Choice Stops on The Information Superhighway.

Oh, the things you'll find on the web...
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

God love days off. Sometimes, you just got to take a day off from work. Call it vacation, PTO, personal day, or even a “mental day”…sometimes you just got to let go and let the monkeys fend for themselves. Plus with all of the drama going on at work it felt good to just sleep in and let the place burn down in a fiery inferno.

So, aside from running all of the errands today, which included cleaning, tanning, haircut, dry cleaning, grocery shopping, car wash and the gym, I surfed the net and came across some absolutely interesting websites along with some newly downloaded music. But this post I’ll discuss some of the finer “pull-offs” of the world wide web.

Our first stop is at a wonderful website called FUH2.COM. I absolutely hate and despise Hummers. They are nothing more than supporting the nation’s addiction to oil. Who, honestly, needs a big hulking tank of a car? Here in Phoenix, they are synonymous with little blonde rich Scottsdale 34DD plastic surgery soccer moms that have nothing better to do that shop. Augh. What a waste. But I did find this site humorous as it’s very fun to read, and brings one to “awe” with America’s obsession with excessive SUV’s. I’m mean, really, Hummer’s are so freakin’ stupid.

Next stop on the wonderful web is t-shirtsthatsuck.com. Now, I am not into those cutsie t-shirts that everyone buys at Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister. In fact the guys that wear those t-shirts usually fit that certain stereotype of “got to be seen”….you know, the way too tight, disco ball, tweaker type. But, I have to admit these t-shirts are just down right hysterical. My favorites are “Sup-Fool”, “Fat kids are harder to kidnap.”, and “Where my Bitches At?”. Now you all know where to get my birthday gifts. (July 5th).

No gay web site browsing experience is complete without visiting danoramaproductions.com. Quite simply, the gayest place on the web. And you ALL know it’s fab. Ok, ok….it’s WAY gay, but way fun to click through. Check out all the Cher stuff. By the time your done…you’ll be using all those “ous” adjectives. Such as: illustrious, glamorous, fabulous, and sparkle double Dutch delicious. Yea, it’s that gay.

Finally, speaking of birthday gift ideas, why not give the gift that keeps on giving? Yes, I’m talking about a kitschy bookends, candy dish or candleholder. If these are things that you just can’t live with out, then go to this gem of a website and order a Diva Dahlin. No home décor is complete without one. Fo’real!

It’s quite amazing how google can change your browsing experience. I actually found a website on how to turn your laptop into a weight scale. Scary but true…people actually believe this shit. I thought the picture was quite humorous. I could see my great aunt actually doing this. Tell her it’s a scale, and she’d stand on it. Ouch.

Love & Closure

Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I had to say goodbye today. It was the hardest goodbye I have ever had to do, but it was necessary. Necessary for me and necessary for him. It was of those moments in your life were time stands still, moves in slow motion, and moves too quickly all in the same experience. I had to say goodbye to move on, to move forward, to complete the healing process. With a hug and a smile, I said goodbye. As emotionally painful as it was, it felt right. This song sums it all up:

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Now, it’s time to explore the new love in front of me and learn to love again. Sometimes with pain comes progress. And sometimes it takes love to find love. Now the anticipation of a new “great love” is happening. As this goodbye, as painful as it may be, will let both of us move forward.

My New Boss is EVIL.

My new boss absolutely sucks.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

It’s often said that people leave jobs not because of money, but rather because their boss is a total jerk. Well, I’m finding that out right now. You see, while I was in San Francisco last week, my boss resigned. I was devastated because, actually, I love my boss; she is supportive, dedicated to my development, and just an all around cool lady to work for. She always said “thank you” for doing a great job and made me feel totally valued. For Christmas, she even sent me a huge Napa Valley gift basket filled with totally cool stuff. I enjoyed my boss. She was awesome. So much in fact, that I would work at 110% my capacity level, because she motivated me to do even better than I already was doing.

But, now she’s gone. And, she confided in me that the reason for her leaving was because her boss was a total evil bitch. And I now have to report to this evil bitch. I knew my boss was having trouble with her boss, who just started with the company not even a year ago. The rumor on the street was that her boss, who we will call “Angry Black Woman”, came to the company after leaving her previous company after a huge management shakeup/downsizing. We now know that she is now suing her previous company for racial discrimination for a very large sum of money. Yes, that’s right, she plays the race card. Now, if it’s legit, I’m in total support of it. But if you met this lady, you’d know she’s up to no good. To give you an idea of how evil this lady is here’s a couple observations:

• Her door is always closed. (Not very Human Resources of her, is it?)
• You are NOT to talk with her unless it is important. (Important on HER standards)
• If you do not report to her directly, there is no need for her to know you. In other words, if she doesn’t HAVE to deal with you, she won’t.
• It’s her way or the highway. No input from you is needed.
• A one-on-one development session should not be longer than 3 minutes. (NOT and exaggeration)
• You are to complete a “status report” to let her know what is going on. DO NOT call her. SHE WILL CALL YOU if she needs you. This needs to be completed on a weekly basis, and is to cover everything you do and how this affects her.
• You will be immediately fired if you comment that she looks like an angry black drag queen.
• If you send her an email, you will not get a response in a reasonable time frame. Unless, you beg for an answer, at which could potentially get you fired for BUGGING her.
• She has a perception by the HR community at the company that she cannot be fired because she is a minority, and she’ll sue your ass if you should do such a thing, even with cause.

Sigh. And to make things worse, all, and I mean ALL, of my co-workers in my group resigned in fear that they would have to work for the Angry Black Woman. I stand alone. Yes, I’m absolutely and totally screwed. 6 resignations in 2 weeks. So, now I am loaded down and stressed beyond belief. (FYI, for those of you that may, by chance, think I have a problem with black women, it’s in your best interest to know that all of the resignations were minorities. Yes, she is THAT evil.) What to do?

Well, being a person who believes “The only way to escape a problem is to solve it.”, I have applied for 2 internal positions which I have 3 interviews set up this week. I also have an interview with an external company tomorrow night. So I got some things in the hopper, it’s just a matter of time before it happens. I even had some people I work with here offer to help me get out any way they could assist me. Made me feel really good. The one thing to remember though, is that I hold one hell of a big chip in my hand. If I leave, the Angry Black Woman is totally fucked. She doesn’t have clue about what I do, and she would be up shit creek if I leave. I could work this to my advantage, (i.e. a huge retention bonus), but in the end my life would still be miserable working for her. So now, it’s up to me to make things happen.

It would be a great feeling to just get up and leave and get an even better job than I have now. I can sit here for the time being, but I know eventually I am going to have to move into a different position or company altogether. Crazy huh? Well, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but I have a feeling things will turn out fine. Maybe if I am lucky she’ll get hit by a bus. (Just kidding………….or am I?)

Lost Signs

Broasted Chicken....and BEER.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Mmmm…. Broasted chicken. Actually, I don’t think I’ve had broasted chicken. I assume it’s between broiled and roasted. Either case, this sign caught my eye on a trip that Tim and I took today. We explored the Superstition Mountains, Canyon Lake, and the hokey little Goldmine (tourist trap) Town on the way. There were beautiful views of the mountains on our trip, as well as the plethora of tourists at Tortilla Flat and that hokey tourist trap town.

Tim likes to take pictures…lots of pictures. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I would guess his mother’s maiden name is Kodak, Canon, or even Fuji. The guy LOVES to take pictures. We’ll be driving along and he’ll be snapping away pictures at 75mph through the tinted windows of my TL. I’m always amazed at the fact that the pictures do actually come out. Finally I told Tim that “Maybe the pictures would come out better if you took them not through the window and with the car going near 80mph.” Tim looked at me and agreed. So now the window is rolled down and I’m asked to stop when ever there’s something worth taking pictures of. Needless to say my brakes are getting a workout. I don’t mind though. He’s totally enjoying it and he’s pointing out things that I never even noticed here in Arizona. The only problem is my camera is a total piece of shit.

My camera, a Sony Cybershot, is a good camera, actually. It’s taken some very good pictures in it’s time (And I mean VERY good pictures…wink wink). Unfortunately, it likes to eat batteries like an alcoholic drinks liquor. I could of bought a new camera with all the money I spent buying it batteries. I think it’s got to do something with when I dropped the darn thing. Now it’s pissed off at me and does nothing but eat batteries. Needless to say, a new digital camera is on the list of things to buy….in the near future.

The only thing that I absolutely HAD to take a picture of was this sign. I have this thing for old signage. There’s nothing like an authentic sign to remind us of yesteryear. And the fact that I never saw the word “Broasted”. Maybe it’s the Midwest in me, but chicken was never broasted. I though to myself, this HAS to be a made up word. But to my surprise it IS actually a word…and in the dictionary, even.

Unfortunately, the place was shut down….and for a number of years it looked like. So, I was not able to try their infamous Broasted Chicken. Damn. Maybe it was lack of business, the bird flu, or even, the elusive Lost Dutchman. Who knows. But, you have to admit…they had an awesome sign.

This ad is HOT, and well..very GAY.

This happens to me ALL the time.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

While in San Francisco, my friend Paul (the Ambassador of San Francisco) and I ran downstairs from our office and grabbed a Starbucks to shake off the morning blahs. As many of you know, I travel to SF a lot for work. After we grabbed our morning cup of ambition, we stopped by a newsstand where Paul said “You’ve got to see this new D&G ad in the current issue of GQ.” I was sort of confused as to what he said, probably because I didn’t have the caffeine pumping through my veins from the cup of joe I had in my hands. Paul discreetly pulled out a copy of GQ from the row of magazines and quickly turned to the 5-page D&G ad. My mouth just about dropped to the floor. Was I looking at the newest issue of Playgirl or XY? As we paged through the ad, I couldn’t believe this was in GQ. (You know, because GQ is a “straight” magazine and all. No one would EVER guess that there are ANY homoerotic undertones to that magazine, ESPECIALLY since only total STRAIGHT guys read GQ and they do NOT cater to ANY gay clientele AT ALL. Yea, whatever.) Anyway, the Ambassador pulled out the $5.99 and bought the magazine, where I instead opted for the current issue of Vanity Fair, as it had my “Number 2” (out of the top 10 guys I’d sleep with in the world…a fantasy, of course) guy Tom Ford on the cover. You got to love Tom Ford…they guy is sexy beyond belief. (But, I digress….)

So today I was bored surfing the net this morning and decided to see if I could pull up pics of those ads. I came across the D&G website and found that they had an actual screensaver with all of the ads. (For those of you who’d like to see, just click here and search for it on the site.) Again, I was quite amazed at the boldness of the ad campaign. I think they took the idea from Abercrombie and Fitch, but made it a little more mature (they boys have grown up a bit….post college maybe late 20’s 30’s kinda thing) and a little more direct. Now honestly, when was the last time you stood there with a “friend” over a naked guy looking down at him in a room full of other hot guys? (Don’t answer that question some of you…) Not very realistic. But definitely a fantasy. (Those men are going to tear that guy into two…..or at least that’s what the pic says.) A picture IS worth a thousand words, you know.

Anyway, I started to laugh after looking more in depth at the pictures. I thought to myself, “Gee…these pics are SO unrealistic….there are like NO Asian guys in these pics!” I have this blatant stereotype burned in my head of slightly overweight Asian “bois” wearing overly tight “extra small” black D&G wear frolicking around a crowded bar with a cranberry vodka in hand. Honestly, when was the last time you saw a hot Italian guy wearing D&G? Maybe in Italy, but not in the US (Aside from the occasional sighting in NYC.)

But, at the end of the day, these ads are quite good. They definitely provoke emotion and stare (whether good or bad). And, the ads definitely have gotten some press. Would it make me buy D&G? Not really. (Do I look Asian to you?) Now, if we were talking Armani, well, that’s another blog entry.

Seminars and Spas

Lowes Santa Monica Beach Hotel
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’m currently in Los Angeles, Santa Monica specifically, for a professional development seminar. I was really excited to go, as I haven’t actually been to a “training” seminar for myself in a long time. I seem to be always teaching the seminars as opposed to actually going to them. The premise of the seminar was to develop my “Influencing and Leadership” skills professionally and personally. It looked like a really fun and interesting seminar. Additionally, it was a “privilege” to take as you had to be nominated by your manager and have thirteen thousand levels of approvals to go. I was, of course, one of the lucky ones to be nominated and got all the necessary nods from the powers that be. The course was to be held at the fabulous Lowes Santa Monica Beach Hotel right on the ocean next to the Santa Monica Pier. (An exceptionally wonderful location). I think I was more excited at the location of the seminar than the actual seminar itself. I should have listened to my gut, as that’s exactly how it turned out.

You see, the bad part about working in Human Resources is the fact that you have exposure to almost all of the training that an organization has. And although that may sound great and all, it really can work against you when you need to sharpen your own skills. To this point, this seminar is nothing but rehash of stuff I currently teach. Yes, I was being taught stuff that I already knew and nothing was enlightening or “new” for me. In fact, I caught myself lip synching with the instructor a couple of times. (I’m sure she thought I was mocking her or playing some silly game with her. Not to mention she improperly went out of order teaching the training sequence…but who am I to judge?) So, as you can guess I am pretty disappointed in the overall course as it was nothing I did not already know. My skills in “Influencing and Leadership” were not sharpened. But, what I did enjoy was this fabulous hotel.

Yes, the hotel. I have to admit, this hotel is almost on par with the W Hotel. When I arrived I decided to take full advantage of the Spa. They have a great spa here called the Ocean Spa & Fitness Center. Very nice facility. I immediately booked myself a 50 minute deep tissue massage and a 50 minute men’s facial. As I booked I did my normal request of “Can I have a male massotherapist?” Now, normally, this request can be met very easily, but when you book literally 10 minutes before the service, it’s not always going to happen. Unfortunately, they did not have a male working at the moment. (A huge difference between this hotel and the W Hotel…as the W Hotel KNOWS their client base…wink wink.). So I had a wonderful massage with a small Mexican lady with the massage force of a steam roller. I had no idea a little woman could have so much force. She worked me over like a big piece of meat….and it felt pretty good. Especially when she hit the glutes.

Now, when you get a massage, one never knows if the massage guy (or girl) will hit the big old butt with a good deep tissue massage. If you haven’t had it done before, I highly suggest it. Now, it’s not sexual or anything, but it honestly makes for a really relaxing massage. This Mexican lady shoved her elbow on my butt (as opposed to “in”, you perverts) like nobody’s business. I never knew I had that many knots in my glutes. YIKES! Needless to say my ass felt awesome. (Insert witty pun here.)

As for my facial, who knew one could devote 50 minutes worth of time steaming, buffing, massaging, scrubbing, extracting (ouch), mudding, buffing, rubbing, applying, mudding and steaming again your face? I’m usually used to the wash and apply SPF 15 kinda thing. I have to admit though it was a great facial. I felt so LA. All I needed was a pair of J Lo sunglasses, frosted hair and a polo shirt with the collar turned “up” driving away from the spa in my convertible Chrysler Sebring, blaring a Cher or Madonna song. You can’t get more “gay LA” than that. I’ll settle for just the facial, thank you very much.

When I was done I went to the men’s spa locker room to take a shower and head back to my room. It’s always interesting in a spa locker room. It’s quite different from a gym locker room. In a gym locker room, you get the usual crowd of gay and straight kinda guys. Usually, you can tell if someone is gay (by the long stares, heavy lisps, or rainbow flag towel as they frolic to the shower….or combination of all three) or straight (b line to the locker , b line to the door…maybe a shower if they HAVE to). Well a spa locker room is quite different. EVERYONE stares and your chances of bumping into a gay or at least “bi” guy are 1000000 times better than at a gym. There must be something about getting your body rubbed up and down that makes men’s inhibitions drop to the floor like their towel in a the steam room. (Which is always an experience.) This spa was no exception. Lots of men with wandering eyes and “up to no good” smirks. Also, it’s the only place (spa locker rooms) where the steam room is packed beyond belief. Of course, I could be totally wrong and the spa could be crowded with men in touch with their feminine sides. (Long pause) Metrosexual my ass!

I head back to PHX tomorrow. I’m looking forward to getting back to sanity. LA is a peculiar place. I honestly can’t stand the place. Maybe it’s my history living in New York, or the fact that people here are just weird. Sure, there’s some “beautiful” people here….but I never met such dumb people before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are some wonderfully smart people here, but I never truly connected with this place. It’s amazing how different San Diego (my favorite city) and San Francisco (another favorite) are from this place. LA is just not for me….the plane can’t take off soon enough.

When in Rome or PV....

The liberating square-cut.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

So there you have it, the elusive square-cuts. Yes, the article of clothing that is both sensually enjoyed by many and absolutely feared by others. I have to admit, I think square-cuts look way hot on guys; guys that should actually be wearing them. As for the rest, well…that’s why they made board shorts. Either case, my recent trip to Puerto Vallarta was a truly enjoyable trip, and a “coming out” of sorts. Coming right out of those board shorts and into a pair of (gasp) square-cuts.

The flight down was really great considering I got upgraded to first class. (Got to love America West/US Air Elite program….at least when you get upgraded….of course, when you don’t get upgraded…it’s the absolute worst.) My travel buddies were Chris (The President), Will (The Captain), Velasco (No nick name yet), and Paul (Ambassador of San Francisco). All of us flew down from PHX aside from the Ambassador, who of course flew from SFO. We arrived to wonderful hot and humid weather….perfect beach weather. We stood in line for about 30 minutes waiting to get through Mexican Customs. While in line, I chatted up a couple of older lesbian ladies, who swear by Puerto Vallarta. “You’re going to have such a fabulous time, you boys are!!” The conversation was a sign of gay things to come. We were soon quickly ushered into a van and taken to our hotel, Hotel Mercurio.

Puerto Vallarta is actually quite a nice place. I was expecting it to be more touristy, something like Cancun. But, actually, I was impressed by it’s old town charm, good beaches, and the fact that PV is the GAYEST PLACE IN MEXICO. I like to call it “Castro by The Beach”. There were gay boys everywhere. You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting some guy in square cuts or a sarong. (For those of you who don’t know..a sarong is the gayest legitimate article of clothing you can posses. It says “Look at me and how comfortable I am with myself…and no, silly it’s not a skirt!”). The Hotel was adequate for sleeping, stashing your stuff and the occasional continental breakfast. (and of course sex…for those that were able to do that.) It wasn’t the W Hotel by any sorts, but it was close to the beach and the bars.

The beach was wonderful. We anchored ourselves everyday by the Blue Chairs Beach Resort, which is where all the men hang out at. It was crowded, but not so much where it was ridiculous. We got 5 chairs on the beach very easily every day. The crowd of guys were awesome…tons of guys from Canada, Chicago, and other Midwest cities. All of them cruising through their mirrored sunglasses and periodically whispering comments back and forth between each other. (Except for the drunk ones….they were quite obvious and couldn’t care less.) Actually President’s Day weekend is THE weekend to go….it’s got a great mix of guys and isn’t too overcrowded. We drank Mango, Strawberry, and regular Margaritas on the beach and soaked up more cancerous rays of the sun than we could possibly want. I turned slightly red my first day, but it turned to a great tan thereafter. Everywhere you looked there were guys in speedos and square-cuts. I, of course, came unprepared and wore my board shorts the first day. So, I had to do something unthinkable.

The 2nd day, we ran out shopping in the early morning, where my goal was to find a pair of stylish square-cuts. Now, this is a big step for me. It’s not like I’m fat or anything, but I’m not at 3% body fat either. But after one day at the beach I realized that about half the guys were muscle bound hotties and the other half were polar opposite. So, I had a 50/50 chance of being grouped into one of those groups. But then I thought to myself, “Ah, who the fuck cares….when in Rome…” So I bought my first pair of square cuts and felt liberated. All five of us looked quite good at the beach, all sporting stylish square-cuts. And, I got a number of looks as well….good looks, that is. Made me feel good.

The rest of the trip was great. The food, bars, and travel companions were top notch. The Captain was the trip photographer, and I hope to get the official pictures very soon. If you’re debating a trip to PV, I would highly recommend it. Just don’t forget those square-cuts!