Why I can’t see Brokeback Mountain

One hot movie cast...
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God, I want to see this movie. Really bad. Why? Well, duh. Actually, after seeing the trailer, reading the bazillion reviews, and the beautifully done photographs (Not to mention hottie Heath Ledger…ok…Jake is cute too.) I can’t help but want to see this movie and the story that goes along with it. I just ordered “ Close Range: Wyoming Stories” by Annie Proulx to ready the original short story “Brokeback Mountain” to see if the adaptation to the film is as good as they say it is. I’m really, really excited to see this movie, as it’s a groundbreaking film.

But, unfortunately, there’s a big problem. It’s not showing here in Phoenix until December 16th. You figure with Phoenix being the 5th largest city in the country by population, they would release it here during the “premier” release weekend. New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco all got it for today…..but no Phoenix. My Luck. So, for the next week I’m sure I’ll be hearing how good the movie is from my friends in those “premier” cities. Yes, I’m jealous.

So I spend a good portion of the day trying to figure out where and when Brokeback Mountain will be playing in PHX. You figure this would be an easy google search, but unfortunately it’s not that easy. I’ve tried movie phone, harkinstheatres.com, and even Citysearch…..with no luck. I feel like “the man” is working against me on this one. (And all I want is to see a little man-on-man love story…what’s up with that? Man.) Oh yes, and god help you if you want to know what is playing a week ahead at the theatre. You can put in the date on most websites, but they are incomplete. Don’t these places know what they are playing next week? Augh…it’s frustrating.

So finally, I called the local AMC theatre by me to see if they had a clue on when they would be showing Brokeback Mountain. So I called the line and got the usual VRU (voice recognition unit) with menus and menus and menus. I tried my best at the button pushing and got nothing for Brokeback Mountain. So I did what any other normal intelligent person would do: Hit zero about 30 times until someone says “hello”. Here’s my conversation:

Me: (In a very masculine voice) “Ah yea, I was wondering when you’ll be showing Brokeback Mountain?”

AMC Employee: (Hick Texan accent) “Um…let me see…what’s it’s called? Boreback?”

Me: “No, BROKEback Mountain….it’s supposed to be released on the 16th”

AMC Employee: “Hmmm…never heard of it. (Shouts off the phone to another worker) Hey Sheila, you know when we getting Brokeback Mountain? Ever hear of it?”

Shelia: “Oh yea that GAY cowboy movie…we’re getting it I think next week!”

Long pause………………..

AMC Employee: “Um Sir, we should have that next week…check back later. Thank you for calling AMC theatres” (click)

Well……..guess that answers that. Either case, I have to wait until next week. I can just see Sheila from AMC making some “fairy reference” in the background. (Eh, not to worry, I fucked her boyfriend a couple nights ago…….….ah…I say that out of anger….or am I?) Anyway, so this is why I cannot see Brokeback Mountain. But in the meantime, my Amazon.com order should be coming next week with the book. So, I can read the story before I go see the movie. Books are usually better than the movie….but this movie has Heath Ledger in it…..I vote for the movie…and I haven’t even seen it yet.