One of Those Days...

You ever have one of those days where, everything and everyone just frustrates the living hell out of you? Well, I am having one of those days. I’m not much for public venting, but I figure it’s time to let you all know of a couple things that freak’n piss me off. I like to consider myself a very upbeat, positive and forward thinking person, so this is rather uncharacteristic of me. So here’s a couple things that frustrate the hell out of me:

• Annoying and whinny people. Ok, sure, we all have situations in life that are bad. And, ok, sure, we all like to bitch now and then (like right now for me), but there comes a point when you just have to GET OVER IT. But what really pisses me off, is when I have to do someone else’s job, when they should have been doing it in the first place. And then, they take credit for it. If you want to really piss me off, this would be the way to do it professionally. I am only thankful that my boss saw this as well.

• The Bush Administration. What the fuck are these people thinking? I swear the cities of Toronto and Vancouver never looked so good. This newly ultra-conservative nomination (Alito) is just another shining example of the complete disconnect the Bushies have with the MAJORITY of America. The only glimmer of hope is the slow, but steady stream of indictments of Delay, Libby, and hopefully Frist, Santorum and Cheney. I just cannot believe how out of touch these people are and how much the hateful religious right has influence over them.

• Fatal Flaw and Flaky Guys. Ok, here we go again. If you are going to make a date with me, please keep it. And if you are going to cancel, please give me the courtesy of calling me and letting me know you are going to cancel. This seems to be a theme lately on the dating scene. As for the Fatal Flaw part, where are the guys who don’t have strings attached, or some other crazy flaw? Hey, we’re not all perfect, but I’m coming across some guys with some MAJOR issues, that quite frankly, scare me. Example: No Job, No Car, No idea where the hell they are cause they are screwed up on drugs, No concept of normality…the list goes on. We all have flaws….but when it comes to fatal flaws…well…I’m not interested. This is getting me a little depressed. Where the hell is the romance? I need to be swept off my feet…not under the carpet.

• Women Drivers. God, I KNOW I am going to piss a lot of people off by saying this, but, why the hell do they get a discount on insurance? I had 3, yes, THREE women cut me off today while driving. One was on a cell phone, the other was putting on makeup in her rear-view mirror, and the other was just a dumb blonde in a Hummer H2. Yea, I was pissed. Bitch.

• Halloween At Work. I love Halloween just as much as the next guy. But at work, it gets a little out of hand. People just don’t think when they do “drag” at work….and bad drag at that. Also, all rules of decency do not apply when you come as Pamela Anderson Lee with boobs the size of basketballs. I’m not being cranky on this, but if I have to tell one more person that what they wore to work is a little inappropriate, I’m going to go insane. (Although, I have to admit…very creative costumes….just not at work).

So there’s a couple of things that pissed me off today. Not a complete list, mind you. Gosh, I feel so much better! I think I will make myself feel even better today by eating the pumpkin pie I made last night….from scratch. Of course, I’ll feel guilty and go straight to the gym to work it off. Almost done with the Al Franken book…and it’s a good one! Definitely a great read. Looking forward to this weekend. Going up to Colorado Springs for 4 days and hopefully will be going to the Colorado Sand Dunes. I’ll definitely take some pictures as long as my Cybershot hold up. Until then…….

MSP, The Truth & a Butch Xterra

Al's next best seller.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I’ve gotten to the airport way early…3 hours in fact. So now, I’m waiting for my plane to Phoenix. America West only has one gate here in MSP, but that should change soon since US Airways has 3, I believe. I actually got to see one of the newly painted planes here at the airport, a very nice, but yet boring paint job. This merger thing still has me nervous, considering America West was making money and US Air was in bankruptcy…the second time in 2 years. Only time will tell. If worse comes to worse, I’ll turn to United or Southwest. Although Southwest has no first class or elite program. Did I mention I got upgraded? DRINKS ARE ON ME! (in first class).

I had a nice time in Minneapolis. The meeting here was extremely productive and I feel like I accomplished a lot work wise. We’re putting together a common orientation program or “onboarding” program for over 35,000 people across the country. It’s a new initiative to try to get people more connected with the company and improve the overall “great place to work” kinda thing. There are 7 of us on the project team…so we have our work cut out for us. It’s great exposure for me, and hey, gets me to Minneapolis every so often. Had some fun on Monday night, and Tuesday night I crashed and surfed the net. There’s definitely some ‘interesting ones to see’ here. If I had more time, I would love to explore this town a little more. I had the perfect car to do it in too. I rented a Nissan Xterra to tool around town in, Unfortunately, I was pretty much at the hotel the whole time. I have to admit; I looked damn good in that SUV. I had the whole look down when I picked it up: Worn Jeans, North Face Parka, Oakley sunglasses, short hair…..damn I should have been in the commercial.

So on my way back to the Airport, I had to run to the Mall of America (don’t cha know) to pick up Al Franken’s newest book “The Truth, With Jokes”. I was so excited about this book, as I read a really good review in the USA Today . I read his other book “Lies and The Lying Liars That Tell Them”. It was a freakin’ hilarious book, that was extremely well written and, quite frankly, one of my favorite reads. If you despise the radical right as much as I do, you should read both. Al’s comments are so right on. He’s a straight shooter and uses an extreme amount of common sense and humor. This is a comment from Al about his book:

“I present THE TRUTH not just to shock you, not just to make you laugh and cry alternatingly, or maybe even at the same time, not just to set the record straight – but to rouse you, to prepare you for battles ahead. The only vaccine powerful enough to inoculate you from the lies is the truth. This book is both sword and shield. With jokes.”

I’m so excited to start reading this book on the way home. I read his other book in 2 days. I expect the same with this one. I’ll keep you posted on what I think of the book when I finish.

My Biggest Stalker Fan

Mary Tyler Moore Statue in MSP
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

The Twin Cities, yes, Minneapolis/St. Paul. “Your gonna make it after all…” That’s right Mary, it’s freaking cold. The high today here was a balmy 44 degrees and as I write, I’m sure there’s snow blowing in this evening. If not, it should. Cause’ it’s damn cold. Although I do love trips to the northern cities. It reminds me of why I moved away to sunny PHX. I'm here for work. I have a huge project I am working on and I am the only representative from my division of the company. Should be productive. Although there are an insane amount of hot guys here….must be something in the water.

Yesterday I had the CRAZIEST experience. About 9pm last night I went to take out the trash (literally), and as I opened my door, there was a note stuck in between the crack of the door. So, as I opened my front door, this note fell out of the crack and onto the ground. At first, I thought it was a menu from Janky Changs or Guido’s Pizza, but it wasn’t. It was a bone fide note. A hand written pen and paper note. And here’s what it said:

“Are you interested in guys?”

I was sorta taken back by this. Was this God, asking me some divine question? Wouldn’t he rather of used his booming voice, or sent Mary in some glorified vision? So I stood there…trash in hand, the note in the other and just dumbfounded. Do I like guys? OF COURSE I LIKE GUYS…well, duh. In fact I love em’. Dammit. So then I thought, who the HELL would leave this kinda note, and not even leave a number or email or even a popcorn trail leading to his (or her) house? Now think about this, did this person expect me to raise my hands to the sky and scream “GOD, YES…yes!!! I am interested in guys, dammit Yes!!!!!” I mean, come on.

So now, I am dying with curiosity on who this mystery writer is. I think it could be my new neighbor across the way that leaves his windows open. I catch him looking into my place every so often. In fact, walking around nude in my place doesn’t happen much anymore, cause it’s sorta freaky. Well, if he was hot, that would be another story.....but we won’t go there. Also, I think it’s rather bold (albeit very HIGH SCHOOL) to sneak up to my door and leave a little note. I know some of you might find it romantic and all...but I find it just weird. It definitely looks like a guy’s handwriting. I’m just glad it wasn’t a note made out of cut out news paper letters….you know like a stalker/killer.

So to you, the incognito writer, here’s your answer “Yes, I dig dudes, dude.” And for your information, please leave some means of getting a hold of you…cause I’d like to teach ya thing or two about proper note etiquette. And if your stalking me, well, you better be damn cute.

Friday Fun with Ms. Dayne

AZ88, A Favorite Restaurant in PHX
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Well, I can now officially say that I saw Taylor Dayne. The show was an absolutely wonderful time. And, let me tell you, that woman has got one hell of a voice. A screaming black diva in a white gal’s body. Wow. The venue was pretty good. The concert was a fundraiser for Body Positive, our local Aids task force group. It was at the Scottsdale Center For Performing Arts, which is conveniently located right next to one of my favorite restaurants AZ88. So, as you can imagine it was swarming with homosexuals, heterosexuals, metrosexuals, metrosexuals that are actually homosexuals, and of course a slew of fag hags. (I use those terms in jest, as I refuse to be overly PC). The night started out with Kelly and Bill coming over and then driving over to the venue. I always have a ball of fun with these guys. They are they type of guys you’d want to hang out with when you want to let your hair down and get all loose-lipped and just KNOW you’re going to have a good time. Of course that usually happens with me with anyone, after 3 cosmopolitans.

Anyway, we started out at AZ88 and it was pretty crowded for 6:00pm on a Friday. Most people were going to the show next door, but I’m sure there were a fair share of other people there to eat as well. After about 3-4 drinks we moved over to the venue. It was like a huge club inside. A DJ was spinning, the drinks were flowing and the gays were throwing drama all over the room. Yes, this was a gay event. The fun of having Kelly and Bill with you is that they know a lot of the little things that you would never know about people in the room. Of course I found it humorous at how familiar some of these people looked. You know, would life be easier if just people would wear their screen names on a nametag? “Oh YOUR hungdude4u!, You look so much taller in your pics.” “Now wait, you can’t be TOPJOCK35…you’re like 60 years old.” Of course, the three of us comparing notes got all the info we could possible need. Imagine having a Rosetta stone for the gay online world.

No sooner did I figure out who HUNGJOCK4U was, then we were being directed into the theatre to see the show. Kelly got us great seats, of course as he would concur, there are no bad seats in the place. Kimberly Locke opened the show and did a pretty good job. I have to admit, she was pretty good for being the looser on American Idol. Well, I didn’t mean “looser”…hell, she did get a record deal. She finished her performance with the song “Over the Rainbow”, which she did a great job. I wonder why she picked that song? Hmmmm.

Taylor Dayne finally made it on the stage, and she really held court. This woman can sing, gosh darnit! She sang all the tunes you’ve grown up with. To many to list, but it brought back memories of 1987 and high school in the back seat of a Chevy Celebrity. Sigh. Anyway, one point to mention is that she had a really hot guitarist in her band. Very cute. Also, her back up singer was pretty darn good as well. All in all, it was a great night.

Woke up this morning with a bit of a hangover. Nothing that 4 Advil Liquigels can’t handle. So this morning, I did a ton of laundry and starting to plan out my next trip to Minneapolis. Going there Monday for three days for work. It’s been crazy at work. Had to lay off 112 people here in Phoenix. The good part is that I wasn’t alone in delivering a message like that. I had 2 managers with me. A lot of people freak out when they hear stuff like that. I was lucky that the people took the message pretty well, and that they have a 90 day working notice period, before they go out on severance. It’s the part of my job that I don’t like, but yet, it is my job. I try to structure the message in as much of a positive light as I can. It’s hard but yet, it’s got to be done.
That’s why I needed last night…to remind me that life CAN be fun as well. It was a great way to end a hard week. Now, just looking forward to relaxing as much as possible this weekend. More stories to come, I’m sure of it.

www.az88.com
www.phoenixbodypositive.org

I Often Wonder....

Golden Gate Bridge
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

I often wonder if Emily Post would have written a book for “Polite Rules for Conference Calls”. I’m currently sitting in my San Francisco office on a conference call. I’m merely on this call for observation, and to make sure that no one is doing anything illegal Human Resources wise. Unfortunately the guy talking on this call is the most insanely boring monotonous Indian guy you have ever heard. So imagine: a thick accented and monotone voice talking about some technology issue. It’s enough to make you jump off the Golden Gate Bridge (at least here in SF). There’s about 9 people on this call, and each person is doing SOMETHING not very polite. For example, there’s one person, who we’ll call Edie the Eater. She’s talking on the call chomping on her breakfast of Crunchy Crunch Bark and Styrofoam cereal. I can tell by the annoying crunching that people in Nevada can hear…cause it’s so damn loud. I guess she never heard of the saying “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Another person, who I like to call Tim the Typer, seems to love beating up his keyboard to the point I can hear the plastic flying off the computer. I know he’s not taking notes on the meeting, I suspect he’s chatting with his next trick on AOL or some other instant messaging service. You can just tell, short bursts of typing and then short pauses. I suspect his screen name would be TIMTOPTYPER4U. It’s called the mute button, buddy. Then there’s my favorite “impolite” conference caller: Trish the Telecommuter. Since when does a conference call involve having your 3 month old on the phone with you? This baby was crying like it was being shaken by a British nanny. Then of course her dog was barking in the background, and the doorbell rang twice. I think the cable guy was installing in a new cable box and the other one was Fed Ex dropping off a package. The fact that I even KNOW this is a sad example of how annoying it was to have her on the call. Of course, there was also a person on a cell phone at the airport, who was leaving for flight 149 to New York on American Airlines. I know cause it sounded like the gate agent was announcing the flight on the phone, it was so loud. SO now, I have the incredible urge to announce “Will all off you rude people, please MUTE your lines so I don’t have to hear your business!!??” ERRR….freakin’ annoying!!!

Having a great time, otherwise, here in SF. The weather here has been insanely beautiful: 80 and sunny. The weekend was wonderful. Paul and I tore up the town on Friday night and Saturday. Visited a number of watering holes and just an all around fun time. Paul is a great friend to have in such a fabulous city. He knows SO much about SF and is able to maneuver the city like a well oiled machine. He is the ultimate guide to SF, and I consider myself lucky to have him as a good friend. Friday we went to a club called 8. We had a great time. Good drinks great music, but a lot of Asians. And let me tell you, these Asians were quite forward….my ass was grabbed way too many times. They must have a thing for 6’3 Midwestern guys. One practically tore my jeans. I was a bit PO’ed on that, but I think he got the idea that I wasn’t into Asians. Now if he was a hunky Italian? Well, that would be a different story.

Sunday we ran away to Sonoma to escape the city. Paul had use of a fabulous Mercedes SLK 2 door convertible. Top down, driving in wine country, perfect weather, sun shining,…..I mean, could it get any better? I just needed a pair of Jackie O’s and a long white scarf flowing in the wind….too glamorous. We also had use of his friend’s house in wine country, which included a huge pool. So there was 4 of us up there and laid out by the pool, and had a fair share amount of beer. It was just wonderful. The drive back was amazing as the sun was setting and as we drove over the Golden Gate the moon was full, and hanging low just over the city. It was like a post card. I do love this city. Very romantic.

Well, it’s back to PHX, and looking forward to the sunny weather, and the Taylor Dane concert I’ll be attending on Friday. Should have lots to write about that.

When did CNN get HOT?

Roberts "Giving Good Headlines"
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

The Hampton Inn here in Springfield, Illinois is simply the most luxurious hotel one can imagine in this god forsaken town. Actually, the Hampton has done a good job reinventing itself into a “hip” low cost hotel that caters to the 20s-30s. They have new graphics all over, free breakfast, and free high-speed Internet, all in a “High Style bought at Target” kinda feel. It’s definitely better than a Motel 6 or your local HoJo. I guess when you “grow up” you get to go to the Hilton or something. I personally love the Starwood Hotels Group. Like the obviously gay in your face W Hotel. And we’re getting one in Scottsdale!!!

So, I’ve been sitting in my hotel room, minding my own business, when I come across CNN. Headline News, specifically. I was shocked an amazed to see that the on-air personalities were secretly replaced by hunky Men’s Fitness models. I immediately came across hottie Thomas Roberts “giving good headlines” as the hourly anchor. Could this guy be any hotter? I mean, his picture on the CNN website does not do him justice (or anyone in their on-air talent pool). He could give me bad news any day of the week.

Then like a Midwestern thunderstorm, Rob Marciano comes blowing in. He totally reminds me of Antonio Sabato Jr. The guy is one hot Italian. Every time I see this guy, I drop everything and just watch him. All I hear is “blah, blah, blah, blah…” I mean who cares about the weather when you’ve feel breaking news in your pants.

And then there’s Steve Overmyer. When did Abercrombie & Fitch lend it’s models to CNN? Did I miss the memo on this? I mean, again…another looker. All these guys are incredibly good looking and make news MUCH more interesting. I’m already a news junkie, but now I have even more incentive to watch CNN. God help me if they ever move to FOX. I would suggest updating all of the pics on the CNN website, say..... with shirts off?

All Points Bulletin

They want WHAT!!??
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

That’s right, I’m officially putting out an APB for single guys in their 30’s. I’m 32 years old and trying to find a single gay guy in his 30’s. You figure it wouldn’t be that hard, especially in the nation’s 5th largest city by population. But alas, there seems to be a huge shortage of guys in their 30’s. Browsing the classifieds, or even surfing the online world, still shows that the number of 30 something guys is proportionately low. There’s PLENTY of 20 somethings, and more than enough of 40 somethings….but gosh darn it…not enough guys age 30-39. It’s not that I have a problem with guys NOT in their 30’s, but I’d like to find a guy to date relatively around my age. 22 is just too young, 44 is just too far from my age to relate. God, I sound like Goldie Locks…..”this one is JUST RIGHT!” Well, until I find that “well fitting” guy, I’ll pursue those elusive 30 somethings where ever they may be hiding.

My experience in the dating world had definitely been an adventure. I’ve found 2 types of guys out there. First, you have your guys who are out JUST to get laid. I’ve come across plenty of those. The “Wham Bams”, as I like to call them. These are the guys you meet online, or in a bar, or at a party. They have one thing on their mind, and usually pursue you for one reason. Although I am happy to oblige some of the time, these guys just end up being a fun time and nothing more. Wham Bams aren’t looking for a relationship, and although some may have potential, they still have only one thing on the mind: getting laid. Nothing wrong with this, as we’ve all been in Wham Bam moods, and hell…we all need to get laid.

The other type of guy is the one who is DYING for a relationship. I like to call these guys the “Husband Hunters” or “HH”. HH guys are actually great guys, but unless you are also a HH, there’s no way this is going to work out. I’ve met a number of HHs in my single days so far. Some have all been hot guys with total potential, but not for me right now. They are ready and willing to pick out that China Pattern at Macys. I give these guys a lot of credit as they usually know what they want, and go for it at 120% and at WARP 6. Unfortunately, sometimes they can end up being stalkers as well. In this case a police restraining order comes in handy. Boiling rabbits on the stove top, is never a good sign.

I, on the other hand, am dead center of these two types of guys. Just playing the field and weighing out my options. Sorta take things slow and see where they end up. I’m totally open to dating guys, but just not ready to move in after two weeks of knowing someone. Sure a wham bam is nice once in awhile, but meeting a guy and actually going on a real date is nicer. Eh, hey… if the date has a wham bam too….ok…I can do that, but shouldn’t be expected. I met a guy recently who asked me what was my expectations before we went on a date….and I said “none”. I think that statement made the date go SO well. And, no, it didn’t end up being a wham bam. Although I would have been more than happy for it to be, I actually got to know the guy and well…..it was nice. Of course he lives 500 miles away…..which is a whole OTHER blog entry: “Why do all the good ones live far, far, far away?”

So, in closing I though I would leave you with an absolutely insane personal ad I came across, that show’s just how crazy the gay dating scene can be. If you can’t figure out what the letters mean, ask a friend. Enjoy, and happy dating!

AD from Craigslist: Desperate and eager for total submission and humiliation. Need a top who gives orders and takes complete control. Am prepared to do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE. Especially need public humiliation. Am ready for ws, cbt, bondage, forced nudity, forced workouts. Ready to be in public wearing whatever I am ordered. Am excellent cocksucker, but expect that will only be my reward for performing well. Need to be challenged and tested. 6'1", 185#,32w, 44c.

Can you say “issues”? Sounds like someone you’d bring home to mom, huh?

Powerballs & Porn Stars

The $3 Thrill.
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the Powerball. Can you imagine? Wow….that’s a whole heck of a lot of money. $240 million, in fact. Of course after the government takes it share, it’s ONLY $112 million. Do you think you could request that the money you pay in taxes could NOT go to any Bush agenda items? Unfortunately, I haven’t won the Powerball, and don’t plan on it, but yet, I’ll still play…cause you JUST never know. Have you been Powerballed lately? Wait……don’t answer that. Today I was trying to think of creative slogans for Powerball and here’s what I came up with:

“Have you played with your favorite balls lately? Powerball”
“Get Powerballed!”
“Bigger Jackpots, Bigger Balls”
“You’ve got 2 we’ve got 6. Powerball”

Now think, if you actually DID win, what would you do? I know that I would definitely quit my job, and travel the world. I’d buy a couple houses and then just live off the interest and enjoy the finer things in life. Nothing too extravagant. My family would be taken care of, and a select group of friends. Definitely would change my phone number. Isn’t it amazing how we can just sit and imagine for hours on winning a large sum of money? Sigh. I’ll let you all know when I win on Wednesday. And if you win, I’ll forward clothing sizes and a wish list or two. (Hint: 3 letters: B. M. W.)

Last night I went out with my good friend Travis. The night seemed to have this “porn” theme to it. We started our night out by going to Castle Mega Store over on 44th street. For those not from PHX, Castle is a porn store. Yes, you know, the place you buy those naughty videos, condoms, lube and all the other fun stuff that makes you a total sinner in the eyes of every right winged Christian man, woman, and child. (You’re a sinner and you know it, gosh darnit!) Anyway, by request of myself, we stopped there so I could pick up some “items”. No, it wasn’t any toys, videos, or that leather harness thingy-ma-gig….that’s what the internet is for. ;) (Don’t worry, not a leather daddy here) While I was there I kept thinking that I would just LOVE to work at a porn store for about a week. The stuff people buy there would fascinate me. I would probably get fired from asking too many questions. “Sir, would you like any condoms to go with that 12” double dong?” “Miss, you are aware that you’ll have to buy D size batteries for that vibrator…oh wait!…I see it has a plug (raised eyebrow)…never mind….that will be $109.” “Your total is $69 dollars….no way!”

After our little jaunt to Sinner Mart, we went to this new bar called HOMME off Camelback. I love this new bar…it’s so cool. It’s a loungy, everyman’s bar. Something for everyone. Multilevel, and intimate. Unassuming and unpretentious. Plus it had a vibe all it’s own. I just hope that it doesn’t fill up with the drug/looser crowd. Definitely where I would like to hang out. Anyway, Matthew Rush was there with some other porn star. He’s in town working on a play called “Making Porn.” I’m sure it’s a Pulitzer-winning story line with riveting acting and a plot…..NOT. If you’ve ever scene a porn, you know why those people are in porn…and it ain’t because of their acting. He’s a lot shorter than one would think…still a big muscle guy, but shorter. Of course, everyone is short to me.

We ended the night at Roscoe’s, which was dead last night. It was wonderful…the smoke level was the lowest I have ever seen it! Travis and I played darts and he totally kicked my ass. Maybe it was the 5 Bacardi Limon and diets? Eh, who knows…we had a great time and got to catch up on some good stories. We were also graced with the presence of Jeff and Rick, and Mark the Rocket Scientist. Always fun to see and been seen with those guys.

The night ended with the ceremonial trip to Denny’s. It’s amazing what one will eat at 3am. AUGH.

www.powerball.com
www.phoenixhomme.com
www.roscoeson7.com
www.castlemegastore.com

Something Special in The Air

My Breasts can be used as Floatation Devices
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

Ah yes, the joys of travel. As some of you may know, I have been traveling a lot for work. My work tends to take me all over the Western US to wonderful destinations like San Francisco, San Diego, and Colorado Springs. But next week is going to be one hell of a travel week. Looks like I get to go to the cultural megalopolis of Des Moines, Iowa; the epicenter of civilization known as Springfield, Illinois; and then it’s off to SF for the weekend and early parts of the following week. (Yes, I’ll be a little jet lagged considering I have to do all of this travel in 5 days.) I found this picture from Hooters Air…how fun would it be to fly THAT airline? Big Bouncing Boobs in a Boeing. You have to admit…it would be cool…just to say you flew on “Hooters”. Sorta like going to a topless show in Vegas….could care less about the boobies…but the costumes were FABULOUS. www.hootersair.com

But yet, I love what I do. Working in Human Resources is just too much fun not to like it. I like to call HR people the “flight attendants of business”. I would guesstimate that over half of all men working in Human Resources are gay. How do I know? Well, just go to a Society of Human Resources Management convention, and there’s more drama thrown around the room than Joan Crawford with a wire hanger. Just serve liquor, put up a disco ball, play the latest Cher track and you’ve got a Pride festival. Those queens (I’m not really queeny…well….maybe after 4 appletinis…) just flock to the HR departments of most major corporations. It’s quite an observation if you ask me. Think about it…..you ALWAYS know who the new hires are, get to see the HOT guys that may be interviewing, and know ALL the dirt going on in the company. Call me crazy…but it’s the truth.

Although I love my job, traveling can be quite a chore. But I have traveled enough to give everyone some simple advice on traveling the “Not-So Friendly” skies. Some tips:

1. Buy an iPod. I have this magnet for “talkers” sitting next to me. There’s nothing more annoying than having Martha from Minny sitting next to you giving you her life history about her divorce, job, plastic surgery, or out of body experience with Shirley McClain. Simple “uh huh” with a slip of the headset takes care of that problem right away.

2. Get to the airport early. Nothing is more annoying than rushing to get on the plane at the last minute. You’ll never see more dirty looks from passengers that holding up the plane from taking off on time. Flight attendant’s really hate this as well. I think they pee in your drink if you do this.

3. A fold-over suit bag with everything stuffed in it…WILL NOT fit in the overhead bin. Seeing these businessmen try to stuff these bags overhead is like watching a 3 year old put a square block in a round hole…it just doesn’t work. Check it. Plain and simple. Watching these people is quite entertaining. When they are told they have to check their bag, it’s like watching a small child leave the clutches of their mother’s arms on the first day of school.

4. Don’t kill the gate agent for weather related delays. I’ve seen these poor people get torn down by total idiots who demand that they get on another flight when the wrath of god is playing outside in thunderstorms. My thought is this: Let them. Just put them all on a plane and let it take off. Cause when the plane gets struck by lightning and goes down in a fiery ball of flames…I’ll feel better knowing that their needs were met.

5. And finally, smile and be nice. It goes a long way with the flight crew…and if you’re lucky you’ll get a free drink…..or a hand job. Hey…being in the mile high club DOES have its privileges…..

iPodding Through The Weekend

iPodding
Originally uploaded by EdnPHX.

This week was a great week for new music for me. A lot of people when they are bored go to the movies, or go to the mall, or even go to the bars. Me? I have this crazy little habit of surfing iTunes and spending my way, 99 cents at a time, through boredom. Well, this weekend wasn’t too boring, but yet, I had some downtime to surf through some new music that’s worth telling everyone about. Here’s what I discovered:

Sheryl Crow, Wildflower. Well, it’s official; I’m a Sheryl Crow fan yet again. Lance Armstrong must be doing something good to that gal. She really nails it hard on this album. Good mix of rock, acoustic guitar, and a bit of folk in it too. Favorite tracks are “Good is Good” (which when it hits the radio airwaves, we’ll be sick from overplaying), “I Know Why”, and “Always On Your Side”. That last one resonates particularly deep with me. Makes me think of past relationships.

Hope Partlow, Who We Are. OK, This girl can sing. If you’re into the likes of Avril Lavigne, Lindsay Lohan, Toby Lightman, you’d dig this album. Yea, it’s total muff rock, but it’s the good kind. If she’s promoted right, she’ll probably go far. “Who We Are” and “Sick Inside” are keepers on this record.

Faith Evans, Mesmerized (Freemason’s Radio Mix). Alright, I KNOW I’ve mentioned this one before, but it’s just too much fun NOT to have in your library. Total “Cha Cha Heels” tune. Gets you in that mood to go out and kick it at the club. This tune wakes me up on the morning commute. If you see a silver TL weaving in and out of traffic, this is what he’s listening to.

Jamiroquai, Dynamite. Love this group…loved them for years, and love them once again. If you’ve never been exposed to this group, you’re missing out musically. It’s quite hard to describe this group: Disco, Funk, Trance, R&B, meets Motown, meets Alternative…….it’s just one big hodgepodge of stuff. But, gosh darn it, it works! “Don’t Give Hate a Chance” is quite spectacular (and “secret gay”). Also recommend “Starchild” and “Dynamite”.

LeAnn Rimes, This Woman. If you know me, you know I love girl country music. My little LeAnn has all grown up! I was getting nervous a couple years ago…she was getting quite “Britney Spearsish”…and well, she’s not a whore. Thank god, she figured that out. Whore or not, she brings us a great country album with some great lyrics coupled with some great music. “Something’s Gotta Give” is just awesome. Makes me want to go out and buy a Ford F-150.

Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business. Yes, I know…I’m late to the party on this one. For some odd reason I never had interest in this group, but I broke down and downloaded the album to see what all the hub-bub was about. Now I see the light. This group is just a ball of fun. “Don’t Lie” and “Don’t Phunk With My Heart” are just all around fun tunes to listen too. But you know the inner black woman in me loves “My Humps”. Just listen to the song…you’ll know why.

So there’s a little glimpse into my iPod(s). Those tunes got me through the boring parts of the weekend. Aside from the music, went to the “Rainbow Festival” here in town this weekend. Not too bad…..uneventful if you ask me. The usual people with shirts off, who shouldn’t have shirts off kinda crowd. Went to Charlies last night…and it reminded me why I only go to the place every so often. But I was with some great friends of mine, and they make going out all worth it! ;)