Conservatives vs. Colorado Lesbians

Pikes Peak
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Greetings from Colorado Springs, Colorado! The place that I like to call “The Most Conservative City in the West”. Actually, COS (that’s the airport code) is an absolutely beautiful place with some of the most scenic views of the Colorado Rockies and Pikes Peak. Unfortunately, my efforts to take some pictures of the place were post phoned by a cold front that passed through the minute I got here. Low clouds and fog have hampered any efforts for a photo opportunity. Additionally, my Sony Cybershot is on it’s last leg. Thank god for Google Image Search. This pic seems to capture what I would have otherwise taken with my camera. The trip has been pretty good so far. I met a great guy up here who I had so much in common with. Anyone that has Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion on DVD is and instant hit with me. We ended up having dinner both nights and had some great conversation on everything from politics, to travel, to funny stories of crazy situations. Did I mention he’s a hot guy too? Makes me look forward to my next trip to scenic, beautiful “Jesusville in the Mountains”.

Speaking of the “Lord”, I passed the headquarters of Focus on The Family on my way to the office here in COS. Can you believe that they actually have signs on the I-25 highway letting people know to exit? Are there that many people going to FOTF? The parking lot is always empty except for maybe a “pope mobile” or two. I cringe every time I pass that place going into the office here. I wish they would focus on their family, and not mine. I was actually planning to “egg” the place in protest, but noticed that they had security cameras all over the place. Hmmm..something tells me that those people have thought of that before, hence the “high security”. You’d figure that would be a big clue to them. Eh, like they care, they got Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Bob Jones. Sometimes I just wish these people would just get a clue, or be struck by lightning, or catch fire by a burning bush or something.

Speaking of burning “bush”, there sure are a lot of Subarus out here! Those Colorado lesbians sure do hold court in Colorado. I noticed a ton of very butch “ladies” in the office, and yes, I saw some of them getting out of Subarus. What a stereotype. Sorta like gay guys driving Volkswagens. (I owned 2 in my time). They travel in packs around here too…..was driving in this morning and there was a group of Lesbianese walking a couple dogs by my hotel,…… yes, they were your friendly neighborhood Power Walking Lesbians. It was really foggy though, so I could only make out the short hair, baggy pants and the jingle of many keys on key rings. “Lesbians in The Mist”. At least they were happy and focusing on their “Family”…..as I’m sure FOTF was as well. Well, it’s off to Denver to catch my flight back to PHX. No upgrade to first class….bummer, I sure could use a drink.

The Push, The Gym, a Bad Bottle of Wine, and a Webcam

Drink at your own RISK!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

By reading that title you’re probably thinking that this post will be some hell-bent torrid sex story with an Internet audience…..well, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not. But, what I can tell you is that it was a weekend of highs and lows. The weekend started with dinner at Delux, another PHX “secret gay” place, with my friend Tim. Had a great time and made an obligatory appearance at Amsterdam for a couple of drinks. It was a pretty slow night there, so only stayed for a couple of drinks and left within an hour of being there. What never ceases to amaze me though, is the arrogance of some guys. As we were leaving we were making our way to the door, and some idiot just stood there and would not move out of the way. I was sorta taken back because well, I’m 6’3, and people, by nature, usually move out of my way. Sorta makes me the “tour guide” in crowded places…you know like those tours at museums where the guy holds up the flag and the crowd follows through? Anyway, the dude would just not move, and he had a football field of space. I really couldn’t figure it out…did he want me to trample all over him? (You know some guys are into that stuff). Anyway…I finally essentially pushed the guy out of the way, and probably knocked his tiara off in the process. So what’s the lesson here? Push idiots out of the way and well…you’ll get out of the bar. Maybe it’s my Midwest upbringing, or maybe it’s just common courtesy…who knows….but definitely arrogance, and he had NOTHING to be arrogant about. Ask my friend Tim.

My Saturday was pretty boring. Went to the gym, did a back workout and worked on the arms. I’m obsessed with my arms as it’s the one thing I want. BIG arms. In fact that’s the top of my Christmas list this year, “big god damn arms”. Nothing is sexier to me than hot arms…and well….a hot….everything else. Hey why not go for gusto? As for Saturday night, I made myself some chow and opened a bottle of Beringer Chardonnay and decided to empty out my Tivo machine. Unfortunately, either the wine was bad, or I had a migraine coming. Yup, a migraine. Haven’t had one of those in about a year, but it hit…like a Mack Truck. So, I crawled up my stairs, took 4 Advil a Xanax, hopped into bed and curled up into a ball and passed out. Ah, life was good about 20 minutes later.

As for Sunday….it was pool day. My complex has a great pool. Travis usually comes over and we lay out….and every so often there’s a hot guy or two. As it turns out, the pool was filled with all these girls from the complex. But what was funny was the 2 lesbians in the pool frolicking (and fondling) with each other. One of the “gals” was HUGE, in a muscular kinda way. The straight girls were a little quiet, and kept staring at the lesbians. It was a little strange…kinda like watching an episode of Zena, but with bikinis and a pool. After a “dip with the dykes”, Travis and I went shopping at Chandler Mall, where I broke down to the marketing genius of Steve Jobs and bought an apple iSight for my Powerbook. Yes, I have a webcam. Well….not a “webcam”….just the hardware….ah….never mind…I see puns flying all around the room. Anyway, if you have AIM or iChat, I should be able to do video web conferencing. Hopefully I will use it…..for legitimate reasons….of course.

Well, this week should be fun…flying to Colorado Springs, which I like to call “The most conservative city in the West”. I’ll try to take some pictures, as the landscape there is quite beautiful. Maybe I’ll even have a story to tell. There is an Air Force Academy there………..

Hello FEMA? Are you there FEMA? Hello?

Yes, I'd like a large pepperoni, with extra cheese....
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Happy Hurricane Month! Well, here we go again, another hurricane, another gallon of gas at an impossible price. There’s been so many blogs, news stories, and personal stories on this hurricane situation(s). Stories of tragedy, loss, reunions, anger, and despair. Makes you wonder how stuff like this can happen to a “civilized” country like the US. Just another failure by the Bush administration. The failures just keep coming. FEMA failures, Economy woes, a shattered and overextended military, Church intermingling with State, a destroyed middle class, and a greatly divided country that reaches to the core of everyone of us. I mean come on, the guy won’t even meet with Cindy Sheehan as a symbolic gesture. Every time I drive on the freeway and see a “Bush/Cheney 04” sticker on a car, I purposely cut them off….or at least I wish I would. Does anyone see this? (that was a rhetorical question….cause I know you all do.) And now, with a $200 Billion dollar price tag on Katrina (god, only knows how much for Rita), our children will be paying for these disasters. Even though we HAD a surplus of billions and billions (if not trillions) of dollars when Clinton left office. Sigh…sad isn’t it? God help those who need help, cause getting help is going to be the hardest part of the journey. www.redcross.org

Today was pretty status quo. Although I am totally noticing a difference with my workouts and gains on the NO2. I’ve seen some major results in only 4 days. My friend Paul in SF started on the same supplements today as well…he’s says he’s seen some immediate effects…like more energy and a better workout. Had dinner at La Grande Orange, with a friend of mine tonight. That place is really quite swank. The pizza was awesome, and the conversation was great. It’s always great to discuss my hometown with someone who knows Cleveland/Akron. I highly suggest the place. Reminds me of Delux on Camelback…but Pizza. Yet another one of those “secret gay” places in PHX. You know, one of those places that are filled with fellow homos, but you’d never guess it cause they act all butch and are surrounded by hot women who love hanging with their “main stay gay”. Parking was a major bitch though. Check it out!

Would You Buy Cookies From This Man?

Hey der Cookie Man!
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

If your answer is no, then your blind AND stupid. Of course you would. Any guy that is that good looking and offers you angelic food with a devilish smile, well….dammit I’m sold! Why can’t girl scouts look that good? Actually, Stephen Charles Lincoln, that’s his name by the way, started The Protein Bakery in response to a more healthy choice in bakery. I’ve personally tried the treats, and well…they are just damn good. My first exposure was to his brownies in a Chelsea café in NYC. The whole gimmick is that the bakery is VERY high in protein and balanced nutrition. Those gym bunnies love this stuff. I’ve also ordered a number of brownies online. One word: AWESOME. He’s gotten some great press on his company, and his baked goods were even found in the Emmy & Tony Awards Gift Basket! And well, if by eating them you can look good as him, well…..COUNT ME IN. www.proteinbakery.com

Went to LA Fitness today, and started my new supplement regimen. Trying this new form of NO2, that’s supposed to be twice as effective as regular NO2. Doing some heavy Creatine as well. We’ll see if it works. “La” Fitness is STILL crowded any night you go. I still to this day cannot understand why they feel a need to continually over-sell that place. It makes for a very annoying workout. But I think my biggest bitch about that gym is the music they play. You’ll go from Snoop Dog to Celine Dion’s whinny “All By Myself”. Now, who the hell works out to that? I was waiting for someone to slit his or her wrists on the elliptical machine! Thank God for my Ipod. I wish LA Fitness was a little more like Crunch Gym….where they have a DJ on certain nights. (Now, HOW gay is that?) Just serve liquor, put up a disco ball and you got a gay bar. But seriously, they do have cool DJ’s at the one in SF, NYC, and I think ATL (My friend Bill could vouch for that!) Be much more motivating….like my new favorite song to jam in the car: Faith Evan’s Mesmerized (Freemason’s Radio Mix). On iTunes, of course. Dat’s right cookie man, yo cookies, got me mesmerized!

My Life on the "E" List

Kathy Griffin: My Life on The D List
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

My Tivo (aka DVR) is full. I’ve been so busy traveling, work, and just doing stuff around town that I have not had a chance to clean out the god-forsaken Tivo machine. I guess that is a good thing, considering that if I watched THAT much TV, I’d be a blimp with a can of Pringles in one hand and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in the other…(I do love that Chunky Monkey). BUT, my favorite time to catch up on television are those lazy Sundays or rainy days (which rarely happen in PHX). One of the shows I Tivo”ed” was Kathy Griffin: My Life on The D List. Every so often television produces a gem of a show that gets little or no exposure. As reality shows go, this one was actually entertaining to watch. I laughed my butt off at the witty humor and impromptu situations that Kathy and friends find themselves in. Yes, it’s heavy on the “gay” thing (it’s on Bravo for god sakes!) but it does it in a way that is both tasteful and funny. I just crack up when you see Kathy’s super-fans….usually some wacko gay guy who brings her gifts of scented candles and spa products. Quite weird if you ask me. Anyway, I was totally hooked on the show only to find out it was only a 6 episode installment. My Luck.

Ever wonder what list your on? A,B,C, Double Z, it’s amazing how we classify ourselves on lists. From high school, college, at work, and in social circles we always classify people in groups or cliques or even “lists”. “Oh that’s a “A-List” party….did you get invited?” Amazing isn’t it? So I pose the question: “What list are you on?” Now, think about this…..one person’s A could be another person’s D.

Today at work, I had a manager accept a resignation from an employee….only to have the employee rescind the resignation 4 hours later. What would you do? Well, if the employee was that stupid to resign without thinking it through….then my advice was to not hire her back. And let me tell you, she was stupid….not to mention bitchy. Never bite the hand that feeds you. Ah, the joys of working in Human Resources. I do love my job…it’s never boring, and could give me a ton of material if I ever wanted to be a stand-up comic.

More Ho's For the Valley

Valley Ho
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Today was yet another beautiful day in sunny PHX. And I was driving through Scottsdale today and came across the construction, or should I say "re-construction", the the Hotel Valley Ho. Ever since I moved to PHX this has been "under construction", surely delayed by some finance snafus or conservative republican politics. But it looks like NOW it's finally getting built and looks like it's coming along nicely. It's a boutique ho-tel, that take's it's gimmicks from the fabulous 50s-60s. And if they pull it off, its surely to be where the seen are to be seen, you know, the Paris Hilton types (no dogs please). Check out the website: www.hotelvalleyho.com

Will it work in PHX? You better believe it, we have enough ho's in this Valley to fill that place up lickity split. The boutique hotel war is heating up here in PHX. With the mildly successful James Hotel, the swanky downtown Clarendon Hotel, and the soon to be built uber-she she W Hotel, there will FINALLY be more choices that your run of the mill Sheraton, Hilton or overly done resort like the Phoenician (aka. Joan Collins from Dynasty threw up 80's all over the place kinda look).

Speaking of the Valley, and the hoes that roam free.... Went out last night with Travis to take a whirlwind tour of the bar scene. Amsterdam was doing very well with the addition of the new coat room....oops I mean Club Miami. I have to say for all the hype they put into that place....it's TINY. Also, it didn't seem really "done" either...amazing what some white paint and blue indirect lighing can do. Needless to say I hung out on the Amsterdam side. The night ended up at Charlies....aka "Last Chance Charlies". Charlies is Charlies is Charlies in any city that it is in. Although Charlies in Chicago is the most fun, as my friend James would attest to that. Not much going on there...same people....although a couple guys caught my eye...emphasis on "a couple"...not "a lot". An uneventful night, but yet always good to see "my peoples" and the drama that comes along.

The Ipod Nano & Me.

Nano Nano
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

My latest purchase from Steve Jobs. Hey, yea I'm a sucker for cool design, and quite frankly....I actually enjoy it. Especially on long walks in a downtown, on a plane looking out the window, or on the eliptical machine at the gym. There's something religious about buying an Ipod at the SF store....or maybe that's Madison Avenue telling me that. Ah heck...it's cool....and you know it. ;) Got the White one 4gig.

Blah, Blah, Blah....Blog, Blog, Blog......

OK...so I was thinking.....as private as we wish out lives are, we have these things called blogs. So many of my friends have blogs, I decided to be one of the sheep in the super information highway....and continue on with my own. Crazy, Huh? Well, I guess I'll start this wonderful little tidbit of my life with my last work trip to San Francisco. Had a great time hanging with my friend Paul and did many wonderful things, did the Castro, which wasn't the Highlight of my trip. Yea, Castro is cool and all, but my god, there are so many more things in that city than Castro. Yes, a trip to the motherland is quite fun, but not San Francisco.
Sunday we went to the annual Opera In the Park, put on by the SF Opera. It was in Golden Gate Park, with about 10,000 of my best friends...all on blankets, drinking wine, eating cheese, and I saw more sterling silver serving sets that I care to wish to acknowledge. Some people brought these nifty coffee tables that looked like they were right out of a Pottery Barn catalog...a little excessive if you ask me. But, yet it was an amazing concert...and truly what SF is all about. Art, Music, Diversity all wrapped up in a wonderful urban package.
The rest of my trip was filled with work...but something quite crazy happened on Monday night......say around 10:30pm "ish". A my path crossed with someone that just threw me for a loop. I'm not ready to go into the story on this blog, but when the time is right I'll explain. It's one of those experiences that make you realize a lot about yourself, others, and life in general. For the first time in a long time, I've really looked at many aspects of my life and realized that life is more than just what you see.....it's about perspective, and what you make it. I've always said that, but now I'm realizing it. Sometimes it takes just one person to make you realize this. And that person has gotten me thinking.....a lot.

More to come.