last night. It was wonderful…the smoke level was the lowest I have ever seen it! Travis and I played darts and he totally kicked my ass. Maybe it was the 5 Bacardi Limon and diets? Eh, who knows…we had a great time and got to catch up on some good stories. We were also graced with the presence of Jeff and Rick, and Mark the Rocket Scientist. Always fun to see and been seen with those guys.

The night ended with the ceremonial trip to Denny’s. It’s amazing what one will eat at 3am. AUGH.

www.powerball.com
www.phoenixhomme.com
www.roscoeson7.com
www.castlemegastore.com

Something Special in The Air

2005-10-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

My Breasts can be used as Floatation Devices
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Ah yes, the joys of travel. As some of you may know, I have been traveling a lot for work. My work tends to take me all over the Western US to wonderful destinations like San Francisco, San Diego, and Colorado Springs. But next week is going to be one hell of a travel week. Looks like I get to go to the cultural megalopolis of Des Moines, Iowa; the epicenter of civilization known as Springfield, Illinois; and then it’s off to SF for the weekend and early parts of the following week. (Yes, I’ll be a little jet lagged considering I have to do all of this travel in 5 days.) I found this picture from Hooters Air…how fun would it be to fly THAT airline? Big Bouncing Boobs in a Boeing. You have to admit…it would be cool…just to say you flew on “Hooters”. Sorta like going to a topless show in Vegas….could care less about the boobies…but the costumes were FABULOUS. www.hootersair.com

But yet, I love what I do. Working in Human Resources is just too much fun not to like it. I like to call HR people the “flight attendants of business”. I would guesstimate that over half of all men working in Human Resources are gay. How do I know? Well, just go to a Society of Human Resources Management convention, and there’s more drama thrown around the room than Joan Crawford with a wire hanger. Just serve liquor, put up a disco ball, play the latest Cher track and you’ve got a Pride festival. Those queens (I’m not really queeny…well….maybe after 4 appletinis…) just flock to the HR departments of most major corporations. It’s quite an observation if you ask me. Think about it…..you ALWAYS know who the new hires are, get to see the HOT guys that may be interviewing, and know ALL the dirt going on in the company. Call me crazy…but it’s the truth.

Although I love my job, traveling can be quite a chore. But I have traveled enough to give everyone some simple advice on traveling the “Not-So Friendly” skies. Some tips:

1. Buy an iPod. I have this magnet for “talkers” sitting next to me. There’s nothing more annoying than having Martha from Minny sitting next to you giving you her life history about her divorce, job, plastic surgery, or out of body experience with Shirley McClain. Simple “uh huh” with a slip of the headset takes care of that problem right away.

2. Get to the airport early. Nothing is more annoying than rushing to get on the plane at the last minute. You’ll never see more dirty looks from passengers that holding up the plane from taking off on time. Flight attendant’s really hate this as well. I think they pee in your drink if you do this.

3. A fold-over suit bag with everything stuffed in it…WILL NOT fit in the overhead bin. Seeing these businessmen try to stuff these bags overhead is like watching a 3 year old put a square block in a round hole…it just doesn’t work. Check it. Plain and simple. Watching these people is quite entertaining. When they are told they have to check their bag, it’s like watching a small child leave the clutches of their mother’s arms on the first day of school.

4. Don’t kill the gate agent for weather related delays. I’ve seen these poor people get torn down by total idiots who demand that they get on another flight when the wrath of god is playing outside in thunderstorms. My thought is this: Let them. Just put them all on a plane and let it take off. Cause when the plane gets struck by lightning and goes down in a fiery ball of flames…I’ll feel better knowing that their needs were met.

5. And finally, smile and be nice. It goes a long way with the flight crew…and if you’re lucky you’ll get a free drink…..or a hand job. Hey…being in the mile high club DOES have its privileges…..

iPodding Through The Weekend

2005-10-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

iPodding
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

This week was a great week for new music for me. A lot of people when they are bored go to the movies, or go to the mall, or even go to the bars. Me? I have this crazy little habit of surfing iTunes and spending my way, 99 cents at a time, through boredom. Well, this weekend wasn’t too boring, but yet, I had some downtime to surf through some new music that’s worth telling everyone about. Here’s what I discovered:

Sheryl Crow, Wildflower. Well, it’s official; I’m a Sheryl Crow fan yet again. Lance Armstrong must be doing something good to that gal. She really nails it hard on this album. Good mix of rock, acoustic guitar, and a bit of folk in it too. Favorite tracks are “Good is Good” (which when it hits the radio airwaves, we’ll be sick from overplaying), “I Know Why”, and “Always On Your Side”. That last one resonates particularly deep with me. Makes me think of past relationships.

Hope Partlow, Who We Are. OK, This girl can sing. If you’re into the likes of Avril Lavigne, Lindsay Lohan, Toby Lightman, you’d dig this album. Yea, it’s total muff rock, but it’s the good kind. If she’s promoted right, she’ll probably go far. “Who We Are” and “Sick Inside” are keepers on this record.

Faith Evans, Mesmerized (Freemason’s Radio Mix). Alright, I KNOW I’ve mentioned this one before, but it’s just too much fun NOT to have in your library. Total “Cha Cha Heels” tune. Gets you in that mood to go out and kick it at the club. This tune wakes me up on the morning commute. If you see a silver TL weaving in and out of traffic, this is what he’s listening to.

Jamiroquai, Dynamite. Love this group…loved them for years, and love them once again. If you’ve never been exposed to this group, you’re missing out musically. It’s quite hard to describe this group: Disco, Funk, Trance, R&B, meets Motown, meets Alternative…….it’s just one big hodgepodge of stuff. But, gosh darn it, it works! “Don’t Give Hate a Chance” is quite spectacular (and “secret gay”). Also recommend “Starchild” and “Dynamite”.

LeAnn Rimes, This Woman. If you know me, you know I love girl country music. My little LeAnn has all grown up! I was getting nervous a couple years ago…she was getting quite “Britney Spearsish”…and well, she’s not a whore. Thank god, she figured that out. Whore or not, she brings us a great country album with some great lyrics coupled with some great music. “Something’s Gotta Give” is just awesome. Makes me want to go out and buy a Ford F-150.

Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business. Yes, I know…I’m late to the party on this one. For some odd reason I never had interest in this group, but I broke down and downloaded the album to see what all the hub-bub was about. Now I see the light. This group is just a ball of fun. “Don’t Lie” and “Don’t Phunk With My Heart” are just all around fun tunes to listen too. But you know the inner black woman in me loves “My Humps”. Just listen to the song…you’ll know why.

So there’s a little glimpse into my iPod(s). Those tunes got me through the boring parts of the weekend. Aside from the music, went to the “Rainbow Festival” here in town this weekend. Not too bad…..uneventful if you ask me. The usual people with shirts off, who shouldn’t have shirts off kinda crowd. Went to Charlies last night…and it reminded me why I only go to the place every so often. But I was with some great friends of mine, and they make going out all worth it! ;)

Conservatives vs. Colorado Lesbians

2005-09-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Pikes Peak
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Greetings from Colorado Springs, Colorado! The place that I like to call “The Most Conservative City in the West”. Actually, COS (that’s the airport code) is an absolutely beautiful place with some of the most scenic views of the Colorado Rockies and Pikes Peak. Unfortunately, my efforts to take some pictures of the place were post phoned by a cold front that passed through the minute I got here. Low clouds and fog have hampered any efforts for a photo opportunity. Additionally, my Sony Cybershot is on it’s last leg. Thank god for Google Image Search. This pic seems to capture what I would have otherwise taken with my camera. The trip has been pretty good so far. I met a great guy up here who I had so much in common with. Anyone that has Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion on DVD is and instant hit with me. We ended up having dinner both nights and had some great conversation on everything from politics, to travel, to funny stories of crazy situations. Did I mention he’s a hot guy too? Makes me look forward to my next trip to scenic, beautiful “Jesusville in the Mountains”.

Speaking of the “Lord”, I passed the headquarters of Focus on The Family on my way to the office here in COS. Can you believe that they actually have signs on the I-25 highway letting people know to exit? Are there that many people going to FOTF? The parking lot is always empty except for maybe a “pope mobile” or two. I cringe every time I pass that place going into the office here. I wish they would focus on their family, and not mine. I was actually planning to “egg” the place in protest, but noticed that they had security cameras all over the place. Hmmm..something tells me that those people have thought of that before, hence the “high security”. You’d figure that would be a big clue to them. Eh, like they care, they got Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Bob Jones. Sometimes I just wish these people would just get a clue, or be struck by lightning, or catch fire by a burning bush or something.

Speaking of burning “bush”, there sure are a lot of Subarus out here! Those Colorado lesbians sure do hold court in Colorado. I noticed a ton of very butch “ladies” in the office, and yes, I saw some of them getting out of Subarus. What a stereotype. Sorta like gay guys driving Volkswagens. (I owned 2 in my time). They travel in packs around here too…..was driving in this morning and there was a group of Lesbianese walking a couple dogs by my hotel,…… yes, they were your friendly neighborhood Power Walking Lesbians. It was really foggy though, so I could only make out the short hair, baggy pants and the jingle of many keys on key rings. “Lesbians in The Mist”. At least they were happy and focusing on their “Family”…..as I’m sure FOTF was as well. Well, it’s off to Denver to catch my flight back to PHX. No upgrade to first class….bummer, I sure could use a drink.

The Push, The Gym, a Bad Bottle of Wine, and a Webcam

2005-09-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

Drink at your own RISK!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

By reading that title you’re probably thinking that this post will be some hell-bent torrid sex story with an Internet audience…..well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not. But, what I can tell you is that it was a weekend of highs and lows. The weekend started with dinner at Delux, another PHX “secret gay” place, with my friend Tim. Had a great time and made an obligatory appearance at Amsterdam for a couple of drinks. It was a pretty slow night there, so only stayed for a couple of drinks and left within an hour of being there. What never ceases to amaze me though, is the arrogance of some guys. As we were leaving we were making our way to the door, and some idiot just stood there and would not move out of the way. I was sorta taken back because well, I’m 6’3, and people, by nature, usually move out of my way. Sorta makes me the “tour guide” in crowded places…you know like those tours at museums where the guy holds up the flag and the crowd follows through? Anyway, the dude would just not move, and he had a football field of space. I really couldn’t figure it out…did he want me to trample all over him? (You know some guys are into that stuff). Anyway…I finally essentially pushed the guy out of the way, and probably knocked his tiara off in the process. So what’s the lesson here? Push idiots out of the way and well…you’ll get out of the bar. Maybe it’s my Midwest upbringing, or maybe it’s just common courtesy…who knows….but definitely arrogance, and he had NOTHING to be arrogant about. Ask my friend Tim.

My Saturday was pretty boring. Went to the gym, did a back workout and worked on the arms. I’m obsessed with my arms as it’s the one thing I want. BIG arms. In fact that’s the top of my Christmas list this year, “big god damn arms”. Nothing is sexier to me than hot arms…and well….a hot….everything else. Hey why not go for gusto? As for Saturday night, I made myself some chow and opened a bottle of Beringer Chardonnay and decided to empty out my Tivo machine. Unfortunately, either the wine was bad, or I had a migraine coming. Yup, a migraine. Haven’t had one of those in about a year, but it hit…like a Mack Truck. So, I crawled up my stairs, took 4 Advil a Xanax, hopped into bed and curled up into a ball and passed out. Ah, life was good about 20 minutes later.

As for Sunday….it was pool day. My complex has a great pool. Travis usually comes over and we lay out….and every so often there’s a hot guy or two. As it turns out, the pool was filled with all these girls from the complex. But what was funny was the 2 lesbians in the pool frolicking (and fondling) with each other. One of the “gals” was HUGE, in a muscular kinda way. The straight girls were a little quiet, and kept staring at the lesbians. It was a little strange…kinda like watching an episode of Zena, but with bikinis and a pool. After a “dip with the dykes”, Travis and I went shopping at Chandler Mall, where I broke down to the marketing genius of Steve Jobs and bought an apple iSight for my Powerbook. Yes, I have a webcam. Well….not a “webcam”….just the hardware….ah….never mind…I see puns flying all around the room. Anyway, if you have AIM or iChat, I should be able to do video web conferencing. Hopefully I will use it…..for legitimate reasons….of course.

Well, this week should be fun…flying to Colorado Springs, which I like to call “The most conservative city in the West”. I’ll try to take some pictures, as the landscape there is quite beautiful. Maybe I’ll even have a story to tell. There is an Air Force Academy there………..

Hello FEMA? Are you there FEMA? Hello?

2005-09-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'd like a large pepperoni, with extra cheese....
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Happy Hurricane Month! Well, here we go again, another hurricane, another gallon of gas at an impossible price. There’s been so many blogs, news stories, and personal stories on this hurricane situation(s). Stories of tragedy, loss, reunions, anger, and despair. Makes you wonder how stuff like this can happen to a “civilized” country like the US. Just another failure by the Bush administration. The failures just keep coming. FEMA failures, Economy woes, a shattered and overextended military, Church intermingling with State, a destroyed middle class, and a greatly divided country that reaches to the core of everyone of us. I mean come on, the guy won’t even meet with Cindy Sheehan as a symbolic gesture. Every time I drive on the freeway and see a “Bush/Cheney 04” sticker on a car, I purposely cut them off….or at least I wish I would. Does anyone see this? (that was a rhetorical question….cause I know you all do.) And now, with a $200 Billion dollar price tag on Katrina (god, only knows how much for Rita), our children will be paying for these disasters. Even though we HAD a surplus of billions and billions (if not trillions) of dollars when Clinton left office. Sigh…sad isn’t it? God help those who need help, cause getting help is going to be the hardest part of the journey. www.redcross.org

Today was pretty status quo. Although I am totally noticing a difference with my workouts and gains on the NO2. I’ve seen some major results in only 4 days. My friend Paul in SF started on the same supplements today as well…he’s says he’s seen some immediate effects…like more energy and a better workout. Had dinner at La Grande Orange, with a friend of mine tonight. That place is really quite swank. The pizza was awesome, and the conversation was great. It’s always great to discuss my hometown with someone who knows Cleveland/Akron. I highly suggest the place. Reminds me of Delux on Camelback…but Pizza. Yet another one of those “secret gay” places in PHX. You know, one of those places that are filled with fellow homos, but you’d never guess it cause they act all butch and are surrounded by hot women who love hanging with their “main stay gay”. Parking was a major bitch though. Check it out!

Would You Buy Cookies From This Man?

2005-09-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hey der Cookie Man!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

If your answer is no, then your blind AND stupid. Of course you would. Any guy that is that good looking and offers you angelic food with a devilish smile, well….dammit I’m sold! Why can’t girl scouts look that good? Actually, Stephen Charles Lincoln, that’s his name by the way, started The Protein Bakery in response to a more healthy choice in bakery. I’ve personally tried the treats, and well…they are just damn good. My first exposure was to his brownies in a Chelsea café in NYC. The whole gimmick is that the bakery is VERY high in protein and balanced nutrition. Those gym bunnies love this stuff. I’ve also ordered a number of brownies online. One word: AWESOME. He’s gotten some great press on his company, and his baked goods were even found in the Emmy & Tony Awards Gift Basket! And well, if by eating them you can look good as him, well…..COUNT ME IN. www.proteinbakery.com

Went to LA Fitness today, and started my new supplement regimen. Trying this new form of NO2, that’s supposed to be twice as effective as regular NO2. Doing some heavy Creatine as well. We’ll see if it works. “La” Fitness is STILL crowded any night you go. I still to this day cannot understand why they feel a need to continually over-sell that place. It makes for a very annoying workout. But I think my biggest bitch about that gym is the music they play. You’ll go from Snoop Dog to Celine Dion’s whinny “All By Myself”. Now, who the hell works out to that? I was waiting for someone to slit his or her wrists on the elliptical machine! Thank God for my Ipod. I wish LA Fitness was a little more like Crunch Gym….where they have a DJ on certain nights. (Now, HOW gay is that?) Just serve liquor, put up a disco ball and you got a gay bar. But seriously, they do have cool DJ’s at the one in SF, NYC, and I think ATL (My friend Bill could vouch for that!) Be much more motivating….like my new favorite song to jam in the car: Faith Evan’s Mesmerized (Freemason’s Radio Mix). On iTunes, of course. Dat’s right cookie man, yo cookies, got me mesmerized!

My Life on the "E" List

2005-09-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

Kathy Griffin: My Life on The D List
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

My Tivo (aka DVR) is full. I’ve been so busy traveling, work, and just doing stuff around town that I have not had a chance to clean out the god-forsaken Tivo machine. I guess that is a good thing, considering that if I watched THAT much TV, I’d be a blimp with a can of Pringles in one hand and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in the other…(I do love that Chunky Monkey). BUT, my favorite time to catch up on television are those lazy Sundays or rainy days (which rarely happen in PHX). One of the shows I Tivo”ed” was Kathy Griffin: My Life on The D List. Every so often television produces a gem of a show that gets little or no exposure. As reality shows go, this one was actually entertaining to watch. I laughed my butt off at the witty humor and impromptu situations that Kathy and friends find themselves in. Yes, it’s heavy on the “gay” thing (it’s on Bravo for god sakes!) but it does it in a way that is both tasteful and funny. I just crack up when you see Kathy’s super-fans….usually some wacko gay guy who brings her gifts of scented candles and spa products. Quite weird if you ask me. Anyway, I was totally hooked on the show only to find out it was only a 6 episode installment. My Luck.

Ever wonder what list your on? A,B,C, Double Z, it’s amazing how we classify ourselves on lists. From high school, college, at work, and in social circles we always classify people in groups or cliques or even “lists”. “Oh that’s a “A-List” party….did you get invited?” Amazing isn’t it? So I pose the question: “What list are you on?” Now, think about this…..one person’s A could be another person’s D.

Today at work, I had a manager accept a resignation from an employee….only to have the employee rescind the resignation 4 hours later. What would you do? Well, if the employee was that stupid to resign without thinking it through….then my advice was to not hire her back. And let me tell you, she was stupid….not to mention bitchy. Never bite the hand that feeds you. Ah, the joys of working in Human Resources. I do love my job…it’s never boring, and could give me a ton of material if I ever wanted to be a stand-up comic.

More Ho's For the Valley

2005-09-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

Valley Ho
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Today was yet another beautiful day in sunny PHX. And I was driving through Scottsdale today and came across the construction, or should I say "re-construction", the the Hotel Valley Ho. Ever since I moved to PHX this has been "under construction", surely delayed by some finance snafus or conservative republican politics. But it looks like NOW it's finally getting built and looks like it's coming along nicely. It's a boutique ho-tel, that take's it's gimmicks from the fabulous 50s-60s. And if they pull it off, its surely to be where the seen are to be seen, you know, the Paris Hilton types (no dogs please). Check out the website: www.hotelvalleyho.com

Will it work in PHX? You better believe it, we have enough ho's in this Valley to fill that place up lickity split. The boutique hotel war is heating up here in PHX. With the mildly successful James Hotel, the swanky downtown Clarendon Hotel, and the soon to be built uber-she she W Hotel, there will FINALLY be more choices that your run of the mill Sheraton, Hilton or overly done resort like the Phoenician (aka. Joan Collins from Dynasty threw up 80's all over the place kinda look).

Speaking of the Valley, and the hoes that roam free.... Went out last night with Travis to take a whirlwind tour of the bar scene. Amsterdam was doing very well with the addition of the new coat room....oops I mean Club Miami. I have to say for all the hype they put into that place....it's TINY. Also, it didn't seem really "done" either...amazing what some white paint and blue indirect lighing can do. Needless to say I hung out on the Amsterdam side. The night ended up at Charlies....aka "Last Chance Charlies". Charlies is Charlies is Charlies in any city that it is in. Although Charlies in Chicago is the most fun, as my friend James would attest to that. Not much going on there...same people....although a couple guys caught my eye...emphasis on "a couple"...not "a lot". An uneventful night, but yet always good to see "my peoples" and the drama that comes along.

The Ipod Nano & Me.

2005-09-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

Nano Nano
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

My latest purchase from Steve Jobs. Hey, yea I'm a sucker for cool design, and quite frankly....I actually enjoy it. Especially on long walks in a downtown, on a plane looking out the window, or on the eliptical machine at the gym. There's something religious about buying an Ipod at the SF store....or maybe that's Madison Avenue telling me that. Ah heck...it's cool....and you know it. ;) Got the White one 4gig.

Blah, Blah, Blah....Blog, Blog, Blog......

2005-09-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

OK...so I was thinking.....as private as we wish out lives are, we have these things called blogs. So many of my friends have blogs, I decided to be one of the sheep in the super information highway....and continue on with my own. Crazy, Huh? Well, I guess I'll start this wonderful little tidbit of my life with my last work trip to San Francisco. Had a great time hanging with my friend Paul and did many wonderful things, did the Castro, which wasn't the Highlight of my trip. Yea, Castro is cool and all, but my god, there are so many more things in that city than Castro. Yes, a trip to the motherland is quite fun, but not San Francisco.
Sunday we went to the annual Opera In the Park, put on by the SF Opera. It was in Golden Gate Park, with about 10,000 of my best friends...all on blankets, drinking wine, eating cheese, and I saw more sterling silver serving sets that I care to wish to acknowledge. Some people brought these nifty coffee tables that looked like they were right out of a Pottery Barn catalog...a little excessive if you ask me. But, yet it was an amazing concert...and truly what SF is all about. Art, Music, Diversity all wrapped up in a wonderful urban package.
The rest of my trip was filled with work...but something quite crazy happened on Monday night......say around 10:30pm "ish". A my path crossed with someone that just threw me for a loop. I'm not ready to go into the story on this blog, but when the time is right I'll explain. It's one of those experiences that make you realize a lot about yourself, others, and life in general. For the first time in a long time, I've really looked at many aspects of my life and realized that life is more than just what you see.....it's about perspective, and what you make it. I've always said that, but now I'm realizing it. Sometimes it takes just one person to make you realize this. And that person has gotten me thinking.....a lot.

More to come.

SF May 29, 2005

2005-06-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

Bridge
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Times are a changin'

2005-06-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone. Well, this is it...my official blog site. I figure I have a lot of free time now, so might as well make use of it by being productive....hence, a BLOG. According to "Emily Post's Polite Blogging Volume 24", I guess this is where I tell everyone a little about myself and who I am. I'm 31 and live in Phoenix, also known as the Valley of the Sun. Yea, it's hot here...but it's a "dry heat" (just take a hair dryer and put in in your face...THAT's a dry heat). I do enjoy the desert lifestyle and all that it offers in the way of outdoor activities and opportunity. For those of you that don't know, PHX is the 5th largest city by population, and it's growing faster and faster which makes it a pretty cool place to live. Lots of different people from different places.

I recently became single after almost 6 years in a relationship. It's been hard moving on from it, but I know both he and I will make it through the adjustment period and move on with our lives. I have a feeling we will be good friends. I like to be active in most things, I love being outside and enjoying the 320 days of sunshine; be it hiking in the mountains, going to the gym, swimming in the billions of pools in the valley, or just enjoying a good cup of coffee in the morning out on my deck.

I really enjoy traveling all around the country and soon the world. I travel a fair amount for work to the cities of San Francisco, San Diego, Colorado Springs, Minneapolis and other cities in the West. I try to get to my home town of Cleveland, Ohio (Northfield Center suburb) a couple times a year to visit with my family and friends. I just came back from a great trip to SF this past Memorial Day Weekend with my friend Travis and Mark and had a great time. I've posted some pics of the trip ...hope you enjoy.