Powerballs & Porn Stars

The $3 Thrill.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the Powerball. Can you imagine? Wow….that’s a whole heck of a lot of money. $240 million, in fact. Of course after the government takes it share, it’s ONLY $112 million. Do you think you could request that the money you pay in taxes could NOT go to any Bush agenda items? Unfortunately, I haven’t won the Powerball, and don’t plan on it, but yet, I’ll still play…cause you JUST never know. Have you been Powerballed lately? Wait……don’t answer that. Today I was trying to think of creative slogans for Powerball and here’s what I came up with:

“Have you played with your favorite balls lately? Powerball”
“Get Powerballed!”
“Bigger Jackpots, Bigger Balls”
“You’ve got 2 we’ve got 6. Powerball”

Now think, if you actually DID win, what would you do? I know that I would definitely quit my job, and travel the world. I’d buy a couple houses and then just live off the interest and enjoy the finer things in life. Nothing too extravagant. My family would be taken care of, and a select group of friends. Definitely would change my phone number. Isn’t it amazing how we can just sit and imagine for hours on winning a large sum of money? Sigh. I’ll let you all know when I win on Wednesday. And if you win, I’ll forward clothing sizes and a wish list or two. (Hint: 3 letters: B. M. W.)

Last night I went out with my good friend Travis. The night seemed to have this “porn” theme to it. We started our night out by going to Castle Mega Store over on 44th street. For those not from PHX, Castle is a porn store. Yes, you know, the place you buy those naughty videos, condoms, lube and all the other fun stuff that makes you a total sinner in the eyes of every right winged Christian man, woman, and child. (You’re a sinner and you know it, gosh darnit!) Anyway, by request of myself, we stopped there so I could pick up some “items”. No, it wasn’t any toys, videos, or that leather harness thingy-ma-gig….that’s what the internet is for. ;) (Don’t worry, not a leather daddy here) While I was there I kept thinking that I would just LOVE to work at a porn store for about a week. The stuff people buy there would fascinate me. I would probably get fired from asking too many questions. “Sir, would you like any condoms to go with that 12” double dong?” “Miss, you are aware that you’ll have to buy D size batteries for that vibrator…oh wait!…I see it has a plug (raised eyebrow)…never mind….that will be $109.” “Your total is $69 dollars….no way!”

After our little jaunt to Sinner Mart, we went to this new bar called HOMME off Camelback. I love this new bar…it’s so cool. It’s a loungy, everyman’s bar. Something for everyone. Multilevel, and intimate. Unassuming and unpretentious. Plus it had a vibe all it’s own. I just hope that it doesn’t fill up with the drug/looser crowd. Definitely where I would like to hang out. Anyway, Matthew Rush was there with some other porn star. He’s in town working on a play called “Making Porn.” I’m sure it’s a Pulitzer-winning story line with riveting acting and a plot…..NOT. If you’ve ever scene a porn, you know why those people are in porn…and it ain’t because of their acting. He’s a lot shorter than one would think…still a big muscle guy, but shorter. Of course, everyone is short to me.

We ended the night at Roscoe’s, which was dead last night. It was wonderful…the smoke level was the lowest I have ever seen it! Travis and I played darts and he totally kicked my ass. Maybe it was the 5 Bacardi Limon and diets? Eh, who knows…we had a great time and got to catch up on some good stories. We were also graced with the presence of Jeff and Rick, and Mark the Rocket Scientist. Always fun to see and been seen with those guys.

The night ended with the ceremonial trip to Denny’s. It’s amazing what one will eat at 3am. AUGH.

www.powerball.com
www.phoenixhomme.com
www.roscoeson7.com
www.castlemegastore.com