A 1st Class Delay

1st Class Ticket Home
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Where in the world is Ed? Wouldn’t you believe it, I am STILL in Cleveland, Ohio. God love the airlines. Leave it to them to overbook flights during the holiday season. Thankfully, though, Continental Airlines has a pretty good policy when it comes to bumping people off their airplanes. So here’s how the day went yesterday:

I wrapped up the day with seeing the family. I had the usual long Italian good-byes of hugs and kisses and “When will we see you again..” kinda stuff. Tim volunteered to take me to the airport, as it what I was hoping for, as I had even longer Italian good-byes with him. He’s such a hot guy. (long pause….mind wanders) Anyway, I said good-bye to Tim and started my adventure into Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. CLE (airport code for Cleveland) is actually a very busy airport. It’s not as busy as Phoenix Sky Harbor, but for being a Continental hub it’s pretty busy. As I walked in I could feel the travel tension seeping through the air. People running all over the place, men arguing at the ticket counters, travelers sleeping on the floor, bags of freshly opened holidays gifts (that are way too big to put in the overhead bins), and the “fingernails on chalkboard” sounds of babies crying. I think it should be law to sedate children under the age of five, and check them with your luggage. It would make life a lot easier on the flight. In fact they should come up with ADULTAIR, an airline without children under the age of 18 and younger than the age of 65.

I waited in the Security line for 30 minutes watching people take everything off except their underwear. The very attractive muscle-bound TSA guy was asking everyone to take their coats off and a couple of people took EVERYTHING off….it was funny. (God love those people from Poland.) I got to the gate, and they started making this wonderful announcement: “ Thank you for flying Continental airlines, at this time we have an oversold situation, we need up to 20 (yes…that’s TWENTY) volunteers to take the next available flight and receive a travel voucher for $250 good for your next flight on Continental or Northwest.” So I sat there, thinking I could use the voucher, but really needed to get back to Phoenix. Additionally, the next flight to Phoenix would be on Thursday morning, due to heavy holiday flight loads. Nah, I needed to get back to Phoenix.

So I got on the plane, which was insanely packed. I got to my seat 10F, which was a window seat. It’s important for me to have an isle or window seat as I am 6’3. Plus I like the window because it is easier to sleep up against a wall. As the plane loaded, the cabin got louder and louder with hard of hearing old people, loud people with major nasal accents, and the worst of the worst....crying babies. As my luck would have it, sitting in the middle seat was a 4 year old gem with the vocal cords of Mariah Carey on a bad day. I thought everything would be ok until the mother disciplined the little girl for playing with the tray table. Then it hit like a Christmas Tsunami. I could feel the blood starting to ooze out of my ears from the screechy scream from the depths of hell that came out of the brat’s mouth. Then like a sunbeam out of heaven, the flight attendant made this announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we still have a need for a couple more volunteers due to the oversold situation. At this time we are offering to book you FIRST CLASS through Houston on Thursday morning, also giving you a $500 travel voucher to anywhere Continental or Northwest flies.”

As I looked at the Devil Mom and her Seed of Satan next to me, I couldn’t reach the call bell fast enough. DING DING DING DING DING! I got my carry-ons and I was deplaned to take the flight two days later. There was only one hang-up. My luggage could not be taken off the plane due to time constraints. Yes, I had no clothes. I did, fortunately have all my toiletries. I got all the details wrapped up, got ticketed for my 1st class flight, got my $500 travel voucher and was on my way. I immediately called Tim to pick me up which he was more than happy to do.

As I waited outside, I couldn’t help but be excited to see Tim again. It was another opportunity to see a guy I really wanted to see again. It was as if I was given another belated Christmas gift. Tim pulled up to the curb I put my carry-ons into the back seat and he gave me one of those huge bear hugs that just go straight to your heart. We kissed and drove off to go back to his place for a couple hours. As we were going back, I couldn’t help but think about my luggage. Hopefully, they will lock my bag up in Phoenix when it get’s there like they said they would. Having no clothes for two days is going to be interesting. Eh, it’s not like I needed clothes last night anyway….