The Best Dressed

Marge is sure to get laid in THIS outfit.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m in San Francisco this week for work. I really enjoy SF. One thing that always impresses me is the fact that people here are really well-dressed. All the men and all the women dress fashionably and impeccably. It doesn’t matter if they are going to work or the gym, people here really know how to dress and do it well. Another thing that amazes me is that they are always prepared when the weather changes. If the temperature drops by 2 degrees, “poof” they have a hooded pull-over or Prada windbreaker. If rain starts to fall, “poof” they have a Dior umbrella or a Columbia Rain Parka. It’s simply amazing. Be it a backpack, “manbag”, side saddle, or those adorable Kate Spade purses, people in SF seem to pull a plethora of couture fashion magically out of their bag. Only New York gives this city a run for the money when it comes to good looking, fit and well dressed people. It’s like walking in a Banana Republic or Nordstrom’s catalog. God, I love this city.

I’m also here in the Bay Area to interview for a potential promotion at work. I had a long discussion with the Boss from Hell and she finally came to the realization that I was the only one left standing after all of 8 resignations. (Yes, I used it to my advantage and now am interviewing for a promotion…hey, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. Okaaay?) Now, it’s just a “wait and see” situation here at work. The interviews went well, and I hope to find out soon.

This morning though I had an absolutely crazy experience getting my cup of Starbucks. As I was waiting in line for my Non-Fat latte I noticed behind me there was a really beautiful guy waiting for his morning cup of Joe. This guy was stunning. 6’2, brown hair, ice blue eyes, exceptionally muscular build, form fitting white polo top with khakis, chiseled features…the guy was straight off the cover of Men’s Fitness. He was getting looks from EVERYBODY: women, men, even the floral arrangements were tilting his way. I could sense all eyes on him.

As we were standing there, another equally hot guy was walking towards and entered the Starbucks to get his morning cup of ambition. He had to be 6 foot, brown hair, green eyes, perfect muscular build, dressed in a business suit (probably Hugo Boss), perfect smile, tan, and could be a runway model on his worst hair day. There was so much “good looking” in the room that people were getting nervous and fidgety…as if the caffeine from the coffee didn’t do that already. Then it hit: When I realized I was in SF and when my masculine fantasy ended. The two saw each other, and….

Guy One: (eyes wide and surprised with a high pitched gasp) “Guuurl..what are YOU doing here!”

Guy Two: “Oh hey princess! (exchange pecks on each cheek) Augh, it’s been a rough day…I broke up with Stephen and I need to find a job!”

Guy One: “You finally ditched your sugar daddy. No more Paris Hilton for you. Aww…come here peaches!” (hugs)
Guy Two: “I know…but I totally went on a shopping spree with his AmEx Platinum card and got me some fierce clothes and this fabulous suit….don’t I look fierce!??”

Guy One: “You look incredible. You GO GURL!”

I barely dodged the pearls, sparkles, and shimmers that were flying through the air. The people around me were just as amazed as well. The two Asian girls in front of me whispered into each other’s ears and giggled. The Starbuck barista rolled his eyes and the floral arrangements started to wilt. (As did many other things). Never fails, they always look hot until a purse falls out of their mouth. Sigh. (Thank God I have Tim.)

I fly back tonight, where I look forward to a quiet night at home with Tim. Who knows, maybe I’ll get upgraded to First Class. If not, I’ve always got next week. We’re both going to SF again for Memorial Day weekend. Tim is really looking forward to it. But I’ll have to remind him to pack accordingly. (Not that it will be difficult for Tim…he always looks good.)

Oh, The Places You’ll Go….

On the Edge
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

There’s nothing like a big hole in the middle of nowhere. Yep, that’s right a big ol’ hole in the middle of the barren desert. (Well, it’s actually cooler than it sounds) This past weekend Tim and I decided to tour some of the wonderful tourist sites here in the great state of Arizona. Believe it or not, there’s a heck of a lot to see out here in the desert Southwest. So here’s the four destinations we visited in 48 hours last weekend. (Yes, we hauled ass all over the state).

Meteor Crater, Arizona: Four score and 50 thousand years ago, a big ball of metal fell from the sky and slammed into the earth at roughly 40,000 miles per hour. What was left was a big meteor crater and a subway sandwich shop. (Well, ok….the Subway was added later down the road, but it’s quite amazing where you’ll find a Subway now-a-days, let alone a Starbucks.) After watching the Discovery Channel one day, I was immediately interested in going to visit this strange place. So, we ventured up to see the huge crater and were honestly quite impressed. In the photographs it looks big, but until you see it for yourself, it’s hard to imagine the sheer force of the meteorite slamming into the ground. You may remember seeing the Meteor Crater in the movie “Starman” with Jeff Bridges. Well, fortunately there were no alien ships descending down on us that day, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any odd people there. Including Jolene who worked at the Subway shop at the visitor center, shlopping 6” Meteorite Subs for $2.99. (Which actually were just the $2.99 6” meatball subs…..very clever.) Tim and I laughed on the way out imagining Jolene saying to her friends (in a hick Texan accent) “I wurk at the Subwaay, at dem there Meteor Crayter” The place is interesting to see, though. I would pass on the Meteorite Sub, and go for a cool postcard at the gift shop instead.

Petrified Forest National Park: OK, first thing’s first: There are NO trees in this forest. In fact, there’s barely any vegetation at all. But, there are plenty of petrified tree trucks strewn all over the place. The neat freak in me came out and made me think “Geez…someone really needs to pick up after themselves!” It’s another pretty barren place, but it did have some interesting things to see like the petrified tree trunks, prehistoric wall paintings, and the lunar-like mounds of dirt. It’s definitely a wild place. It was quite peaceful. That is, until a tour bus the size of a football field pulled up and dropped off 3,000 senior citizens all with cataracts and hearing aids with low batteries. “Wha? Huh? Harold! Can you see that! Wha? Huh? My walker won’t make it up there! Shirley did you take your pills? Ohh! What? Huh?!” This went on for a number of minutes before I looked at Tim and we headed back to the car and drove our way to Flagstaff. On the way there we stopped at the Painted Desert which was quite nice.

Flagstaff, Arizona: We spent the night in Flagstaff which is a really cool town. Being that the town itself is at an elevation over 7,000 feet, it was much colder than the surrounding desert. Flagstaff is place where you feel like you should be walking around in ski boots carrying a snowboard. It’s so radically different from the rest of Arizona. You feel like you are in Colorado or Idaho in the mountains. There was still snow on top of the San Francisco Peaks which made for a nice backdrop. We had the best dinner I had ALL DAY at the Olive Garden. (That was sarcastic) We were hungry….starving actually…and it was there. That’s why we ate at America’s most sub-standard Italian restaurant.

Grand Canyon, Arizona: If you never been to the Grand Canyon, you really need to go. It’s quite a sight to see. We got up early on Sunday and drove to the Grand Canyon from Flagstaff and made it record time (less than an hour) with absolutely no traffic. We literally pulled right up to the park entrance and paid the $20 entrance fee with no wait at all. We spent approximately 10 hours at the Canyon, hiking the trails, taking pictures, enjoying the views and trying to translate what people were saying. There was absolutely no one (except us) from the United States. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you’d be hard pressed to find someone who spoke English and was from the US. The Grand Canyon really is an amazing place. The pictures you can take there are simply amazing…that is, unless The Great Wall of China is blocking your view. (The Great Wall is not actually in Arizona, but a huge crowd of Asian tourists lining along the rim of the Grand Canyon blocking your view, is. Hence, what I like to call the “other” Great Wall of China.)

Overall, we had a great time and a lot of fun. It was a great stress reliever for me as I’m closing on the new house in a couple of weeks. By Memorial Day, I’ll be a proud homeowner….and all the fun (and stress) that goes along with it. Arizona is a beautiful state. I’m happy that I am finally getting to enjoy it.