My Biggest Stalker Fan

Mary Tyler Moore Statue in MSP
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

The Twin Cities, yes, Minneapolis/St. Paul. “Your gonna make it after all…” That’s right Mary, it’s freaking cold. The high today here was a balmy 44 degrees and as I write, I’m sure there’s snow blowing in this evening. If not, it should. Cause’ it’s damn cold. Although I do love trips to the northern cities. It reminds me of why I moved away to sunny PHX. I'm here for work. I have a huge project I am working on and I am the only representative from my division of the company. Should be productive. Although there are an insane amount of hot guys here….must be something in the water.

Yesterday I had the CRAZIEST experience. About 9pm last night I went to take out the trash (literally), and as I opened my door, there was a note stuck in between the crack of the door. So, as I opened my front door, this note fell out of the crack and onto the ground. At first, I thought it was a menu from Janky Changs or Guido’s Pizza, but it wasn’t. It was a bone fide note. A hand written pen and paper note. And here’s what it said:

“Are you interested in guys?”

I was sorta taken back by this. Was this God, asking me some divine question? Wouldn’t he rather of used his booming voice, or sent Mary in some glorified vision? So I stood there…trash in hand, the note in the other and just dumbfounded. Do I like guys? OF COURSE I LIKE GUYS…well, duh. In fact I love em’. Dammit. So then I thought, who the HELL would leave this kinda note, and not even leave a number or email or even a popcorn trail leading to his (or her) house? Now think about this, did this person expect me to raise my hands to the sky and scream “GOD, YES…yes!!! I am interested in guys, dammit Yes!!!!!” I mean, come on.

So now, I am dying with curiosity on who this mystery writer is. I think it could be my new neighbor across the way that leaves his windows open. I catch him looking into my place every so often. In fact, walking around nude in my place doesn’t happen much anymore, cause it’s sorta freaky. Well, if he was hot, that would be another story.....but we won’t go there. Also, I think it’s rather bold (albeit very HIGH SCHOOL) to sneak up to my door and leave a little note. I know some of you might find it romantic and all...but I find it just weird. It definitely looks like a guy’s handwriting. I’m just glad it wasn’t a note made out of cut out news paper letters….you know like a stalker/killer.

So to you, the incognito writer, here’s your answer “Yes, I dig dudes, dude.” And for your information, please leave some means of getting a hold of you…cause I’d like to teach ya thing or two about proper note etiquette. And if your stalking me, well, you better be damn cute.