Turning off the Cruise Control.

Tom Cruise, South Park style.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I have to admit, the creators of South Park are absolute geniuses. If you haven’t seen the episode “Trapped In the Closet”, then you are missing some of the best humor on TV. What strikes me the most is the fact that I cannot stand Tom Cruise. I could care less about the guy. Unfortunately, when ever I turn on the TV, glance over at the Tabloids in the checkout isle, or read the Life section of the newspaper, his name and face are all over the place. And that’s when I ask myself: “Who the hell cares?”

I think one of the reasons why I don’t like Tom Cruise is because he represents everything I hate about Hollywood and American entertainment culture. Why are people obsessed with this guy? I used to work in the entertainment industry in the mid 90s and we had a word for these groupies: Starfuckers. Augh, I just love that word. It so captures the nature of these people. So what’s the deal with Tom Cruise? Here’s a couple of my perceptions of why I believe he’s a total wacko.

Tom Cruise is gay. I mean, really, come on….think about it. If you do a google search on “Tom Cruse Gay” you get over 7,080,000 results. That’s a heck of a lot. It’s full of rumors, eye witness accounts and factual sightings of “less than hetero” activities. Although I, personally, cannot prove a thing, I believe this guy is one of the biggest closeted moes out there. And, if that’s true, he’s living one big lie. And THAT pisses me off. Of course, he’s “straight until proven gay”, but have you ever gotten in a conversation about how “straight” Tom Cruise is?

Tom Cruise is a wack job. Tom’s behavior publicly has not been what one would say is “normal”, even for Hollywood standards. Maybe it’s the Christian Scientology, maybe it’s the suppressed homosexual inside, maybe it’s all of the flash bulbs triggering a type of behavioral seizure; either case jumping on couches isn’t normal. (Yes, Tom, your overly excited about Katie…..stop trying to prove you are straight….it’s not working.)

Tom Cruise is a horrible actor. Let’s be honest…do you see Academy Award in is credentials? Not so much. He’s a typical type casted actor that has no real ability to act. He’s up there with Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwartzenagger. But, yet he’s still one of Hollywood highest paid stars, go figure.

Tom Cruise is hurting people. Proof in point is his outspoken words against aint-depressants. Again, call it the brainwashing of the Christian Scientology cult, but anyone who would tell people not to take prescribed medications without knowing background, or medical history of people taking them, is just out to get publicity. I know many people who are on anti-depressants whose life has changed for the better because of them. Tom doesn’t know them, thank god. Maybe if he took them he’d be in a better place too. Belief or not, he’s got a social responsibility with star power and he’s abusing it for his own personal gain.

Which brings me back to South Park. I have to give credit to South Park for calling the cards on Tom Cruise. Of course, everything is fictitious, a satire, even. But, the fact remains that Mr. Cruise is a total wack job. What amazes me, though, is that he still has legions of fans that would do anything, and I mean anything, to be near him, get his autograph, or shake his hand. Sorta reminds me of Michael Jackson. And THAT’s when it starts getting scary.