All Points Bulletin

They want WHAT!!??
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

That’s right, I’m officially putting out an APB for single guys in their 30’s. I’m 32 years old and trying to find a single gay guy in his 30’s. You figure it wouldn’t be that hard, especially in the nation’s 5th largest city by population. But alas, there seems to be a huge shortage of guys in their 30’s. Browsing the classifieds, or even surfing the online world, still shows that the number of 30 something guys is proportionately low. There’s PLENTY of 20 somethings, and more than enough of 40 somethings….but gosh darn it…not enough guys age 30-39. It’s not that I have a problem with guys NOT in their 30’s, but I’d like to find a guy to date relatively around my age. 22 is just too young, 44 is just too far from my age to relate. God, I sound like Goldie Locks…..”this one is JUST RIGHT!” Well, until I find that “well fitting” guy, I’ll pursue those elusive 30 somethings where ever they may be hiding.

My experience in the dating world had definitely been an adventure. I’ve found 2 types of guys out there. First, you have your guys who are out JUST to get laid. I’ve come across plenty of those. The “Wham Bams”, as I like to call them. These are the guys you meet online, or in a bar, or at a party. They have one thing on their mind, and usually pursue you for one reason. Although I am happy to oblige some of the time, these guys just end up being a fun time and nothing more. Wham Bams aren’t looking for a relationship, and although some may have potential, they still have only one thing on the mind: getting laid. Nothing wrong with this, as we’ve all been in Wham Bam moods, and hell…we all need to get laid.

The other type of guy is the one who is DYING for a relationship. I like to call these guys the “Husband Hunters” or “HH”. HH guys are actually great guys, but unless you are also a HH, there’s no way this is going to work out. I’ve met a number of HHs in my single days so far. Some have all been hot guys with total potential, but not for me right now. They are ready and willing to pick out that China Pattern at Macys. I give these guys a lot of credit as they usually know what they want, and go for it at 120% and at WARP 6. Unfortunately, sometimes they can end up being stalkers as well. In this case a police restraining order comes in handy. Boiling rabbits on the stove top, is never a good sign.

I, on the other hand, am dead center of these two types of guys. Just playing the field and weighing out my options. Sorta take things slow and see where they end up. I’m totally open to dating guys, but just not ready to move in after two weeks of knowing someone. Sure a wham bam is nice once in awhile, but meeting a guy and actually going on a real date is nicer. Eh, hey… if the date has a wham bam too….ok…I can do that, but shouldn’t be expected. I met a guy recently who asked me what was my expectations before we went on a date….and I said “none”. I think that statement made the date go SO well. And, no, it didn’t end up being a wham bam. Although I would have been more than happy for it to be, I actually got to know the guy and well…..it was nice. Of course he lives 500 miles away…..which is a whole OTHER blog entry: “Why do all the good ones live far, far, far away?”

So, in closing I though I would leave you with an absolutely insane personal ad I came across, that show’s just how crazy the gay dating scene can be. If you can’t figure out what the letters mean, ask a friend. Enjoy, and happy dating!

AD from Craigslist: Desperate and eager for total submission and humiliation. Need a top who gives orders and takes complete control. Am prepared to do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE. Especially need public humiliation. Am ready for ws, cbt, bondage, forced nudity, forced workouts. Ready to be in public wearing whatever I am ordered. Am excellent cocksucker, but expect that will only be my reward for performing well. Need to be challenged and tested. 6'1", 185#,32w, 44c.

Can you say “issues”? Sounds like someone you’d bring home to mom, huh?